“Yup.”
Shotgun turned towards me, eyes still covered by sunglasses. “Anything else?”
“No. Well, Lowell did try to star in a porn film once. But couldn’t get it up because the woman was fishy.”
“Was fishy,” Shotgun repeated slowly.
“Yeah. Lowell said she smelled like seven-day-old fish. Rank and rancid.”
“Damn,” Shotgun fell silent again.
“Too much insanity?” I asked finally.
“Nope. Well, your relatives are batshit crazy, no doubt about that. I’m just wondering what it must feel like to be yourself and fuck everyone else.”
“You do know that to some degree.”
“Yeah. But holy crap. I’ve seen and heard some shit, but your family is loco,” Shotgun said.
I bristled. He’d no right to make fun of them, and it wouldn’t work if he did. I’d never give them up for anyone.
“But I like batshit crazy,” he continued. “I’m glad they’re able to be themselves, although I empathise with Lowell. That had to be nasty.” Shotgun began to laugh. “No wonder they wouldn’t bat an eyelid if we got involved.”
“Are you making fun?” I asked, unsure whether to get angry.
Shotgun sobered at once and removed his glasses. “Never. I respect all folks who are true to themselves, and it sounds like your cousins are. Fuck what society or anyone else says. Don’t allow assholes to beat you down and make you miserable. Although I’ve never heard of a male burlesque dancer.”
“Yeah, they’re rare, which makes Stafford a hot commodity. Stafford is in demand. He’s got a damn busy schedule between strip shows and the burlesque.”
“I bet he has. Your brother is a butt model?”
“Thatch has the perfect butt. You know that new jeans ad? The one where you can see a sliver of waist, and the guy holds his hat by his leg. That’s Thatch. His ass has been plastered all over the country, even internationally.”
“Okay,” Shotgun nodded. “Nice.”
“You’re having second thoughts about this.”
“No, not me. Rain is a little conservative. It’s the scientist in him. Ain’t saying he’ll judge them; he won’t, and he’ll probably love them because they’re your family. But you won’t get Rain hiring a naked butler or starring in a porn film. In fact, Rain might question them relentlessly.” Shotgun groaned. “Who am I kidding? Rain will pin them down and subject them to an inquisition. He likes to know the ins and outs of shit. It’s why Rain’s brilliant at his job; he has to ask and know everything.”
“We’re a package deal.”
“Same as Rain and his sisters and me and my brothers. If we can accept your craziness, you have to accept ours.”
“Then shall we arrange a date?” I asked. “When is Rain going to be here?”
“He’s already here. He’s house hunting and starts the new job in three weeks.”
“Oh damn, I offered to help,” I muttered, slapping my head.
“He’s fine. However, Rain hates such matters. If it has a bed, bathroom, and food, he doesn’t feel the need to fill a place with crap. He’s got what’s needed,” Shotgun said with approval.
“Neither of you knows how to build a home, do you?”
“No,” Shotgun stated, and I rolled my eyes.
“Good job! I love shit like that.”
“All yours, babe,” Shotgun replied. His phone beeped, and he looked down and frowned. “Sorry, I’ve gotta go. The ethical leather delivery is coming early.”
