As Knight turned to leave, Brynn’s voice stopped him.“Hey.”He looked back.“If… if you’re a match,” she said, her voice smaller than before, “does it hurt?Giving up a kidney?”
Knight’s expression softened.“From what I understand, yeah, it hurts like hell for a while.But you heal.And maybe that can be the start of me making up for missing a lifetime of memories with you.”
Brynn nodded once, then looked away again, but not before I caught the flicker of something in her eyes.Not quite trust, not even close.But maybe the beginning of understanding.I hadn’t been lying when I told Rhys about Brynn’s intelligence.I could tell she was trying to size Rhys up, to decide if she believed him or thought he was full of shit.Then she shrugged and turned her head to gaze out the window.
Knight and Ada left, the door closing quietly behind them.I sank back into the chair beside Brynn’s bed, suddenly exhausted.
“You OK?”I asked her after a moment.
She shrugged.“Whatever.He seems like an asshole.”
I smiled despite myself.“He can be.But he’s here.He didn’t have to be.”
She didn’t answer, just stared at the door where Knight had disappeared.Finally, she said, “His sister seems nice.”
“She is,” I agreed.“She always was.”
“And those other guys?With the motorcycle vests?”
“His club brothers, I guess.”I tried to keep my voice neutral.“I don’t know them.”
Brynn fiddled with her IV line.“They looked scary.”
“Yeah.”
“But they came with him.For him.”She said this like she was working something out.“Like they’ve got his back or whatever.”
I nodded, understanding what she was getting at.“I think they do.I think that’s his family now.”
She fell silent again, and I let her process.After a while, she looked at me, those piercing blue eyes so like her father’s fixing me with a gaze too old for her eleven years.
“Mom?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Did you make the right choice?Bringing him back?”
I stared at the closed door, thinking of the man who had just left.It was hard to think of him as anything other than the man I’d known eleven years ago.Not quite a stranger.Something in between.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.“I hope so.”
As I sat beside my daughter’s bed, listening to the steady beep of the monitors, I wondered if I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life or scored our only salvation.With Rhys back, nothing would ever be the same again.I had to wonder if his return would be a blessing or the second biggest heartache I’d ever experienced.
Chapter Four
Lavender
I leaned against the doorframe, watching Ada and Brynn like they existed in some parallel universe where my daughter actually opened up to people.Brynn’s face had lost that tight, defensive look she’d worn since Rhys -- no, Knight, I needed to start thinking of him as Knight -- walked in two hours ago.Instead she leaned forward slightly, her IV tube shifting as she gestured with her free hand, explaining something about a murder case that apparently fascinated both her and Ada.The hospital room’s fluorescent lights cast shadows that softened the edges of my daughter’s face, making her look younger, more vulnerable than her usual guarded self.
“No way!You listened to that episode too?”Brynn’s eyes widened, her pale blue eyes sparking with genuine interest.Her eyes were the same shade as Rhys’.“Did you catch the part where the detective missed the blood spatter pattern on the ceiling?”
Ada nodded eagerly, her chestnut hair falling forward.She’d pulled her plastic chair right up to Brynn’s bedside, making herself eye-level with my daughter instead of looming over her.“Yes!And the podcast host totally called it before the police did.That’s why I love this podcast!”
My chest tightened.In eleven years, I’d never seen Brynn connect with an adult this quickly.She built walls around herself, reinforced them with sarcasm and eye rolls.But here she sat, actually engaging, her shoulders relaxing incrementally with each exchange.Ada had always been a peacemaker.She’d tried to keep in touch with me…after… but the memories had been so painful and I’d had so much to deal with I hadn’t encouraged her and after a while she’d backed off.
“Mom won’t let me listen to the really gory ones,” Brynn said, shooting me a quick glance that held less resentment than usual.“Says they’ll give me nightmares.”
Ada smiled, not looking my way but clearly aware of my hovering presence.“Your mom’s just looking out for you.But maybe I could screen some of the less graphic episodes and recommend the good ones?”
