But in reality, I’m planning my next move. He didn’t want me to be a chair. Fine.
I can be something else.
I’ll make sure he notices me.
I’m The Firm. We never fail.
When work is over, Neo doesn’t ask me for a deep, dark secret. I’m in debt to him. Several days’ worth, in fact. But he doesn’t seem to care. He just bolts out of the office, leaving me to stare at the dust floating in his wake. I rub a hand over my jaw and loosen my tie.
I switched out my contacts for glasses halfway through work. When I returned to the office, Neo’s fingers faltered on the keyboard. I felt him watching me all the way to my desk. At least I know he still finds me attractive.
That’s something, I guess.
I eventually follow Neo, trying to figure out where he’s gone. As I move through the hallways, I hear the commotion of people chatting, laughing, and a few loud screeches. It makes my head ache, and I veer back the way I came, not in the mood to socialize.
I know they’re my brothers, but after the day I’ve had, after the way I stewed and stressed, I need a minute. I need some time alone.
Or with Neo. Seeing as searching him out means interacting with everyone else, this will have to do.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I find myself striding down several hallways before finding the door I want.
I enter the code, pull it open, and step inside, feeling my chest loosen, my lungs expanding. This is a false staircase, one that leads to nowhere, but it’s a place I’ve retreated to often, a place where I can sit in silence and just be.
My brothers know about this place, but they don’t know what it means to me. How I sometimes hide in here when it gets too loud, when it all seems too overwhelming.
Father found out about this space once. He whipped me and then boarded it up.
“You cannot hide from your duties.”
When he died, I made sure I had access to it. Made sure I could sneak back into this safe space anytime I needed to.
I lower myself onto the bottom step and pull my glasses off. My fingers find my eyes, and I rub at them, feeling the ache behind them before pressing harder.
Neo’s face makes an appearance, his wild eyes, his blue hair, and I knock my head against the wall lightly, trying to remove him from my memory.
He only grows louder, bigger. All-consuming.
I let out a low groan, my arms dropping between my legs and my chin hitting my chest. I peel my eyelids open and stare at the floor, the swirls of marble beneath my feet.
There are so many ghosts in this place, in the walls; echoes of a past I regret.
I can’t change what I went through growing up, can’t change the man it’s made me, but I can change what happens with Neo.
I stand up and shake out my hands, facing the door with squared shoulders. And then I step outside, moving back toward the loud noises, toward my brothers and their partners.
As I turn a corner into the living room, I see Ansel and Cade first, and then Samson’s outstretched legs. What I don’t expect to see is Neo leaning over his lap, Samson’s hand on his lower back.
My feet stop, and I gape at the two of them.
The rational part of me is saying that Neo is only reaching for the remote control, as is evidenced by the thing in his hand and how quickly he extricates himself from Samson once he has it.
The illogical part of me tells me it’s more. That Samson is getting something I’m not.
Neo’s attention.
“Joining us?” Ansel asks, and I turn my gaze toward his sweet voice.
I push down the fury rolling through me. “What are you doing?”
