Brynn absorbed this, her gaze flicking between us with that eerie way she had.I now understood why my eyes had always freaked people out even before I got the whites filled in.Because I swear to God, the kid could see straight into a person’s soul.
“Fine,” she said finally, though suspicion still lingered in the set of her jaw.“But I want to see those pictures too.”
“Deal.”Lavender pulled out her phone, the crisis temporarily averted.As she sat beside Brynn, showing her the photos we’d looked at earlier, I moved to the window, giving them space while remaining close enough to hear their soft conversation.
I listened, each anecdote another piece of the puzzle that was my daughter’s life.The science fair projects.The coding club she’d started at her school.The time she’d taken apart the neighbor’s broken router at age nine and fixed it by re-soldering a loose connection.And yes, she’d earned her merit badge by singeing her fingers at least three times before she’d finished.And never gave up.Each story revealed another facet of the remarkable person she’d become.
“What about this one?”Brynn asked, her voice suddenly quieter as she swiped to a new photo.
From my position, I caught a glimpse of Brynn at maybe five or six, holding a crudely made Father’s Day card.Something tightened in my chest.
“I made that for Principal Edwards,” Brynn said, her tone carefully neutral.“For that stupid Father’s Day thing school made us do.”
Lavender’s hand tightened around her phone.“You decided he needed it more than anyone, since he had to be ‘father’ to all the kids at school.”
An uncomfortable silence fell.I kept my gaze fixed on the cityscape beyond the window, giving them the illusion of privacy while my heart threatened to crack wide open.
“He lost his kid,” Brynn said suddenly, the words clearly meant for me to hear.“His son died from cancer in the middle of the school year.That’s why I gave it to him.Because I thought… I thought dads who lost their kids deserved Father’s Day cards more than kids who lost their dads.”She paused.“It made sense when I was six.”
I turned then, finding both of them watching me.“It makes perfect sense,” I said quietly.“Kid logic is sometimes the most logical of all.”
The corners of Brynn’s mouth twitched, almost a smile.“The nurse thinks I’m a pain in the ass.”
“Language,” Lavender admonished automatically, though without heat.
“You impressed her,” I corrected.“And she’s not really angry with you.I think she was yanking your chain to get your mind off shit.”
Brynn shrugged, but I caught the hint of pride she couldn’t quite suppress.“I like knowing things.Especially about what’s happening to my body.”Her gaze met mine directly, a challenge maybe.“Did they figure out if this thing’s happening yet?”
“Final tests today,” I answered.“We’ll know soon.”
She nodded once, then turned back to the photos, effectively dismissing me.But something had shifted subtly.The wall between us hadn’t come down, not by a long shot, but maybe, just maybe, she’d installed a small window.
The nurse returned, another staff member in tow -- a doctor this time, from the looks of the white coat.“Miss Leahy,” the nurse announced with theatrical formality, “Dr.Wilson is Dr.Patel’s resident.”She grinned at me and Lavender as if she were getting ready to watch the greatest show on earth.“He would like to discuss your concerns about medication timing.”
Brynn straightened, tablet already in hand, ready for round two.As the debate resumed, Lavender moved to stand beside me, her shoulder brushing against my arm.She had to turn her face into my shoulder more than once as the young resident, who was obviously being taught a lesson by a senior nurse, stumbled over recited explanations he obviously didn’t fully understand.
“She’s exactly like you,” she whispered.
I watched my daughter systematically dismantle the doctor’s explanation of her medication schedule, using logic that even I could tell was impressively sound.Also, the resident’s face turned a very unflattering shade of red.And he stumbled over his words a lot.My chest swelled with a complicated mixture of pride, regret, and fierce, protective love.
Not long after, Dr.Patel came in to see what the fuss was about.Once Brynn laid it all out there, Dr.Patel gave her resident a look that said, “where do they get them and why do they send them to me?”I got the feeling she wasn’t annoyed with Brynn.
“We will use this as a learning experience for you and my resident.”Dr.Patel then explained exactly why she wanted to administer the medication on the “less than optimum” schedule.
Five minutes later, the proverbial light bulb had come on in Brynn’s head, but the resident still had a blank look on his face.Brynn huffed, then explained it like she might to a third grader.
“God help us all,” I murmured back.
Chapter Nine
Lavender
I jerked awake to the sound of footsteps fading down the hall, my neck screaming from another hour passed out in the visitor’s chair.The clock on Brynn’s monitor read 6:17 AM.Two hours since I’d last checked.Knight hadn’t moved in the chair next to me, head tilted back at an angle that would leave him hurting when he woke.The steady beep of Brynn’s monitors had become our lullaby, the rhythm of our lives narrowed to these four walls, this tiled floor, this daughter of ours whose pale face looked impossibly young to be dealing with an illness so harsh.I knew we had very little time before a decision had to be made about dialysis.
I reached for my lukewarm coffee, grimacing as I swallowed.Three days.We’d been here three days straight since Brynn’s condition had worsened.The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead on the other side of the room.I’d turned off the one near her bed to keep a headache at bay.Her blood pressure, though relatively stable as they called it, crept slowly upward.
Knight shifted beside me, sitting up straighter with a groan as he massaged his neck.He reached for his phone and opened up the app with access to Brynn’s records.As usual, he looked up every scrap of information available for him to view.I had no doubt he understood every Goddamned word and value, too, because Brynn did.He and Brynn had conferred often about her care.
