She savored each bite, knowing these peaceful moments might be their last once she shared everything with him.
As they finished their dessert, the sun began its final descent, painting the sky in brilliant shades of orange and pink.
Ben stood and offered his hand to her. "Let's move to the bow.”
Amelia took it and allowed him to pull her to her feet. She grabbed the duffle and then followed him along the narrow passage to the front of the boat.
The lights on the boat had come on, casting a circle of soft illumination on them as they sat down on the comfortable cushions covering the bench seats. Ben leaned back, stretching his legs out to rest his feet on the low table in front of them.
Scooting back, Amelia settled herself at his side. She moved her legs to sit cross-legged, the bag on her other side, a heavy weight against her thigh.
As the boat drifted gently, the sound of water lapping against the hull was calming. Amelia hadn’t spent a lot of time on boats, but there was something about being out on the water that was soothing.
When Ben took her hand, she linked her fingers with his and held on. Even with the ever-present thrum of pain in her body, this was one of the most perfect evenings she’d had in a long time. It was just too bad she was going to have to ruin it.
“I talked to Julian,” Ben said, breaking the silence. “About your test results.”
Amelia tensed. “Oh?”
“He said he didn’t know if you’d gotten your results or not,” Ben said, his thumb moving gently across the back of her hand. “And that the only person who would know was you. I just want you to know that if you want me to be there with you when you get them, let me know.”
He’d opened the door for her to broach the test results, and yet Amelia hesitated. She had been determined to share them with him, but it was hard to say the words.
She needed to, though. This wasn’t something she could just ignore, especially if Ben was still so determined to pursue her.
“I have the results,” she blurted out.
“You do?” Ben sat straight up and turned to face her. “When did you get them?”
“A couple of days ago.”
“And?” Ben still had a hold of her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “What did they say? Did you get some answers?”
“Yes.” Amelia sat still for a moment, then let go of his hand to pull the duffle bag into her lap. “They gave me a binder with everything in it.”
Ben leaned close, his arm pressing against her shoulder. “What did it say?”
Amelia rested the binder in her lap, her hands gripping the edges of it. “I’d rather that you take the binder home and read through it yourself. I’m still trying to figure it all out myself.”
“But if I have the binder, how can you read through it?”
“I’ve read through most of it already. Plus, they sent me a PDF of it,” she said. “So I can read that.”
Ben shifted to face her fully. “Then I’m going to take the binder, and I’m going to read it. But it’s not because I want to know whether or not I want to be with you. I’ll read it because I want to know how to help you.”
“Ben,” Amelia said with a sigh. “I don’t think you’re being realistic here. My life… I just don’t think it’s conducive to a relationship.”
“Are you saying that because you don’t want a relationship with me?” he asked. “Or is it because you think you’re sparing me?”
Amelia shifted so they were facing each other. “Have you really thought about it, Ben? Like, really thought what being married to someone with a chronic illness would be like?”
She didn’t hesitate to use the word married because she knew that Ben didn’t just want a casual relationship. Even back in high school, their ultimate plan had been marriage, and she assumed that was the case now.
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s start with sex,” she said, grateful that the lights were dim enough that he hopefully couldn’t see the rise of heat in her cheeks. She decided that she had to lay it out. All of it. “Have you considered what it might be like to have a wife who struggles with pain and fatigue? What sort of love life you might have?”
Ben nodded. “Ihavethought about it, and even though I didn’t know exactly what you had, I had enough information to do some research. There are couples out there who deal with chronic illness in their relationship, and they make it work.”
