“At least text me to let me know you made it to Kincade Slopes in one piece,” Papa said once I was in the car with the engine running.
“I will, Papa,” I promised, then pulled out of the drive.
I waved to him one last time, then focused forward. I only wanted to see what was ahead of me in every way. My past was too painful to dwell on for more than three seconds. I’d been young, naïve, and I’d thought I was in love. I’d been blindsided by the one man I’d thought I could trust more than anyone. Thanks to him, I was broken now and would never be the same.
I pursed my lips to feel my lip ring as I made my way onto the highway that would take me out to Blue Knob Mountain. The piercing had healed completely now, which meant it was time for something else that would distract me from the bigger pain inside me. Maybe I’d get a tongue piercing this time. Maybe I needed more tats. The one on my ass hadn’t hurt nearly enough. I’d heard of some guys getting something on their perineum. Maybe that’s what I needed.
Or maybe I needed to drown the pain instead of feeling more of it. I’d been too scared to try hard drugs so far, but that might change as the years wore on and the interminable feeling of hollowness just got bigger. There was a reason why the vast majority of severed omegas ended up institutionalized.
I tried not to think as I drove out to Kincade Slopes. I turned the radio on too loud and shouted along with the heavy metal songs that made my ears ring.
I wasn’t like this. This wasn’t who I’d been born to be. I wasn’t a tattoo and piercings kind of omega. I’d always dreamed of a family, a home, a mate…who I was bonded to.
“Fuck you, Chester!” I screamed along to the music, then had to spend the next five minutes fighting not to sob while driving over the speed limit on the twilit highway.
I managed to compose myself by the time I reached the foot of Blue Knob Mountain, where the trailer had been set up for omegas taking part in the auction. I needed to look as sane as possible for the organizers, since the DFC had rules about participants being in good mental health. Caden Kuhl and Hamish Farrow knew my situation. I’d had a long meeting with them about Sever Syndrome and what it meant I could and couldn’t do. They cautiously agreed to let me participate in all things DFC, and I’d proven myself to them as a player and a man well enough that they’d given me a spot in this auction.
I was so ready for it.
Like I’d been instructed, I left my bag and everything else in the car, then made my way into the trailer.
“Hey, Denny,” I greeted the beta sitting behind the desk, wearing a game face, as soon as I entered the trailer.
Denny was Caden and Hamish’s admin, and I suspected he was more than just that. He was dressed for his role that night, and I think I threw him a little by not pretending I was there for a job interview, which was what the omegas were all supposed to do.
After a few seconds, Denny dropped his act and smiled, “Hey, Quince. You ready for tonight?”
“Yep,” I said, moving restlessly, like I wasn’t sure whether I should take a seat at the desk and play along or just barge through into the other half of the trailer, where I was sure someone was waiting to take me up to the lodge.
“You doing okay these days?” Denny asked, more like a friend than a facilitator.
I liked Denny. I would have been friends with him if he lived in Barrington instead of Norwalk. We’d been part of a scene together last year, so we knew a lot about each other.
I shrugged. “About as well as can be expected. Heat’s coming, so I’m a little on edge,” I confessed.
“Well, we’ll get you processed and into the scene as quickly as possible,” Denny said, getting up and coming around the desk. He gestured for me to follow him to the door leading into the other half of the trailer, then leaned close to whisper, “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but the alpha we’ve matched you with is totally yum.”
“Oh yeah?” That perked me up a little.
It also tugged at something in my gut, something that felt like hope and longing.
I smacked that down hard before it turned me into a weeping, wallowing mess at a time when I wanted to be hard.
“Yep,” Denny said. “I believe Hamish’s words were, ‘these two will be just what the other needs’.”
I shuddered a little to think what that meant. Hopefully, whoever the DFC organizers had paired me with would leave me with bruises and scars. I needed something on my skin that was louder than everything inside me.
“I can’t wait,” I said with a big grin.
“Then in you go,” Denny said, opening the door and gesturing for me to go inside with exaggerated pomp and circumstance.
I strolled into the other room and was so, so relieved once Denny shut the one door and the other opened. Hamish Farrow himself burst into the room from the outside door, shouting, “We’ve got you now!”
I took a deep breath and shoved everything else aside. I only faked struggle for a little bit as Hamish lunged at me and wrestled me to the ground, then ripped off my clothes. Instantly, whatever control I had over my body was gone. It was such a relief. I had my hands secured behind me and the ball gag I’d requested shoved in my mouth. My naked body was hoisted over Hamish’s shoulder and carried out to the van that was waiting.
It was so easy to slip outside of myself and into the scene as I was secured with a few other omegas, one of whom was weeping like he thought the whole thing was real. I tried to get into that mindset, too, but all that really did for me was stoke the fire of self-loathing that was always there inside me.
I tried to shake that off and think of nothing at all as we waited for another omega, then as we were driven up to the lodge. I focused on the cold of the van against my bare body, the discomfort of being yanked around as I was taken out of the van, and the quiet pain of being secured to a frame with my legs apart and my hands above me. I deeply appreciated the slap on my ass that one of the DFC assistants gave me when he saw I’d started breathing heavily. I was lucky there were people in the organization who knew what I was dealing with and who cared enough to help me.
