August’s head gave another deep throb, and he winced. “I keep hearing that, but so far, the only thing that’s helped is Niko and…Quinn. My head hurts less around Niko because he keeps me distracted, and the same goes for Quinn, but I find things are clearer when we’re together.”
The phone was silent, so August braced himself and continued.
“I’ve been having trouble with the separation thing, too. It’s like my brain gets confused between the current August and the August from the past, and it’s driving me crazy. The only time I’ve felt like myself is when I’m with Quinn, which sounds so fucking stupid, but it’s the truth.”
“That doesn’t sound stupid at all,” said Jett. “Niko couldn’t say how close you two were in high school, but even with the basic information we were given about your parents, I’m going to go on a limb and say your childhood was shit. Quinn might be the only thing that made you happy back then, and it sounds like you’re reconnecting now.”
Reconnecting was a word for it, but August didn’t think Quinn was interested in having a deep friendship with him. He wanted to keep things simple, which meant no relationship, only sex.
“Have you thought about getting back together with him?” Harrison asked.
Oh, if only.
“I can’t,” said August. “His one rule is that I can’t fall in love with him.”
He expected a sympathetic response, but Jett scoffed.
“People only say that shit when they don’t trust themselves. He’s probably teetering on the edge of falling for you again, and is trying everything he can to secure himself to the ledge.”
Not Quinn.
Quinn was too smart—too sure of himself. He wasn’t an angry teen desperate for attention anymore.
“And judging from the silence,” said Harrison. “August is already having the feels.”
Harrison was such a scary motherfucker sometimes, but then he started talking like Jett, and August lost all respect for him.
“Hesois,” said Jett. “But, Gusty—don’t tell him yet. You have to wait for the right moment, because he’s been burned by you once, so it’s going to take him time.”
“No—” August sighed, no longer sure what the fuck he was doing. “I’m not doing that to him. I’m going to respect what Quinn wants and enjoy what we have now until it’s time to move on.”
A pause.
“Do you think you can?” Jett asked.
Scowling, August sat up so he could breathe better. “Do I think I canwhat, Fraser?”
No clap-back. No chirp.
“Do you think you can move on from him?” Jett asked, and then added. “If Quinn walked out of your life tomorrow, would you let him?”
There was something these people weren’t understanding, and that was that Quinn was his own fucking person, and he had every right to do whatever he wanted.
“I’ll do what Quinn tells me—”
“That’s not what I asked, man.” Jett sighed, sounding just as exhausted as August felt. “I’m trying to gauge how you feel about him, because Quinn can tell you what to do all he wants, but he can’t change how you feel. And I know you don’t think you stand a chance with him again, but trust me when I say that if someone hurts you, no matter how many years pass, you wouldn’t offer to have sex with them.”
August wanted to deny it, but he often forgot that Quinn hadallof his memories. He wasn’t conflicted with the different versions of himself, and it was Quinn who had been hurt the most by what happened.
Jett wasn’t making assumptions because he believed in the power of love; he was looking at the situation from a different perspective that August couldn’t comprehend in his current state.
“Like I said,” Jett continued, not needing to hear August’s answer. “Don’t make a move yet. First, you need to give yourself time to feel better. You said that being with Quinn helps, so keep doing what you’re doing, but please don’t fuck him and run every time you hook up. Stay as long as he’ll let you, takecare of him, and be sweet to show you appreciate the time you’re spending together.”
August could do that. He thought he did pretty okay the night before, but he would make sure to pay more attention moving forward.
“Next, you need to take a moment and be honest with yourself,” said Jett. “You want him, and that’s okay. It’sokayto want Quinn, August. If you keep trying to fight it—he’s going to sense the distance and start rebuilding walls to protect himself.”
He heard what Jett was saying, but he hadn’t seen the fire in Quinn’s eyes at the charity ball. August thought they were supposed to give him advice on how to deal with his trauma, not advice on how to woo Quinn into being his boyfriend.
