“You’re welcome.” Brandon took a few backward steps, lifting his hand. “See you around.”
Amelia watched as he turned and jogged toward the stairs. Once he’d disappeared, she went back into the apartment and let the door shut behind her. Setting the bag on the dining table, she opened it and peered inside.
She lifted out the milkshake, and then a closed container. It was always fun to guess what meal Ben had chosen for her when she received these deliveries. Opening the lid of the container, she saw it was a chicken wrap with French fries.
Shortly after Ben had left Serenity, random deliveries began to appear. Or at least they had appeared random at first. It had taken her a while, but eventually she’d seen the pattern.
On the high-fatigue days, a meal would arrive, usually from the deli. On high emotional days, a bouquet of flowers would show up. The high pain days usually brought her a meal or a gift of some sort.
The same teen delivered everything, and Amelia thought perhaps Ben had hired him as his personal errand boy.
It became clear that Ben was not leaving quietly. When she asked him for time and space, Amelia had expected a similar unfolding of events as the last time she’d asked him to leave her.
But Ben, the man, was not giving up in the way that Benji, the teen, had.
She liked to think it was a sign of his maturity that he was supporting her from a distance without infringing on the space she'd requested.
It was also probably partly because he was no longer in Serenity, so he couldn’t take care of her in person. Just days after she'd asked for space, she'd heard via the family grapevine that he’d returned to New York.
Amelia had been relieved and disappointed all at once. Relieved because it removed the possibility of running into him around town, but at the same time, disappointed because she’d miss seeing him.
But now, for the first time since that evening on the boat, Amelia felt hopeful about a relationship with Ben. At the very least, she was able to consider the whole situation with a much clearer mind.
The next morning, Amelia got out of bed and began to prepare for her Saturday. Her night hadn’t been great, but that wasn’t unexpected.
She was learning to take the pain and fatigue more in stride. Now that she’d gotten to where she’d finally accepted her diagnosis, she was taking the steps to manage the symptoms better.
Previously, she’d dealt with the symptoms with a heart full of resentment. Acceptance hadn’t been something she was interested in.
After putting on a load of laundry, Amelia made herself a cup of coffee. Cupping it in her hands, she wandered over to the sliding glass balcony door. Pushing aside the curtain covering it, she saw that the gray dreariness from the previous day was still hanging on.
She let the curtain fall back into place, then went to sit on the couch. After setting the mug on the table, she pulled her phone from the pocket of her baggy sweatpants.
Once she had her text conversations with Ben up on her screen, Amelia sat for a moment, as she did each day, taking stock of herself.
She tapped out the numbers for her pain and fatigue—4-5—but then she paused as she considered what number to use for her emotional state.
She’d never felt so at peace before, so after a moment, she added the number, using the lowest digit they’d agreed to on the 1-10 scale.
A smile crossed her face as she stared at the number.
4-5-1
She had no idea how Ben might react to it, but she thought he’d be happy.
Picking up her mug, she remembered the card that was tucked into the Bible on her nightstand. At the end of theirsession the previous day, Mrs. Simmons had given her a new notecard with more verses to read each day.
These verses were different from the previous ones. The first ones had shown that even David had experienced moments of wondering where God was in his suffering.
These new verses were more hopeful. And one in particular had resonated with her.
Psalm 34:1.
I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
Any thought of praising the Lord had been impossible over the past two years. She hadn’t wanted to think of praising the Lord.
But now, for the first time, she wanted to praise Him. To trust that He had a plan. A way forward for her.
