He tilted his head, then nodded. “I think it is.”
“So this is just us as friends going out, right?”
His hesitation filled her with both hope and dread. “And what if I’d like this to be more than just friends going out?”
“So it would be a date?” She hated to put it so bluntly, but she needed to be sure.
He straightened. “Yes. I’d like it to be.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Amelia said, though it took considerable effort to say those words.
“Why not?” Ben asked with a frown.
“Why not? Really?” Amelia sighed heavily. “My life is a bit of a mess at the moment, and your life… Well, your life isn’t here.”
Ben looked away, his expression going distant for a moment before he looked back at her. “Then let’s just go as friends.”
Amelia pressed her lips together, caught in a whirlpool of conflicting emotions. She wanted to go—of course she did—but the idea of spending more time with Ben while trying to maintain boundaries felt like walking a tightrope. A tightrope she wasn't sure she had the energy to navigate.
"I don't know, Ben," she said finally. "Even as friends, it's…"
"Complicated?" he offered.
"Yes." She looked down at her hands, noticing how tightly she was clasping them together. "It's complicated."
Ben moved closer, kneeling down next to her chair to better meet her gaze. "Look, I know you're going through a lot right now. But maybe an evening out would be good for both of us. No pressure, just a show and maybe dinner beforehand. If you're feeling tired or in pain, we can leave at any time."
Amelia's heart skipped at his nearness. She could smell his cologne—something woodsy and clean that mixed with the scent of the workout he’d just finished in the gym with the clinic.
"I just…" She paused, trying to collect her scattered thoughts. "I don't want to end up getting hurt," she finally admitted. "I'm just not sure I can handle that right now."
"Fair enough," Ben said, the warmth in his eyes fading slightly as he stood back up. "The offer stands if you change your mind."
Amelia nodded, feeling a wave of relief mixed with regret wash over her. "Thank you for understanding."
"Of course." He glanced toward where Luca stood near the doorway leading outside, his attention on his phone. “I should probably go.”
As he walked away, Amelia stared at her laptop, the words on the screen blurring.
Had she made a mistake? Had she been too cautious? Too protective of herself?
She’d already had heartbreak after being involved with Ben. Last time it had been of her own making. This time, however, it would be Ben who broke her heart when he ended things.
And he would end things. Sooner or later, he’d get tired of having to work around the restrictions her body placed on her life.
She couldn’t open herself up to the pain that she was sure would inevitably come. Or worse, she’d have to watch Ben grow to resent her. He’d probably stick with her in the long run, but he wouldn’t be happy.
How could he be? She wasn’t.
Slowly, Amelia reached out and closed the laptop before leaning over to unplug it from the wall outlet. She gathered up her things and left the table to go to the office for the last hour of her workday.
And she tried her hardest to put the interaction with Ben behind her. She wanted to forget the disappointment she’d seen in his beautiful green eyes.
She hoped against hope that she hadn’t made the wrong decision. Her feelings were such a mess that she didn’t have any idea whether she had or not.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Ben threw punches at the bag in the gym at the rec center on the estate, trying to work off his frustration and anger at himself.
