“You’re panicking because you think I don’t want this,” said Quinn. “But the truth is, part of medoes, and that part gets louder every single day we’re together. I just need you to hear me when I say that it’s going to take time to give in to the part that wants you. Not because I hate the idea of us, but because I have trust issues, okay?”
Quinn paused and waited patiently for August to nod in reply, and once he had his confirmation, he bent to kiss August on the forehead.
“Stop working yourself up over nonexistent problems, August.” Quinn kissed him again, and when August smiled, this time it was real.
“I’m only seeing you right now,” said Quinn. “I have zero interest in other guys, so you don’t need to frantically pace around me while waiting for an answer. Dating me in high school should have given you a clear glimpse into how neurotic and stubborn I am.”
The vice tightened again, and August held his breath until Quinn let go and put distance between them.
He needed to tell him. Quinn deserved to know that Augustcouldn’tremember those things, and that those parts of their relationship were still foggy in his mind.
Sure, he could guess and say he knew Quinn’s personality from the bits and pieces he had reclaimed, but doing so would make him feel like a liar.
August needed time, and Quinn wasn’t budging, which meant he still had a chance to glue his fractured mind back into one piece before any big decisions were reached.
“Are you going to get dressed?” Quinn asked, nudging August’s foot with his toe. “I’m going to be late if I don’t leave soon, so if you want to come—”
“Yes.” August stood abruptly, startling Quinn into taking several steps away. “Give me two minutes. I’ll throw on clothes and meet you in your car.”
Quinn smirked, his keen eyes gleaming as he stood and watched August’s mad scramble around the room until he turned and left.
True to his word, August was right behind him, nearly missing the bottom step in his haste to get the hell out of the house before Quinn could ditch him. He caught sight of Niko and Haas in the living room through the arched entryway and tossed them a wave, not slowing down long enough to explain.
Niko’s laughter chased him out the front door, but August shrugged it off. Nothing could bother him—not when he was about to spend the day with Quinn.
The car Quinn was driving felt too small to contain all of August’s long limbs, but he didn’t complain, not even after he’d bumped his head getting in or jammed his knee under the dash.
“I guess youwerekind of lifeless the last time you got a drive with me, so it helped you fit better,” said Quinn. “Which is why I don’t understand your choice to drive a sports car. You seem like a guy who needs truck space.”
August cringed just thinking about it. “There is nothing sexy about a truck, and I will die on that hill.”
“There’s also nothing sexy about a car that can’t make it over a speedbump.” Quinn patted his steering wheel and cooed at his car. “Isn’t that right, Sybil?”
A Honda Civic named Sybil. That was…
“Fuck, you’re such a dork,” said August. Though he loved how dorky Quinn was. It felt familiar in a way he was sure wasn’t coincidental, but he wished he could remember why.
“I never claimed that I matured over the years,” was Quinn’s retort. “You’re a lot less arrogant than you used to be, so that’s a positive change in my books.”
A memory was circling the edge of his mind, revealing flashes of a past that August yearned to connect with. Images of Quinn with dyed black hair and an overload of eyeliner, glaring up at August’s high school captain like he wanted to fight him. August’s laughter as he joined in with whatever rude, homophobic comment was being passed between his teammates, and the hatred in Quinn’s eyes as they locked onto August.
He never initiated the bullying, August remembered that, but he didn’t stick up for Quinn either. It was always Esme who shoved into the fights and scared Quinn’s attackers away, and it was Esme who…
She had confronted August—verbally dressing him down in front of his peers because he was the biggest and scariest target. It had been so effective that August found the twins later that same day and apologized for his lack of action, promising to keep his teammates away from Quinn.
That was when Quinn had gone from being an unknown person to someone he saw every day as he did his best to follow through with his promise. Again, things were blurry around thehowparts, like how he figured out he liked Quinn. How did he convince the edgy boy to like him? And how the hell did he convince the scary goth kid to get on his knees and suck his dick in the school bathroom almost every day?
“You’re being abnormally quiet,” said Quinn. “You’re not scared to see Alara and Emira, are you? They’ve seen you plenty of times when Eren hosts dinners.”
August turned to look at him so Quinn could see the sincerity in his smile. “No, I like the girls. Last time I was over, and they were there, they called meSnowy, and asked if I would carry them around on my shoulders.”
Quinn had to keep his eyes on the road, but he glanced at August and smiled. “Snowy? That’s so cute. Did you give them a ride?”
August scoffed because,yes, he had given his captain’s children what they wanted. He had always felt on the outs with his team, so if catering to two adorable little girls was what he had to do for people to like him, he did it.
“I figured,” said Quinn without having to hear August’s answer. “It still baffles me how you didn’t recognize Esme. I didn’t think she changed that much in appearance, unlike me.”
August had no explanation for Quinn that would make sense—not yet. The truth was, he never would have recognized her because he couldn’t even remember what his mother looked like, and he had known her a lot better than a girl he once talked to in high school.
