The words tasted bitter on my tongue.My carefully constructed calm, the one I’d maintained through every test, every setback since finding Brynn, finally cracked.The strain of the past weeks, the sleepless nights, the constant fear that I wouldn’t be enough to save her, all of it crashed through me like a wrecking ball.My insides felt like someone had sliced me open and disemboweled me.
“They’re looking at my record, Knuckles.Cyber crimes.Violence.The kill in prison.And now my connection to the club because everyone there is an ex-con.They think I’m manipulating Lavender.Like I forced her to let me help Brynn?How the fuck does that even make any Goddamned sense?”I slammed my palm against the wall, careful to use my uninjured hand this time.“Like I haven’t paid enough for my mistakes already.I pled guilty, Knuckles!I took responsibility and took my punishment like a Goddamned man and now I’m still fuckin’ payin’ for my fuckin’ mistakes!”I didn’t yell or raise my voice but no one could miss my agitation and anger.
Knuckles put a steadying hand on my shoulder, his grip firm enough to anchor me back to reality.“Breathe, brother.Getting yourself worked up won’t help her.”
I sucked in a ragged breath, feeling the tension coil through my body like a live wire.“I can’t lose her.Fear of losing them is consuming me, Knuckles.”The confession felt like ripping off a particularly deep scab.It hurt like a motherfucker, but once free of it, maybe fixing the wound could start.
“You won’t lose either of them,” Knuckles said, with the simple certainty of a man who’d never accepted defeat in his life.“Not because of this.I can help with the meeting.”
“I lost control once before,” I confessed, my voice dropping to a whisper.“When I pushed Lavender away.Thought I was doing the right thing, protecting her from what I’d become.But all I did was leave them both vulnerable.And now my past might make Brynn suffer.”
Knuckles studied my face, his expression unreadable.Then, with a decisive nod, he pulled out his phone.“Lana Thompson.”
I blinked at the non-sequitur.“What?”
“Lana Thompson,” he repeated, pulling out his phone.“She’s our best, quickest play here.”His thumb was already swiping across the screen, pulling up contacts.“Hospital committees are like any other bureaucracy -- they fold when someone comes at them with the right combination of legal expertise and pure intimidation.Lana might be family law instead of malpractice, but she’s got pure intimidation in spades.”
Hope sparked in my chest.If I’d been thinking clearly, I’d have already thought to call her.“You think she’ll help?”
“For you?For a kid who needs her father’s kidney while some piece of shit bureaucrat with a God complex is holding up the process?Fuck yeah, she will.I doubt she’ll even grumble about not being licensed to practice in Ohio.”His mouth curved into a wolfish grin.“She’d crawl through broken glass for a chance to take this on.Tells me exactly how distressed you are you hadn’t already thought of her.”
“You’re sure about this?”I asked, needing his certainty to cling to when my own confidence was in tatters.“If she won’t help with this, it’s very likely Brynn will be on dialysis for the rest of her life.”
“Brother, when have I ever steered you wrong?”He clapped my shoulder.“Besides, you think I’d let some hospital committee stand between you and Brynn?Between a brother and his child?That’s not how this family works.”
Family.The word settled into my chest, warm and solid.The club had been my family for years, but now that family had expanded to include Lavender and Brynn.And like any family worth its salt, they were closing ranks around us when we needed them most.
“Make the call,” I said, straightening my shoulders.
As Knuckles dialed, I glanced back through the partially open door to Brynn’s room.Lavender had taken a seat beside Hannah, their heads bent together in quiet conversation.Ada had moved to stand guard at Brynn’s side, adjusting the soft blue blanket someone had been thoughtful enough to bring and brushing a stray lock of hair off Brynn’s face.
Watching them all together, my daughter, her mother, my sister, my brothers, all of it overwhelmed me.This was what I’d been fighting for since the moment I’d discovered Brynn existed.This patchwork family, bound by blood and choice and fierce, unyielding love.
The committee could look at my tattoos, my record, my time in Terre Haute.They could judge me for the man I once was.But they couldn’t see what mattered.That I would burn the whole world to ash if that’s what it took to save my daughter.And with my family at my side, I might not have to go quite that far.
I stepped back into Brynn’s room, leaving Knuckles in the hallway to make his call.Lavender looked up as I entered, a question in her eyes that I answered with the slightest nod.Yeah, we had a plan.Or at least, we were working on one, though Knuckles had the right of it.No way would Lana turn this down.She loved taking down assholes who were assholes for no good reason.I settled against the window ledge, watching as the women took care of each other while my brothers watched over everyone.Family should be this way.Some of the calm I tried to surround myself with settled over me once again.Yeah.We could do this.
Knuckles opened the door and stepped back into the room with a satisfied nod, his large frame filling the doorway.“She’ll be here in three hours,” he announced, sliding his phone into his back pocket.“When Lana walks into that room, those committee members will be pissing themselves by minute five of that fuckin’ meeting.”
I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.Three hours.The committee meeting was at four.It would be close, but Lana would have time to review everything before we faced them.
Inside the room, Hannah had moved to sit next to Lavender on the vinyl chairs that lined the wall.Dr.Patel had gotten permission for as many of us to be here as we wanted, provided we didn’t get in the way of the staff caring for her.The two women’s shoulders brushed as they leaned toward each other, Hannah’s voice too low for me to catch.Whatever she was saying made Lavender’s fingers loosen their death grip on the edge of Brynn’s blanket, though her eyes never left our daughter’s pale face.
I’d never seen Lavender look so hollowed out with worry.Yet still, somehow, she stood strong.Still fighting.Motherhood had carved strength into her that I’d never had the privilege to witness developing.So help me God, nothing could make me miss one more second.
Brynn stirred slightly in her sleep, her blue hair so stark against that white pillow.Her intelligence and fierce spirit made it easy to forget sometimes that she was just a kid.I knew she was scared.Hell, I was scared.But the brave face she put on, the way she took everything they gave her and never complained.Well, not about the tests or the pokes and prods.She accused them of being sadists because they’d tell her to sleep, then promptly wake her up for more tests, but nothing more.Other than terrorizing medical students and residents.Strangely, every attending doctor with students made sure to stop by and look at her case.I kind of thought Brynn looked forward to it because she knew the answers to all the questions posed and took great delight in snarking.
I paced to the window, looking out over the parking lot and street beneath us.The stormy sky outside reflected my mood.
“Knight,” Ada said softly, motioning me over to where she stood by Brynn’s bed.“Come sit down.You’re making everyone nervous with the pacing.”
I gave a petulant grunt but obeyed, dropping into the chair beside Lavender.She immediately reached for my hand, her fingers cool against my skin.I traced my thumb across her knuckles, feeling the delicate bones beneath.For all her newfound strength, she was still so much smaller than me, her frame deceptively fragile looking.
“It’ll be OK,” she whispered, though whether she was reassuring me or herself, I couldn’t tell.Maybe both.
A nurse came in to check Brynn’s vitals, her eyes widening slightly at the collection of roughened, tattooed guys occupying every corner of the room.To her credit, she recovered quickly, moving efficiently around us to do her job.
“How’s she doing?”I asked, my voice rougher than I intended.
