And me? I don’t hear a damn thing.
Not over the pounding in my chest.
The confessionals sit in shadow. Dark wood. Carved crosses. They watch me. Beckon. Judge. They know I have sins to spill.
I stare at the booth. The cross on my chest feels heavier this week. Maybe it’s time to tell the old man the truth.
Father taps my leg. Everyone’s standing. When did Mass end?
I nod to him, he knows I’ll be out soon. That’s the advantage of Granddad running the church. If we stay behind, Father assumes we’re with him.
Today, I will be. I’ll tell him I’m falling for a girl from the enemy’s side.
Something stirs a war between guilt and truth.
When the church empties, I walk to the confessional.
Not for forgiveness. For honesty. I need to say it out loud.
The wooden door creaks as I slide inside the darkness.
Silence. Then the soft scrape of Granddad shifting behind the grate.
He never starts. So I do.
“Forgive me, Father, for I’ve sinned.”
Silence. My hands shake.
“I’ve touched someone I shouldn’t have. More than once. I think about her all the time. Dream about her. I’ve kissed her. I’ve sinned with her. And I’m drowning in her.”
A pause.
“She’s not one of us.” I close my eyes. “She’s an O’Brien.”
The words split something inside me. Saying them makes it real.
Granddad says nothing. Maybe he knows I’m not done.
“I thought I could stop. Get her out of my system. But it’s not power or sex anymore. It’s something else. She changes who I am.”
The air chills.
“She hates her family, but she’s still one of them. If anyone finds out…” My voice drops. “I don’t know how to stop.”
Silence.
Then Granddad’s voice, calm and cutting. “Do you love her?”
My heart stumbles. “I don’t know,” I whisper and it’s the truth.
“You will,” he says. “And when you do, you’ll know what must be done.”
The curtain slides shut. I stay there a moment, unsure if he’s waiting.
Then I step out and he’s right there, smiling.
“Nothing will be said to my son,” he says. “But remember, when the time comes, I’ll stand with you, the same way I did for your mother.” His hand lands on my shoulder. “I see the answer in your eyes. Make sure it’s a war worth starting.”
