“Get out of here!” I throw a pen at her as she walks out the door, then slump back in my chair.
I can do this.
I can be around Liam Pitz and do my job effectively.
I can be around Liam Pitz without caring what he does in his personal time.
I can be around Liam Pitz and try not to see my daughter in his face.
Let’s see how long that lasts.
A few hours later, I wrapped up my day and picked up my daughter from the nursery, and we went home to our apartment in the city. We live in the same building as my parents on Central Park West.
When Seraphina was born, I decided to move out of their penthouse, but I wanted to stay close, so I accepted the unit a few floors down from them as a gift. I’m not one to take handouts, but after months of their insistence, I finally accepted the home under one condition—no more handouts.
Seraphina and I spend most of our time at my parents’, but it’s nice to have a space of our own. Even though my parents were shocked by my pregnancy, she is the apple of their eyes, and of course, she’s spoiled rotten by them, but I’m trying to raise her as normally as I can.
After grabbing something to eat for myself and feeding Seraphina her dinner, I gave her a bath, which is her favorite. Now we’re in her room, and I’m reading her a bedtime story. She choseGuess How Much I Love You. It’s one of her favorites. Sometimes, she even wants me to read it twice.
Not tonight though. She tends to get chatty at night, and tonight is one of those nights. It’s like she has to purge whatever energy she has left from the day.
“I pwayed trucks.”
“Did you play with a friend?”
“Pwayed with Efan.”
“You mean Ethan?”
“Yes, Efan.”
“Right, okay.” I just smile and nod this time, not bothering to correct her. Besides, it’s cute.
Just like she did as a baby, she likes to hold pieces of my hair while we chat and cuddle. She twirls it so tight sometimes that I get knots, but I don’t mind because I know it won’t last forever. It’s the little moments like this that make all the worries of my day go away. The love that I have for her is indescribable.
She pauses her story about trucks and sits up. “Mommy, I need ball.”
I twist my body to see if it’s behind me, and luckily, it is. She can’t sleep without the pink football stuffed toy that Aaron got her when she was an infant. “Got it.” I reach over the guardrail on her bed and hand it to her, and then she tucks it close to her chest.
She lies back down, takes a piece of my hair again, and continues her mumbled story.
I have one arm tucked under the pillow, and my other gently rubs her back. Her little pajamas have pink footballs on them too. They’re from my dad. I’ve tried teddy bears, baby dolls, and blankies, but she cannot go to sleep unless she has her football in her hands, and she loves her football pajamas. Her two favorite guys are my dad and Aaron.
Throughout my pregnancy and when she was born, Aaron stood by my side. He was supportive in every way a best friend could be, and he loves my little girl. And though Aaron and I have never been together romantically, we are often together. To an outsider, we look like a family when we’re in public. He’s even been called her father, and he doesn’t correct them. Instead, he just says thank you. I also remain quiet, not wanting to explain, and let him assume that role, but at home or at the facility, he’s Uncle Aaron.
He’s had his share of problems this year. He was injured last season, and it was career-ending. Luckily, his rehab progressed quickly, and even though he’s no longer able to play football, he is still involved in sports. He recently took a job as an agent with one of the top agencies here in New York, so we still get to see him all the time. Right now, though, he’s out of town, working with new clients, and it’s the NHL playoff season, so he’s been traveling around, watching the games of some of his athletes.
I’m sure he’s heard about Liam’s trade, and I’m kind of surprised that he hasn’t asked me about it yet. It’s been all over the news.
Seraphina’s eyes start to get heavy, and she yawns, pausing her story about Ethan and the trucks. Everything that weighs on me about how to handle and work with Liam eases when I watch my little girl fall asleep. The moments with her, being present with my baby, are what give me purpose and pure happiness.
I lie next to her for a few more minutes to make sure she’s fully sleeping and study her little face. She really does look so much like her dad, and my stomach clenches. I just don’t understand how he couldn’t want to be a part of this beautiful baby’s life. She’s my world. Even through the hardest times, when she was a baby and not sleeping through the night, I was grateful that I’d been given this gift of being her mama.
I lean down and kiss her on the forehead and breathe in her sweet scent. Her dark brown, silky hair is starting to get a little wave to it, just like Liam has, more and more every day.
I continue watching her as she sleeps, peaceful and content. When her breathing falls into a rhythm where I know she’s out for the night, I brush my fingers through her silky, soft hair and tuck her close to me because I have a feeling our world is about to change.
CHAPTER
