“I’m here, baby.”
“Whatever I did, you know, after the trial.Whatever I did to push you away from me, I’m sorry.”
“You know better than that, Lavender.You had no say in my choices.I chose to break things off with you, and I did it so it took good.So you wouldn’t come back to that place.”
Again, I heard her sob in a breath.“Rhys.”
I needed to get back on point.We could talk about this when I had her in my arms.Whether or not she wanted me long term, she needed me in the short.So I would hold her again.I would give her all the comfort I could.All she would take.
I cleared my throat.“Cincinnati Children’s Hospital,” I repeated, dropping a text to Knuckles.I needed to let him know I’d be gone an extended period of time.Lana Thompson, the lawyer who worked with the club’s women’s shelter, Haven, could take care of my parole stuff.“I’ll be there as quick as I can.”
“Really?”The hope in her voice cut like a knife.“You’ll come?You promise?”
“Of course, I’ll fucking come,” I snapped, then immediately regretted it.“Sorry.I just… of course, I’m coming, Lavender.She’s my daughter.”The words felt foreign yet undeniably right.
“Thank you,” she whispered.“I didn’t know if… After the way things ended between us, I wasn’t sure you’d even want to know about her.”
Guilt slammed into me.What could I say?That I’d pushed her away to protect her?That I’d convinced myself she deserved better than waiting for a convicted felon?That I’d been a fucking coward who couldn’t face the possibility of her rejection so I’d lashed out first?If I told the strict truth, I thought the latter might be the closest to the truth.I was a fucking coward and paid the price of not knowing my daughter.
“I didn’t leave you a choice,” I said finally.“I promise we will talk about the past later.Let’s concentrate on Brynn right now.But you and me will have a very long talk.”
“OK.”
“Now, tell me.What’s her condition right now?Stable?”
“Yes.But she’s weak, Rhys.So weak.They’re keeping an eye on her blood tests and will tell me their plan tomorrow.”
“Can you let her doctor know I’m on my way?”
“Yes.I’ll tell the nurse as soon as I get off the phone with you.”
I needed to go but I couldn’t make myself.I was greedy for every second I could get.“What’s she like, Lavender?”
She sighed and I could almost see her smile when she spoke next.“She has your eyes.And your stubborn streak.And your brain, God help me.”She let out a watery laugh.“She’s reading college-level books and writing her own computer programs at eleven.”
Something fierce and protective roared to life inside me.I hadn’t known about Brynn, hadn’t been there for her first breath or first word or first day of school.But I’d be damned if I wouldn’t be there now when she needed me most.
“I’m going to take care of this,” I said, the promise heavy and absolute.“I’ll be there as soon as I can.Text me the exact hospital details and her room number.”
“I will,” Lavender said.“And Rhys?”
“Yeah?”
“She doesn’t know about you yet.Not really.I mean, she knows you’re her father, but… I didn’t want to get her hopes up about meeting you until I knew for sure.”
The words stung, but I understood.“What have you told her about me?”
“The truth.That you were the smartest person I ever knew.That you loved me once.That you went away before I knew I was pregnant.”
Not the whole truth, then.Not the part where I was a criminal who’d chosen a quick payday over a life with her.Not the part where I’d deliberately crushed her heart to keep her from wasting her life waiting for me.
“Right,” I said, throat tight.“Anything else I should know before I get there?”
“Just… she’s scared.Even though she pretends not to be.And she’s angry sometimes.At everything.The situation.Me.The doctors.The world.But mostly…” Lavender hesitated.“Mostly, I think she’s angry at you.For not being here.For not knowing you.”
I closed my eyes briefly.“She has every right to be.”
“I never talked badly about you,” Lavender said quickly.“I swear.I’d never do that.But kids fill in the blanks themselves, you know?”
