“You’re not leaving me. I love you. I can’t imagine my life without you. You arenotleaving. You’re only thinking about your selfishness and hurt feelings.”
“You’ve hurt me. You want to hurt Bash and Mortician, my friend.”
He was hurting Mortician by targeting Bailey because that motherfucker couldn’t tell Kendall he didn’t really want her. Johnnie hadn’t figured out how to get to Bash. For now, that didn’t matter. Only Kendall’s obsession with motherfuckingMortician. “I wish you put as much consideration into me as you do him.”
“I have. I did. You didn’t care. You’re hellbent on destroying friendships, family, and yourself.Me.”
“I was doing—”
“Nothing worth everything you’ve torched. You went rogue because you found an excuse to do it. You found a way to get back at Meggie for spurning you. You want to hurt Mortician just because he’s my friend. You wanted to make Outlaw pay for being the man he is. For never failing you, no matter the reason.”
“So, now you’re taking it upon yourself to seek revenge on their behalf by leaving me?” Johnnie asked with incredulity.
“I’m tired. I want…I want you to love me because I’m Kendall, not Meggie’s replacement. I’m tired of being second in your life to ghosts of the past. And I fucking refuse to live in fear that you’ll force me to your bed because you’ve lost your fucking mind.”
Pain settled in Johnnie’s gut, leaving him at a loss as to how to proceed. “What do you want me to say?”
“What can you say when I’ve lost all faith in you? You aren’t my Johnnie and I’ve accepted that you never will be again.”
“So what are you saying?” Johnnie demanded, afraid, angry and hurt. “You no longer love me?”
“I love you very much, but it’s never been enough. I can’t seem to stop loving you.”
It sounded as if she was trying her best to. He wouldn’t point that out, though. He’d focus on something else. “You crucify me because of Megan when I stopped loving her years ago. Tell me, Kendall, how can you be second to her if we both know I don’t fucking love her?”
“Johnnie!” she cried, her voice trembling. “You love the idea of her. That broken girl you swooped in to try and steal from Outlaw. She isn’t…” She yanked at the wild tangle of her hair. “And here we are again. Still talking about her. We spend more time on her than we do on us. She’s living her life, loving her husband.”
“And hating me!”
“You’ve been very hateable lately, motherfucker,” she snarled.
Johnnie would attack in a different way since this argument wasn’t working. “Leave, Kendall.Go. But my children stay with me.”
“Mattie needs me and Blade’s a toddler. JJ is old enough—”
“Fuck you. You’ll never see them again. After I sue for full custody and win because of your history of fucking insanity, I’ll take them far away from Hortensia, where you’ll never find them.”
Kendall tried to twist around, but he slid behind her, nestling her between his thighs. “Johnnie—”
“Shut up,” he gritted.
“You don’t—”
“I mean every fucking word,” he interrupted. “Since you have so little regard for me and think I’m a piece of shit—”
“The past hour hasn’t changed that perception!”
“You think I don’t love you, then I’ll live up to your fucking expectations.”
“You can’t take my children. My Mattie. Please, I’m begging you. I love my kids,” she said, starting to sob again. “They’re all I have.”
“Fuck you,” he snarled, insulted. “And you’re a fucking liar. You have your precious Mortician. Roxanne. Megan. Christopher.Bash, whom I think you fucked recently.”
“I haven’t.”
“It’s one of them, Kendall,” Johnnie snarled. “Why the fuck did you go away with Mortician last week if not to fuck him? No, why the fuck did you lie and suddenly decide to leave Sunday?”
“I haven’t slept with anyone.”
