I turned back to Knight, words forming before I fully registered the decision to speak them.“Join me?”The request came out barely above a whisper, vulnerability cracking my voice.
Knight went still, his dark eyes unreadable in the dim room.For a heartbeat, I feared I’d misunderstood what had been building between us these past weeks, the touches that lingered longer each time, the way his gaze followed me when he thought I wouldn’t notice.Even our discussions had really left no room for doubt where we’d been heading.At least, that’s what I thought.
“Are you sure?”he asked, his voice dropping to match mine.
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak again.He crossed the room slowly, as if giving me time to change my mind, until he stood close enough that I could feel the warmth radiating from his body.
“Lavender…” My name sounded like a prayer on his lips.“I don’t expect anything.We’re both exhausted.”
“I know.”I reached for his hand, finding it in the shadows.“I just… I don’t want to be alone right now.And I don’t think you do either.”
His fingers tightened around mine, and he nodded once, a jerky motion that revealed more vulnerability than words could have.I pushed the bathroom door open, and we stepped inside together.
The bathroom had a dimmer on the main light and a timed heating fan in front of the shower.I turned both on, dimming the lights to a comfortable level.
I turned to face Knight.All his many tattoos stood out starkly against his skin.We moved with awkward care around each other, the small space forcing proximity we hadn’t shared in almost twelve years.In my head the situation felt awkward, but my heart was at peace for the first time since he’d left me.
I turned on the shower, letting steam fill the room while we undressed with our backs to each other, as if we were strangers instead of former lovers who’d created a child together.The rustle of clothing hitting tile sounded unnaturally loud.
When I finally stepped under the spray, Knight followed, making the shower stall feel impossibly small with his large form so intimately close.The spray fell in a gentle rain from a large, round head in the center of the shower space.Hot water cascaded over us, washing away days of sweat and grime.For a moment, we simply stood there, letting the heat soak into our tired muscles, the white noise of falling water cocooning us from the world outside.I should have kept my profile to Knight with my arm over my breasts or something, but what would have been the point?He’d seen everything I had.I’d seen him.Granted, I wanted to explore his ink and see exactly how much of his body was tattooed, but why be coy at this point in our relationship?
“Here,” Knight said, reaching for the bottle of shampoo I’d grabbed from the duffel Ada had supplied.“Let me.”
He met my gaze boldly, seeming to will me to relax and let this happen.I knew he meant what he said about not expecting us to do anything other than wash each other, even if I might have lamented that fact.I desperately wanted to let him pull me into his arms and just hold me skin to skin.Not necessarily in a sexual way, but I needed the intimacy.With him.I needed to know there was nothing separating us.I knew I was thinking physically, but I thought metaphorical distance could sometimes be worse than physical.
I stepped closer, closing my eyes and ducking under the spray and into his arms.He looped one arm around my back to hold me close and used his other hand to smooth the shampoo over my hair.With a sigh, he let go of me to work the lather through my hair.Gentle pressure from his fingertips massaged my scalp with a tenderness that made my eyes sting.I leaned into his touch, letting him support my weight as he rinsed the suds away.
“Your turn,” I murmured, taking the soap.I worked it between my palms before reaching for his chest, my hands sliding over the inked skin, relearning the contours that had changed with time and prison.New muscles, new scars, tattoos on nearly every inch of his skin, including his face.But underneath, he was the same man I’d loved nearly all my life.
“I missed you,” he said, so quietly I almost lost it beneath the sound of the shower.“Every fucking day.”
I looked up, water streaming down my face, and found his eyes fixed on mine with an intensity that knocked the breath from my lungs.Slowly, as if approaching a wild animal, he raised one hand to cup my cheek, thumb brushing away a drop of water.Or perhaps it was a tear.
“Can I kiss you?”he asked, his voice rough with emotion.
Instead of answering, I rose on tiptoes, pressing my lips to his.The first contact was hesitant, a question rather than a demand.His arms tightened around me, drawing me closer as the kiss deepened, years of separation dissolved by the press of his mouth against mine.
Heat bloomed low in my belly, a hunger I’d denied for so long I’d almost forgotten it existed.My hands slid up his chest to his shoulders, feeling the power contained in his frame.His kiss grew more insistent, his tongue sweeping inside my mouth with a groan that vibrated through his chest.
He backed me against the shower wall, the cool tile a shock against my heated skin.His hands mapped my body, rediscovering curves that had changed with motherhood, lingering over the stretch marks on my stomach with reverence rather than distaste.
“Christ, Lavender,” he breathed against my neck, “you’re so fucking beautiful.”
I pulled his face back to mine, drinking him in as the water continued to pour over us.His hands slid lower, lifting me slightly, and I wrapped one leg around his waist, seeking closer contact, needing to brush my clit over his cock.
“Bed,” I gasped against his mouth.“Now.”
He reached behind me to shut off the water, then lifted me completely, my legs wrapping around his waist as he carried me from the shower.We didn’t bother with towels, leaving wet footprints across the bathroom floor and onto the carpet as he moved toward the bed.
Knight laid me down with surprising gentleness, his body following mine onto the mattress.Water droplets slid from his hair onto my breasts and belly as he hovered above me, his eyes searching mine one last time.
“Are you sure?”he asked, his voice strained with the effort of restraint.“We’ve been down this road, baby.I don’t have protection.”
I reached up to trace the tattooed lavender on his neck, the symbol he’d carried all these years.“I’m sure,” I whispered.“I have an implant, so we’re good.”I cupped his face in my palm, leaning up to kiss him again.“I want this.I want you.”
The last of his control snapped.His mouth descended on mine, hungry and demanding, tracing his hands over every inch of my skin.I arched beneath him, my body remembering his even after all this time, knowing exactly how perfectly we fit together.
“Can’t believe this is really happenin’.”Knight’s voice was rough, husky in the most erotic way.
