Tears stung Quinn’s eyes as August continued to hold him and cry, his body shaking both of them with the force of his sobs. He was squeezing just a little too tightly, and the floor was uncomfortable, but Quinn didn’t care.
He brushed his fingers through August’s sweat-damp hair, speaking praises to him in hush tones that probably made no sense, but they felt right. His emotions swung from heartbreak on August’s behalf to rage and the need to hurt whoever had done this to him. He had a feeling it was something to do with August’s mother, but he didn’t want to get too worked up until he got the story from him.
No sense in burning the Snow family home down when he didn’t know the truth yet. He needed to have patience.
Quinn let August get it all out, hushing him whenever he tried to speak and pausing only long enough to wipe away tears, blood, and snot before the dam broke again and it started over.
When Quinn began to worry August would make himself sick, he tried to quiet him by pressing gentle kisses to the less gross parts of his face and guiding him through deep breaths. The breathing helped, and the tears never stopped, but the sobs eventually faded until they came to a stop.
But then the trembling started, and Quinn had seconds toyankAugust onto his knees so he could wretch into his bucket—but he didn’t vomit anything up.
Quinn rubbed August’s bare back, fingers brushing over the large scars as he traced the lines of his tattoos. He waited for August’s stomach to stop spasming before he got a fresh, wet cloth to clean his face, still speaking in a soothing tone until he had the man under the blankets again.
“I’m gross, don’t get down here with me,” August whined, but Quinn ignored him and joined him.
“I take care of two snotty, germy children,” said Quinn. “You eventually get used to the smell of puke and dealing with fluids. At least you’re only one person.”
He kept the teasing light to put August at ease, but also so he could gauge his condition. August had his eyes closed again and was trying to smile, but he didn’t quite have the strength to do it.
“You need to drink something.” Quinn couldn’t see any more blood, but between the crying and refusing to eat, August had to be dehydrated as hell. “Can you request a team doctor to visit and check you out? At least they could give you something for the pain.”
August shook his head weakly. “I can’t. If they see me like this, I’ll be benched for weeks. I only need a few days, and then it will…stop.”
It sounded like August was speaking from experience, but if that was the case, then he couldn’t let this go. Quinn had to think of some way to get August to the hospital so they could scan him and test him for every known illness they could think of. No healthy twenty-eight-year-old got migraines bad enough to put them in this state without taking medication.
“You know what I’m going to tell you,” Quinn said.
August’s refusal was stronger this time. “I’m not sick. It’s my head.”
Quinn sighed. He was too emotionally drained to deal with August’s stubbornness. “If it’s just your head, then it’s not a big deal. They have all sorts of pain meds for migraines these days.”
“No—” August’s blond lashes fluttered as his eyes opened. “It’s not the migraine, it’s mybrain. It’s mental.”
Quinn…didn’t understand. August looked like he was about to start crying, and he had no idea how to help him.
“I’m having a mentalbreakdown,” said August, and his breath hitched sharply again, startling Quinn. “I’m losing my fucking mind, Quinn. The nosebleeds—the migraines—they’re all symptoms of my brain breaking because I’m going insane.”
August pressed his face into his hands, like he was hiding from Quinn.
Like he was ashamed.
“That’s why I didn’t want you here,” said August. “I don’t want you to see me this fucked up. I don’t want to scare you when I can’t tell if you’re real, or if I’m real, or if my entire world is a lie and I’m actually in a straitjacket in a hospital somewhere, staring at a wall, drooling.”
Quinn pried August’s hands away long enough to catch a glimpse of his fear-dark eyes. “August—”
“I’m broken, Quinn!” August shoved into a sitting position to escape the touches, but he was wobbling too much to stand up. “I thought I was getting better, but I waswrong. I can’t put you through this after everything I did, and it was selfish for me to try. I should never have agreed to this. You deserve someone who makes you happy, and that’s not me because I don’t even know whoIam.”
Quinn’s blood pressure was so high that he could feel his heart beating in his stomach. He knew he had to stop August before he fell into hysterics again, but his body wouldn’t move.
“I love you too much. I can’t do this,” said August, body shivering as he tucked himself into a ball. “I’ll get better on my own, and you can go back to focusing on your life and doing things that make you happy. You don’t have to return after tonight.”
Quinn’s extremities still didn’t feel like his own, but he managed to push himself upright so he wasn’t speaking to August from the floor.
“Are you done?”
August reluctantly lifted his gaze to meet Quinn’s.
“That rule of our agreement was forbothof us,” said Quinn. “And since webothbroke it, I need you to stop giving me a way out, and please explain what happened. You’re not scaring me, August. I just don’t understand what’s going on. You told me the nosebleeds and migraines were from stress, so what is it?”
