Nothing helps over the next couple of weeks, either. I find myself spending every day with Neo. All day. I should be at meetings. Attending fundraisers. Shaking important people’s hands and generally being important myself. I should be taking on my share of requests from The Firm.
I do none of this.
Instead, I go to my office at eight a.m. and try to prepare myself for Neo’s arrival. I stare at the rain running down the windowpanes and count down the minutes until he enters.
Really, I don’t know why I’m forcing myself to go through this day after day. I’ve tried to reason that it’s a form of exposure therapy. That spending time with Neo in a controlled environment will stop me from reacting so…strongly. That it’ll stop the dreams. Stop me from jerking off over more intensely vivid fantasies involving the blue-haired brat. That my skin will stop feeling aflame every time he touches me.
Which he does. Often.
Subjecting myself to him daily does nothing to improve my…situation. But really, was I ever expecting it would?
That’s not why you’re doing it. You’re doing it because Neo is right. You like being more yourself around him. That he’s forcing it out of you.
Neo’s certainly been doing that. He warned me he wasn’t going to back off, and he hasn’t. Barely a day has gone by that he hasn’t hidden something I need or moved it to a different place.
So it’s no surprise when I go to make my coffee to find the bean canister empty. I open the cupboard to see the packet missing from the shelf. “Dotty, where’s the coffee?”
Predictably, she doesn’t answer, just sniffs and swans from the room, spraying the air with her bottle as she goes. If she didn’t care so much for Ansel and Neo, I’d question whether she was attempting to poison us.
Sighing, I rummage through the other cupboards. Usually, mymornings with Neo start with him using my phone to order us coffee and breakfast from Northbound Grounds.
The issue is, I need to have caffeine in my system before I can face him. Which, now I can’t do, because the little brat has hidden the beans. The ones I special-ordered from Northbound Grounds so we could drink their blend here, too. Not because Neo likes it so much. It’s because I’ve grown used to it.
Like you’ve grown used to having him around you constantly?
I growl impatiently as I slam the last cupboard shut. I might have grown used to him, but that doesn’t stop my temper rising when he pulls this bullshit.
Thirty seconds later, I’m shoving into his room. I don’t bother knocking. I’m too mad, and it’s not like he ever offers me the same courtesy.
When I see what he’s doing, I suddenly wish I had.
“Good morning.” Neo smirks sleepily, his hand continuing to move over his cock. “Did you sense that I need some help? This will definitely go much faster with you in the room.”
I swallow hard. Neo is sprawled on top of the sheets, his pale skin contrasting against the dark cotton. His hair is spiked in every direction, eyes still heavy from sleep.
Oh, and he’s completely naked.
I grip the door handle until my knuckles whiten. To keep myself standing? Or to keep myself from going over to him?
I have no idea. Right now, I’m not sure who I am. I haven’t known who I am in several weeks; ever since he appeared in my life.
I just know I can’t leave.
“Come on, Wylder,” he coaxes, his lips lifting. “Come closer. I know you want to.”
“Where’s the coffee?” I blurt out suddenly.
His hand strokes slowly downward. Unlike me, he’s intact. The foreskin draws back, revealing his shiny head. “Is that really what you want to ask me right now?”
“It’s why I’m here.” I can’t think while he’s doing that, but I can’t seem to tell him to stop.
“Is it?” he breathes, his hand moving faster. A flush is spreading down his neck and over his chest. “Or is that the excuse you used to come and see me?”
I don’t answer him. I can’t. Not when he wriggles down the bed and puts his feet flat on the mattress. When he spreads his thighs for me, and I glimpse the tiny furl of skin between his cheeks.
My tongue is nowhere to be found. Maybe I swallowed it.
“Is this how you picture me?” Neo’s words are slightly breathless now. “When you get yourself off at night?”
