And after what felt like a lifetime, it settled into a dull throb.
“What…language is that?”
Augusthad yet to open his eyes, but he heard the lack of sound when Niko went motionless. It was quiet for so long he worried he had hallucinated the presence of his roommate, but then a warm cloth began roughly wiping his face, making him shout in surprise.
“It’s a lullaby my grandmother used to sing to me,” said Niko, pinning August to the floor so he could clean him up without a fight. “You didn’t tell me you suffered from migraines.”
Niko hadn’t answered his question, and August didn’t want to start a fight that he was in no shape to finish, so he surrendered.
Niko could have left him to deal with shit on his own now that he had regained the ability to think, but August was glad he didn’t. It felt weird to be cared for like this, but it wasn’t unpleasant. He knew he looked stupid with his face burning from embarrassment, but Niko didn’t say anything.
No words were exchanged as Niko helped roll August onto his back and shoved a folded-up towel under his head. He placed a cold cloth over his eyes before he could open them, and then removed August’s shoes and undressed him out of his constricting suit.
The trauma of the event was passing, and August could feel the cold sweat soaking his clothes, making them cling to his chilled skin. The shaking didn’t stop, not even after Niko helped him lift his head to take a drink of water and swallow some Advil.
It wasn’t until Niko was finished tidying and was sitting on the floor beside August that he spoke again.
“No wonder you wanted to leave. I know migraines can hit out of nowhere, butdamn.”
August swallowed past the bitter taste in his mouth, cringing so hard that shivers erupted over his body. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely. “You didn’t have to do all this.”
Niko snorted and gently patted the cloth covering his eyes. “If you heard your friend crying and ran into the room to see him thrashing in pain, I think you would have reacted the same way. I almost called an ambulance—I still might if that bite on your hand is as deep as I think it is.”
As if responding to Niko’s words, his palm began burning, drawing a hiss from him.
August wanted to laugh, but if he used any more of his energy, he would be liable to have a heart attack.
Ha! Heart attack.
He was reeling from what happened, so when words began leaving his mouth without his permission, he was powerless to stop them.
“I killed my father,” August whispered.
The silence was heavy. August’s heartbeat was thudding hard enough to rattle his teeth. The longer it stretched, the faster his pulse pounded, until the jittery, buzzing sensation became too much, and a laugh slipped out before he could stop it.
He didn’t care if Niko was there, or if he had been an illusion the entire time; he needed to talk about it before the truth filled his lungs and hechokedon it.
“He had a bad heart, and I knew how to piss him off. I guess I took it too far when I told the culty, religious asshole that I had fucked a guy, and the stress brought on by him beating me with his belt, sent him straight into cardiac arrest.”
August giggled as he readjusted the facecloth, flipping it to the colder side and sighing with relief.
“My mom, the horrid bitch, told me to call for help, but Ididn’t. I stayed on my knees like a good boy because that was the last order my father had given me. I didn’t raise a finger to save him; I just watched him die like the pathetic piece of shit he was.”
He swallowed, and his throat burned from damage and overuse.
“Why did I forget that? It makes no fucking sense—it’s like the memories weren’t there until I sawhim, and then my fucking world imploded. You think someone would remember killing their father, but I guess I really am a forgetful idiot. I’m such anidiot!”
August began panting, and nausea bubbled in his stomach again. He was about to rip the cloth off his face and check to see if Niko was there, but a second tap to his forehead startled him into stillness.
His gasps echoed, nearly drowning out Niko’s next words.
“You have no idea what trauma can do to a brain, do you?”
August’s throat tightened, and tears stung his eyes. He shook his head, almost succeeding in knocking Niko’s hand away, but it didn’t work.
“What you just told me—that shit can fuck you up for life. I don’t know half of the details, but it sounds like your concerns about memory loss have an easy explanation. Sometimes, when bad things happen to people, their brain dissociates from reality to protect themselves. I would be more shocked if youdidn’thave issues after living through that.”
“Neeks, I killed my father.”
