“It hasn’t been too difficult because he’s never come back for an extended period of time. Plus, I traveled a lot before my health took a nosedive.”
“I’m sorry that you had to deal with this today,” Tracy said.
“I’m sure my family will say I’ve overreacted, and maybe they’re right. But I just couldn’t face him after he didn’t recognize me. I don’t want him to compare me to the girl he dated.”
“Do you still have feelings for him?” Tracy asked. “I mean, ten years is a long time, but it seems like you still care what he thinks about you.”
Amelia took her time answering, knowing that it would make her look dumb. “Even though I knew that breaking up was the right thing to do at the time, I always imagined him showing up one day when our lives had settled down to tell me that he still loved me and wanted to be with me again.” Amelia paused. “There’s a lot I haven’t told you about my life during that period of time, but let’s just say that I had lofty goals for myself, and always figured that when I attained the ultimate goal, he’d be there waiting for me.”
“And he wasn’t.”
“No, he wasn’t. And he’d moved on, dating other girls. I didn’t have time to date anyone else, so I guess I never really got over him like he was able to get over me.”
“Maybe you should talk to him,” Tracy suggested. “It might help you to move past whatever it is you’re feeling about seeing him again.”
Right in that moment, Amelia couldn’t imagine anything she wantedlessthan to talk to Benji. It could be that Tracy was right, and it was what she needed to do. But in her current mindset, she wasn’t sure she could face him.
She knew a large part of her reluctance was her pride. She didn’t want him to see her and be relieved that he’d dodged a bullet thanks to their breakup. She didn’t want him to be glad that he’d escaped having to deal with everything that had transpired in her life, including her weight gain.
“I hope that he’s just here for the weekend,” Amelia said.
“Don’t you think it would be beneficial for you to get this first meeting over with?” Tracy asked.
As far as Amelia was concerned, they’d already had their first meeting in ten years. And he hadn’t recognized her… It was the one thing she just couldn’t seem to get past.
“I think seeing him has helped me understand that I need to work harder to put that time of my life behind me. I’ve continued to let it linger in my heart, and I need to put it aside.”
“I think a conversation with him might help you do that,” Tracy said. “But obviously there are nuances to this that I’m not aware of.”
“I’m sorry I’m not giving you all the details,” Amelia said with a sigh. “It’s just that I lost a lot when I began to struggle with my health, and it’s been very difficult for me to accept or talk about. Even with my family.”
“Well, you know that I’m always here for you,” Tracy told her. “If you want to talk, all you have to do is call. And be assured that I’ll be praying for you as you deal with this situation.”
“Thank you,” Amelia said. “I appreciate that.”
They chatted for a bit longer, then Amelia had another call come in. Seeing her sister’s name, she was hesitant to answer, but she knew Layla would worry if she didn’t.
After saying goodbye to Tracy, Amelia answered Layla’s call.
“Did you leave early?” Layla asked.
“Yes. I wasn’t feeling very good after my time serving coffee, so I came home.”
“Do you feel up to going out on the boat?”
Cole and Annie had a large pontoon party boat, and on nice afternoons following church, they often invited a bunch of thefamily to join them on it. Amelia rarely accepted the invitations, and she wouldn’t on that day either. The chance that Benji would be on the boat was high, and she just didn’t want to face him yet.
“I don’t think I will this time.”
There was a pause, then Layla said, “Did you see Ben at church this morning?”
Ben?She’d never thought of him as anything other than Benji. “Yes. I saw that he was there.”
“Did you talk to him?”
“No. He came to get coffee at the café, and Mandy was the one to serve him.”
There was a stretch of silence, as if Layla was waiting for her to continue. Amelia had nothing more to say, however.
