“Sweetie, are you okay?” Papa asked gently, suddenly right by me with a hand on my shoulder.
I jumped, partly because of the unexpected touch and partly because Jack had called me Sweetie once or twice and the memory was like electrified sandpaper rubbing my soul. My sever throbbed and burned, which was pretty weird, considering Chester was the one I’d been bonded to, not Jack.
“I’m fine, Papa,” I said, then felt the tears running down my face.
“Oh, honey,” Papa said, slipping into the chair beside mine so he could hug me. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll make sure of it. I don’t care how old you are, you’re my baby boy, and I will always take care of you.”
Papa’s love only made me cry harder.
“Maybe we should all go out for supper and not just ice cream,” Dad said, sitting in his chair diagonally across the table from me. He rested a hand on my head.
My vibrant pink and purple hair had faded weeks ago. Not only did I need a haircut now, everything looked as washed out as I felt. A good quarter inch of dishwater brown roots sat under what had once been colorful spikes. I was thinking of taking out my piercings, too. They just didn’t feel worth it anymore.
“Papa’s already cooked supper,” I said, sniffing wetly and forcing myself not to act like one of the little kids when they’d scraped their knee. “I’m okay. We can eat here and all go out for ice cream after supper.”
“Okay,” Papa said, kissing my forehead and then standing. He sent Dad a look over my head before they both moved away.
They disappeared into the hallway for a second. Three guesses what they were talking about.
I sighed and turned my cell phone, which was on the table in front of me, face up. For the millionth time in the past few hours, I tapped to my texts and scrolled through the dozen or somessages I’d sent Jack since he stopped answering me. It made me sick to see the last, pitiful conversation we’d had two weeks ago, followed by a long string of one-sided questions from me about whether he was alright.
It was probably a bad idea, but I typed another text.
“I miss you so much. I can’t breathe without you. I love you forever.”
I hit send, then waited with bated breath, but nothing happened. Not even three dots. It was like Jack had blocked my number.
Dad and Papa came back into the kitchen with fake smiles, pretending that nothing was wrong. Alex and Teddy followed them in, arguing about some video game they must have been playing before being called to supper. Jennifer was complaining about the noise they were making, and Miles sulked in behind everyone and plopped into the seat beside me.
“Hey,” I told my younger brother, wiping my face and quickly putting my phone in my jeans pocket.
“Hey,” Miles replied, like a typical fifteen-year-old. He had a look in his eyes that just about killed me, though. My brother didn’t know what to do about me. My pain upset him, but at his age, he probably didn’t know why or what to do about it.
What he did about it, what everyone in the family had been doing about it for the last month was pretending there wasn’t a giant, black elephant in the room that looked like me.
“I thought we’d go out to Tanner’s for ice cream after supper,” Dad said, trying to change the mood as he and Papa brought all the serving dishes to the table. “We could get some cones and watch the cows in the field.”
“Yay! Ice cream!” Alex and Teddy shouted.
“Simmer down, you two,” Papa said while Jennifer grunted in disgust and rolled her eyes.
They were a typical, happy family. I loved them, but I didn’t belong.
Maybe I should just do them all a favor and run away.
Maybe I should sign up for another play scene with the Dark Fantasies Club so I could get Jack out of my heart and off my skin.
That idea repulsed me as soon as it popped into my head. I didn’t want another alpha to touch me. Ever. I belonged to Jack, and that was that.
Fuck. What was I going to do when my next heat hit in about four months? It would be a nightmare.
“Honey, you’re not eating your spaghetti,” Papa pointed out.
He was right. Papa had served me like I was a toddler, but I hadn’t even picked up my fork to eat. I didn’t want to pick it up. I had no appetite at all. I just wanted to?—
The doorbell rang.
Everyone at the table stopped and exchanged confused looks. The doorbell was on the front door, but everyone who was anyone and who knew us knew to come in through the kitchen door.
