The stairs were probably the worst part of the building, but at least she didn’t live on the third floor. And she told herself that climbing the stairs was good for her. If she didn’t havethe strength to do anything else, she could count the stairs as exercise.
“Good morning, dear,” a tremulous voice greeted her as she reached the second-floor landing.
Amelia looked up with a smile at the older woman who was standing further down the short hallway, her hands braced on the handles of her walker. “Hi, Miss Gertie. How are you doing?”
“Feeling a bit unsteady,” the older woman said with a sigh. “So, it’s me and Walker today. He’s keeping me upright and mobile, so I’m thankful.”
Gertie was nearing her nineties and was still insistent on living on her own, even though her children and grandchildren had tried to encourage her to move into a place where she’d have more care. Amelia suspected that the older woman’s desire to keep her independence was even stronger than her own.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” Amelia asked as she approached her.
The woman stared at her for a long moment, her gaze dropping to the Bible Amelia held. “What are you doing home so soon? You’re not usually back this early when you go to church.”
Amelia shrugged. “I wasn’t feeling well.”
It was an excuse she’d come to rely on because everyone accepted it without question. After all, her health had become a huge issue in the past couple of years.
“I’m sorry to hear that, dear,” Gertie said. “And no, there’s nothing I need at the moment. My son came by earlier with a load of meals for me, so I’m set for the week.”
“Well, if you do need something, you let me know. I’ll be home for the rest of the day.”
“I’m going to do a couple more laps out here, then I’m going to go in and watch my shows.”
“Talk to you later, then.”
As the woman continued her journey to the end of the hallway, Amelia let herself into her apartment. As the door shut behind her, she leaned back against it and let out a long sigh.
Her apartment was the only place where she felt completely comfortable. She’d decorated it to her tastes, and it was rare that anyone other than her parents and siblings came to visit. Even Lexi, her former coach and the wife of one of her uncles, never came by.
Of course, that had more to do with Amelia distancing herself from Lexi than it did with Lexi not wanting to see her. They still saw each other at church and at family gatherings, but their relationship had changed when Amelia’s skating career had fallen apart.
When things had started to go downhill, Lexi hadn’t been able to figure out why Amelia couldn’t do the elite jumps she’d once done with ease. They couldn’t blame it on a growth spurt, so Lexi had thought it was something Amelia wasn’t doing right.
But Amelia had been trying her best, unable to understand any more than Lexi why she fell doing the jumps and spins that had once come so easily to her. All she’d known was that her body was no longer doing what she needed it to do.
She’d suddenly begun to feel exhausted all the time. No matter how much she slept, she never felt completely refreshed.
Then there had been the pain. At first, she’d thought it was because she’d over-exerted herself with her training. Her life was dominated by physical activity, so pain wasn’t exactly an uncommon thing for her. Falls. Landing a jump wrong. Anyof it could lead to aches and pains. However, it was always temporary.
Until it wasn’t.
When she’d had pain for no reason and it had never gone away completely, she’d begun to wonder what was going on.
Her joints, her muscles, her nerves… all of it hurt. One run-through of her short program would leave her feeling completely drained, and completing her free skate had become an impossibility.
By the time they’d realized she wasn’t getting better, the strain between her and Lexi had felt insurmountable. When the decision was made for her to retire, Amelia had withdrawn completely, spending time only with her immediate family. And it was still how she preferred to live her life, though she had casual contact with people at the church.
Amelia pushed away from the door and went to her bedroom. She put her purse and Bible on the small table in the corner of the room, then went to her closet to change out of her church clothes into the clothes she preferred when she was home. They were comfortable whether she was trying to do a few chores around the apartment or falling asleep while watching television or reading.
As she pulled on the stretchy shorts and oversized t-shirt, Amelia didn’t look into the full-length mirror on the closet door. These days, dwelling on her reflection was something she avoided if at all possible.
She sank down on the couch with her phone and opened one of the apps she used to chat with people.
The demands her skating career had put on her life had left precious little time for friends, and after she’d been forced toretire, she’d been too focused on her health to cultivate any friendships.
However, over the past year, she had managed to strike up a friendship with someone who was part of an online group of people who were dealing with similar health issues. Tracy had become a good friend, though Amelia hadn’t shared all the details of her life with her yet.
Sometimes Amelia felt guilty for hiding her identity, but she didn’t want the knowledge of who she’d been to factor into their friendship. Though they’d started out just sharing things about their health, they’d since talked about pretty much everything going on in their lives, so she knew it was just a matter of time before she told Tracy about her past.
