Life for the severed was supposed to be better on meds. I begged to differ. Sure, I didn’t experience wild mood swings when I was swallowing three pills a day with meals. I could go back to work at my little shared office in The Grand Hotel and concentrate on the reports I needed to put together debriefing the comic book convention that had just finished. I even had the focus to sit through the team meeting about the Barrington Tech Expo that would take place that weekend. The meds made all that possible.
And they numbed me the fuck out.
I hated it, which is why I’d stopped taking them in the lead-up to the Omega Auction and my heat. I’d wanted to feel every rush of fake fear as I was “kidnapped” and sold to the highest bidder. I’d wanted to feel the pain of each blow whatever alpha bought me might give. I wanted to experience the bittersweet pleasure-pain of being fucked and made to feel like some alpha’s plaything.
I’d ended up losing my heart.
“Which is why we’ll need to make a few adjustments to the room assignments for the special presentations and lectures,” Amelia, my team leader and the Head of Events for The Grand droned on as the meeting reached its pitch. “The senator wants to make certain his contributions to the scientific and technological life of Barrington are given as much media coverage as possible, and his hand-selected choice for keynote speaker has recently changed.”
I nodded, but I wasn’t really paying attention. My role for the upcoming expo was mostly facilitating, which meant making sure each of the presenters giving lectures had the right AV equipment, enough water bottles stashed in their podiums, and that they got to the right room at the right time. Considering a bunch of them were mad scientists who may or may not wear matching socks, that was a harder job than it sounded.
Maybe I could sneak into a highway rest stop and steal a few bottles of water.
The thought came at me out of nowhere. It was accompanied by Jack’s shocked, beautiful face as I stuffed donuts under my shirt.
The yearning I felt for Jack tried to push through the chemically induced calm that blanketed my thoughts like thick snow. It had been just over two weeks since I’d touched him, since I’d breathed in his complex scent, since I’d had his cock in my mouth and his knot in my channel. Nineteen days since I’d felt his fingers stroking my skin, trying to comfort me, hoping to give me aftershock orgasms.
Nineteen days wasn’t enough to dull the memory of my inner omega screaming with grief and rage that he couldn’t connect with Jack and be one with him.
Jack and I had been texting, sure. We sent each other good night messages when we went to bed and good morningmessages when we rose. But that was it. I’d been too chicken to ask for a phone call, and Jack hadn’t offered. He was probably busy being a high-powered lawyer and the son of the man who would probably be our governor in the new year.
I missed him.
“Quincy, how are you coming along with arrangements for Dr. Farringdon’s presentation?”
I missed him so hard that even with the meds, the sadness and longing were almost unbearable.
“Quincy?”
I just wanted to curl up and press myself into Jack’s body again. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut and pretend I wasn’t broken, that we had a chance of bonding someday and making a life together.
“Hey, Quincy.”
Amelia’s voice was soft and sad, and when she rested a hand on my arm, I jumped.
I blinked, glancing around the table at the sympathetic, and some not-so sympathetic, faces of my coworkers. That was when I realized my cheeks were wet.
I gulped and brushed away my tears, mortally embarrassed.
“Sorry,” I said gruffly, then cleared my throat a few times to get the burr out. I faked a self-effacing laugh and said, “I guess it’s time to up my dosage again.”
A few of my colleagues pretended to laugh. They were good people and good friends. Not many places would have hired a severed omega. The statistics about employment and job retention for anyone who had gone through what I’d gone through weren’t good. Amelia was a stellar boss, though. She was a beta, but I thought I’d heard something about her best friend from college being a severed omega whose alpha had been killed in a car crash right after their honeymoon.
“It’s okay,” she said. “Take your time.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said, waving off her concern and fiddling with the tablet on the table in front of me. I cleared my throat one more time then said, “We’re all set for Dr. Farringdon’s presentation. He has his own equipment, and even though it’s complex and delicate, I’ve been coordinating with his team to get it into his presentation space in time for his demonstration, and then to store it someplace secure for the rest of the expo, until he’s ready to return it all to his lab.”
“Great,” Amelia said, touching my arm one last time before going on with the meeting. “Harold, how are you coming along with refreshments for the high school science teams?”
I took a deep breath once attention was off me. I could do this. I could continue on with my life and do my job to the best of my abilities, damage or no damage.
I had to do my job. There wasn’t an alternative. Just that morning, Dad, Papa, and I had had a discussion around the breakfast table about expenses for the house and the kids. A tree had fallen in the front yard while I’d been off on my adventure with Jack, and our homeowner’s insurance refused to pay for its removal, calling it an Act of God. On top of that, Miles’ teachers had met with Papa and told him Miles showed extreme potential and was eligible for an early-admissions college program.
The program cost an arm and a leg.
I needed my job. I couldn’t let my cracked mental state get in the way of helping my family. They’d done so much to help me. I could be on the street or in an institution if it wasn’t for them.
“So that about wraps it up,” Amelia said with a smile, ending the meeting. “Great job, everyone. This year’s Barrington Tech Expo is going to be the best one ever.
