“Maybe.” Kaia flicked ashes away from his cigarette. “I’m thinking of staying,” he admitted, wondering if he was oversharing.
Ryan was persona non grata because of his fucked-up behavior, but they kept him on the fridges of their group on his mother’s behalf. The family had a dynamic Kaia would never understand. They frequently fought, sometimes physically, but when it counted the most, they stood together.
“Fia?” Ryan asked once he lit his own cigarette.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re staying for Fia,” Ryan guessed. “She’s been dogging your steps all evening.”
Kaia pursed his lips, absently dragged on his cigarette, and flicked more ashes. “Do you think Rebel noticed?”
“Probably not.”
“She is gorgeous,” Kaia said with a wistful smile. “She probably thinks…”No one would ever cheat on herdied on his lips.
“A motherfucker wouldn’t fuck another chick if she was going steady with him?” Ryan supplied.
Playing dumb, Kaia didn’t answer.
“It isn’t that.”
Kaia begged to differ. Rebel loved herself, but Ryan sounded so confident, he had to ask, “Then what is it?”
“Trust, dickhead. She trusts you. She grew up watching women surround Uncle Christopher and Aunt Meggie never once doubted his faithfulness. It was only recently that it was called into question.”
Guilt squeezed into Kaia, and he winced. “Are you sure she trusts me? She constantly says CJ and Outlaw set her up to meet me.”
“She knows her father and brothers, Kaia. Theydidset her up. That goes back to Uncle Christopher and Aunt Meggie, too. He is notorious for manipulating situations so they come out the way he wants them. Rebel can trust you in one way, but not in another. In the scheme of things, keeping your cock in your pants is much more important to her. That other shit can be worked out. That couldn’t. Especially if you fuck Fia again.”
“Should I…?” Flushing, Kaia flicked his cigarette away. “Rebel’s on birth control.” He felt so unfair even thinking that because it meant pressuring her for sex. “I can take her on a date and…should I sleep with Rebel instead?”
Ryan shrugged. “If you’re tired of living.”
He absolutelywasn’ttired of living. He loved life, but he enjoyed sex, too.
Fuck, he probably shouldn’t have drank as much as he had. Alcohol always made himhorny, which brought him right back to the Rebel dilemma.
“I’ve never gone steady with a girl that I can’t fuck.”
“Yeah, dickhead, then you shouldn’t have agreed to go steady with a fucking fourteen-year-old on a tight leash.” Ryan rolled his eyes. “That’s common sense.”
“I couldn’t risk losing her.” Besides that wasn’t quite how it all happened. But he’d gotten caught up in her beauty and was drowning in guilt after the first time he’d slept with Fia.
“I get that. My cousin is already a knockout and hell-on-wheels. I can see how you fell for her.”
“I like her a lot, but I’m not sure how deep my feelings…”
Ryan lifted his brow and more guilt poured into Kaia. He didn’t know how to explain himself and his meaning was coming out all wrong.
“I mean…suppose I wait for however long, and she doesn’t like sex or we aren’t compatible in bed. She doesn’t please me. She doesn’t suck dick or like her pussy licked. She doesn’t like the smell of sex or the sounds. What then?”
“Let me ask you this, beta boy. Do you like Rebel or do you like the idea of her?”
“What the fuck’s a beta boy?” Kaia asked, evading the question, since he didn’t have ananswer. He enjoyed her company, but he was so enamored that a girl like her found him funny, intelligent, and handsome, he’d never considered much beyond that. This was also his first real club party. He hadn’t hung around for Nyx’s initiation, but tonight, girl after girl approached him for no-strings attached sex. To keep him company. To dance with him. He’d never experienced anything like it, where he had his pick of women, alcohol, and blunts. He realized Ryan hadn’t answered him. “Are you insulting me?”
“You’re the epitome of a beta, cuck,” Ryan replied. “Once I would’ve been insulting you. Now, it’s just one of my terms of endearment.”
“They don’t feel very endearing, especially when you call me a cuck. Which I’m not.”
