March 30th
Silence wrapped around Harley Banks and threatened to smother her. Alone in her aunt and uncle’s log cabin, the weight of her bad behavior and stupid decisions pressed in on her, and she wondered if she screamed, screamed from the depths of her soul, would the exposed wooden beams absorb her misery. Or would the noise ricochet in a never-ending echo that burst her eardrums.
She regretted not going to Diesel Caldwell’s birthday party. She wouldn’t have been in Uncle Val and Aunt Zoann’s house, thinking…whenthinkingwasn’t good or safe for her. She shouldhave gone, despite her falling out with his brother and sister, she would’ve been welcomed. Except it was so hard to overcome everything that had happened in the past week and paste on a smile, pretending all was well.
Nardo wasn’t a problem any longer. He and his father were dead. Pillar of Earth,Willard, had been exposed. YetHarleyfelt exposed. Unsafe. Icky and dirty, a lingering feeling she didn’t know how to overcome.
Daddy had been texting her. He’d come to Aunt Zoann’s several times to visit her, but Harley had only been able to swallow her shame to see him once. She didn’t want to see anyone. Instead, she wanted to cave into herself and hide for the rest of her life.
However long that might be. She was just exhausted.
Lolly had also tried to reach her. Harley didn’t know what to say or how to apologize, so when a text from Mattie came through inviting Harley over, she almost declined.
But she was still alone in the house, still miserable and overwhelmed by frightening thoughts. Everyone else was still at Diesel’s party. She could run away. Drown herself. Slit her wrists. Hang herself. Except shecouldn’t.
She could never put Aunt Zoann and Uncle Val through the trauma of finding her body. Instead of sitting on the sofa that doubled as her bed, Harley fired off a text to Aunt Zoann and told her she was going to visit Mattie.
#1 Auntie: Have fun, sweetheart. I won’t be much longer. If I’m asleep when you get back home, wake me up. We need to talk.
Harley studied her phone, thought about calling her mother, but knowing it wasn’t a good idea. Earlier, Mommie declined the call. Harley’s rock bottom mood couldn’t handle more rejection, even if she deserved the treatment.
Just as she was pulling on her sneakers, the doorbell rang. Sighing, she grabbed the sneaker she hadn’t put on yet and walked to the door. Her uneven gait made her smile.
A glance through the peephole revealed Aunt Kendall. Concerned something had happened, Harley hurriedly opened the door.
“Hi, darling,” Aunt Kendall greeted.
Shame coursed through Harley and she lowered her lashes. “Aunt Zoann is at Diesel’s party,” she mumbled.
“I’m not here for Zoann, sweetheart. I asked Mattie to invite you over, then she reminded me of your fear of the dark.”
Harley nodded, still unable to meet Aunt Kendall’s gaze.
“Oh, darling,” she murmured, taking Harley into her arms and hugging her tightly.
For some reason, that was all it took for Harley to burst into tears and hug Aunt Kendall back, never more grateful for her.
Harley spoke through her tears, but she couldn’t process her words. They just fell from her lips in humiliation and misery and sorrow.
“Come, let’s go inside and talk,” Aunt Kendall said, tears clogging her throat.
“I’m sorry,” Harley said, that statement clear in her head. “I’m sorry.”
Aunt Kendall took Harley’s face between her hands. “Listen to me, love. You have nothing to be sorry for. Those fuckheads are to blame.” She lowered her voice. “I know all about Ryan’s role. I also understand why it’s a secret.”
Dropping her hands, she stepped back and tangled her fingers through her hair then brushed past Harley and sailed to the den, basically Harley’s bedroom.
Closing the door behind her and afraid she’d angered her aunt, Harley found Aunt Kendall pacing, her arms folded. Even in jeans, an oversized sweater, and sneakers, she was elegant.
Harley stumbled to the sofa.
Aunt Kendall drew in a breath, then sat next to Harley. “I came to check on you because I knew you were here alone. That’s a dangerous place to be with the trauma you’ve suffered.”
Harley bowed her head. Daddy and Lolly told her to stand tall, if only because their bloodflowed in her veins, but she’d never felt more broken.
“Right now, everything seems bleak. Unsurvivable.” Aunt Kendall allowed that word to linger between them. “It’s going to be day-to-day, Harley. I’m not saying it’ll be easy because it won’t be. You’re bowed, not broken,” she murmured as if she saw Harley’s innermost thoughts. “Don’t let those motherfuckers win. Not Ryan, Nardo, or his fucking father. Especially don’t let that Bart fuckhead defeat you.”
“It feels as if they already have,” Harley whispered. “I’m so ashamed, Aunt Kendall. Of what they made me do and what they did to me. I’m ashamed of how I acted.”
