Ben:I know. But I wanted to. Enjoy!
Amelia carefully arranged the food on a plate and carried it to her small living room. She settled onto her couch and tucked her feet beneath her, balancing the plate on her lap.
The chicken burger was still warm, the fries crisp. A perfect Sunday lunch without having to cook or even leave her apartment.
Ben's thoughtfulness touched her in a way she hadn't expected. It was such a simple gesture, but it showed that he was paying attention. That he cared about her comfort and well-being, even when she couldn't join him.
As she took a bite of the burger, savoring the familiar taste, Amelia found herself wondering what Ben was doing now. It was hard not to wish that they were sharing a meal together. However, she’d had her chance and said no.
When she was done eating, she got to her feet to carry her plate into the kitchen. As she put her dishes from breakfast and lunch into the dishwasher and wiped down the counters, she began to feel a familiar weariness.
What she’d done shouldn’t have made her feel tired, but that was just the nature of how things went for her sometimes.
No, not sometimes. Always. And she hated it. Hated it with a passion.
Pain and exhaustion… neither were ever completely gone from her body, and she hated it.
She just wanted her normal life back. Even if she couldn’t skate competitively anymore, she just wanted life to be normal.
Tears pricked at her eyes as she flung the cloth she was using into the sink and headed toward her bedroom. There was nothing more for her to do but give her body what it demanded, which was rest.
Even though she was also experiencing pain, she didn’t bother taking any medication, knowing nothing would ease it away.
In some ways, she thought maybe her skating had prepared her for this life. When she’d skated, she’d experienced pain from falls or other injuries. If she fell, she had been trained to get right back up and keep going, regardless of the pain she might be in from hitting the ice.
The only difference back then had been that the pain would eventually fade, and it would often respond well to pain meds.Now, she just had to endure and hope that the burning pain in her muscles and joints would ease enough that it didn’t overwhelm her.
As she curled up on her bed, stinging tears spilled over. She hadn’t cried in awhile, but right then, she felt so frustrated and depressed over her current state that she didn’t try to stop the tears.
But when the sobs finally calmed, she took several deep breaths and prayed that she could sleep and get a reprieve—even if it was brief—from the pain and depressing thoughts.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ben walked with Luca into the school, eager to see Amelia and find out how she was doing. It had become something of a necessity for him to know how she felt each day.
They were earlier than usual, but she was already seated at the table with her laptop. She glanced up as they approached the desk, her gaze dropping to what he held in his hands.
Smiling, Ben set the iced mocha latte and the bag with a chocolate chip cookie on the table in front of her. “Coffee delivery.”
She gave him a small smile as she reached for the cup. “Thank you. You’re going to spoil me.”
“I don’t think that’s a bad thing,” Ben said.
She took a sip, then let out a sigh. “It’s perfect.”
“How are you feeling today?” he asked.
The pleasure she’d expressed for the coffee melted away, leaving her expression closed off.
“You don’t like being asked that, do you?” Ben said.
“Not really,” she admitted. “It’s just such a loaded question, and there’s no easy answer.”
“I have an idea.” He moved around the table to be closer to her, then lowered himself to the floor. His mother would be horrified to see him sitting on the floor, but he needed to be closer to Amelia’s level.
She turned toward him, her drink cupped in her hands. “What’s your idea?”
“I had a nanny once who had a paper with faces on it. Like smiley faces, except they weren’t all smiling. One was sad. Onewas mad. Another was frustrated. When I got home from school, she’d have me point to the face that best showed how I felt about my day.”
