Flipping past that one, she landed on her latest sketch, but it wasn’t a skating costume. It was a wedding dress. The one she hoped she could wear one day.
Looking up, she stared into the distance, seeing in her mind the smile that Ben would give her when—if—he saw her in that dress.
Amelia smiled as she looked down at the sketch again.
Was she jumping the gun? Maybe.
But part of what she’d talked to Mrs. Simmons about had been her fears of what a relationship might look like for her and Ben, focusing on her reluctance to take more than she might be able to give in a relationship with him.
Unfortunately, the counselor couldn’t give any guarantees that there would be an equal split of give and take. However, she had stressed how important it would be to have strong communication. That it would be very important to buildinga successful relationship, especially when one of them had a chronic illness.
Amelia had already decided that if Ben really wanted to get married one day, they would have to take couples counseling. If he wasn’t willing to do that, then she’d be hesitant to move forward with him.
She didn’t want their second attempt at a relationship to fail. And there were a lot more things to consider this time around. Maybe love would be enough to make it work, but she wasn’t going to count on that alone.
Amelia loved Ben in a way that she might not have been able to imagine as a teenager. And she knew the way Ben loved her now was different as well. He was more intentional in how he cared for her. More determined.
She wanted them to have the best chance at success, and she hoped that Ben would too.
CHAPTER THIRTY
From the helicopter window, Ben watched the landscape rushing beneath them. Fall's vibrant palette had faded, leaving only the somber greens of pine and fir standing sentinel among bare branches that reached skyward like bony fingers.
The first snow of the season had recently settled over the area, dusting the mountains with white. Winter was coming to Serenity, and Ben was finally coming home.
The months away from the estate had been productive but lonely. He hadn’t really felt like socializing the way he might have in the past, so he'd thrown himself into work.
Since he could work from anywhere, he had also done some traveling. It was his hope that one day he’d be able to take Amelia to some of his favorite places on the globe.
As he’d visited them again, Ben had looked at their location through the lens of bringing Amelia to visit and what that might mean with regards to any restrictions her health might put on her.
But regardless of where he’d been, every day he'd waited for that text from Amelia. The numbers had become a lifeline of sorts. It was his way of knowing how she was doing while still giving her the space she’d asked for.
Some days, the numbers made his heart ache for what she must have been going through. Other days, he was relieved to see she was having a better-than-average day. The emotional number had actually come to carry more weight than the pain and fatigue numbers.
Her state of mind was a good indicator of how she was dealing with her pain and fatigue. There were days when thosenumbers were on the high side, but her emotional number was around a five or a six.
The number had never been lower than a five until that morning three days ago.
He’d hardly believed the 1 was real when her text had appeared on his screen. At first, he’d thought it was an error, and he’d waited to see if a correction text would show up.
When nothing had appeared, Ben had sent back his usual text, along with some extra emojis. He wished that he could have left New York right then, but he’d had to wait until after a meeting that he and Julian had scheduled with the board on Monday morning.
Thankfully, the texts that had arrived from Amelia since Saturday had continued to contain a low emotional number. Usually in the 1 or 2 range.
Ben had wanted to write a long message to Amelia, to tell her how much he loved and missed her and how happy he was that she’d had some sort of emotional breakthrough. But until she broke the silence, he would hold his tongue.
She’d requested time and space, and so he’d honor that until she indicated that she was ready to have a conversation with him.
He hoped that might happen now that he was back at the estate. Originally, he’d planned to only be there for Thanksgiving. However, now that it seemed Amelia had had a breakthrough, he’d made the decision to stay indefinitely. Hopefully, it was a permanent move.
As the helicopter settled on the helipad, Ben could see that they had a small welcoming committee. It was no surprise thatKiara and her and Julian’s three kids were there. All of them bundled up against the chilly late November air.
Ben glanced at his brother as the door to the helicopter was opened. He had a broad smile on his face as he looked toward where his family stood waiting for him.
Julian was the first one out of the helicopter, and he immediately headed toward them. The kids rushed to meet him, and after he’d given each kid a kiss on their head, Julian pulled Kiara into his arms.
As he watched them kiss and then speak quietly with each other, Ben felt a deep longing to have what his brother had with Kiara.
