“There are no guarantees,” Tracy agreed. “However, Ben sounds like he’s a good man.”
“He is. That’s why he deserves better than me and my situation.”
"And yet he seems determined to make his own decisions about what he deserves," Tracy pointed out.
Amelia stared down at her water glass, watching the light catch on its surface. She'd been making decisions for Ben since high school, hadn't she? Breaking up with him then so they could focus on their futures. Pushing him away now to spare him from her reality.
"Maybe that's what tonight is about," Amelia said quietly. "I need to tell him everything and let him decide for himself."
"That's all anyone can ask for," Tracy replied. "Complete honesty. Then whatever choice he makes is informed."
Amelia bit her lip, weighing Tracy's words. Her friend had been such a support since they'd met in that online group. Unlike everyone else in her life, Tracy truly understood what living with chronic illness meant.
"You're right," Amelia said finally. "I'll tell him tonight. Everything."
"Good. Let me know how it goes. I'm here if you need to talk afterwards."
After ending the call, Amelia stared at the clock. Three hours until Ben would be there to pick her up. Three hours to prepare herself for a conversation. Or maybe she’d just take him the binder and let him read through it.
That would explain things better than she could. She was still trying to wrap her mind around everything herself.
Rachel had emailed her a copy of everything that was in the binder, so she’d still have something to refer to even if she gave Ben the binder.
With a sigh, Amelia got off the couch and returned to the kitchen. She still had a few things she wanted to get done before Ben picked her up.
When the buzzer sounded three hours later, announcing Ben’s arrival at the front door, Amelia pressed the button to let him in, then picked up her bag from the floor beside the door.
She hadn’t wanted to climb onto the boat with the binder in hand, so she’d found a floral duffle style bag to put it in. She’d added her purse and also a sweater because the last time she’d been on the boat, once the sun had gone down, it had gotten a bit chilly.
She’d just slid the strap of the duffel bag onto her shoulder when Ben rapped on her door. With butterflies in her stomach, Amelia opened it
“Hey there,” Ben said, a smile lighting up his face. “Ready to go?”
“I am,” she said, then stepped out into the hall with him.
“What have you got there?” he asked, gesturing to her bag.
“I’ve just brought my purse, a sweater, and a couple of other things.”
“Let me carry it for you.”
When he reached for it, she didn’t resist. Though she did smile a bit at the sight of him walking along the hallway with the flowery bag bumping against his hip.
Luca was waiting at the SUV for them, and he opened the front passenger-side door for her as they approached. It was a lovely day, and Amelia was glad that she’d decided to accept Ben’s invitation to spend time on the boat with him.
She’d specifically taken it easy that day so that she’d hopefully have the energy to enjoy the evening, even though it wasn’t going to be a physically demanding time.
When they reached the private marina where Ben kept his boat, he parked the SUV, then the three of them walked to the slips where his boat waited.
The marina was busy with lots of other people out enjoying the nice weather. Ben lifted his hand in greeting to a few, making Amelia wonder if he knew them or was just being friendly.
When Amelia glanced at Ben, she noticed his relaxed posture, the easy way he navigated the marina. He seemed completely at home there, just as he did everywhere. That had always beenone of the things she'd admired about him—his ability to fit in anywhere, with anyone.
"Here we go," Ben said as they arrived at the boat.
Luca stepped aboard first, then Ben followed, turning back to offer his hand to Amelia. She hesitated for just a moment before placing her palm against his. His grip was warm and secure as he helped her onto the deck.
Once on the boat, Ben set her bag down on one of the cushioned seats, then moved to help Luca with the preparations to leave the marina. Amelia settled herself on the seats at the back of the boat, watching as the men moved with practiced efficiency, checking gauges and untying ropes.
