So what if Thom has nice abs and a gorgeous ass that looks like it could be a national landmark? And so what if he’s kind and accommodating, turning his gym into a Deaf-friendly space? So what if he hired Deaf staff and went out of his way to speed-learn an entirely new language to make sure his boyfriend is included everywhere they go together?—
Okay, yeah, I can see where I’m the asshole in all of this. I have to admit, Thom is a gem, whether I like it or not. He’s nothing like my ex and never has been. But sue me for being bitter. I’m so fucking tired, and Robbie and I had a pact. It’s my fault I fucked up with him so badly he never considered me for a serious relationship, but Thom seems like a bridge too far.
And now I’m in a situation much like Robbie’s, though I’m refusing to give in as quickly as he did.
But Dex is making me feel all sorts of ways. His face, his eyes, his fucking hands. When he texted me, I told myself I would not go over there. I was busy upending my life after my dad decided to send me to Paris to run the offices there. But his text kept staring at me.
Taunting me.
Tempting me.
I wasn’t even really aware I’d gotten in my car and started driving until I was at his front door. After that, it was easy to forget for a little while. It was easy to let our bodies do the talking.
It was supposed to be a quick and simple thing. Then he’d looked me in the eye, and his hands asked me to stay, and I was the jackass for saying yes. If anything could solidify my role as the fucking asshole of our entire friend group, it was me making a promise I knew I wouldn’t keep.
I’d had this trip planned for months now, but the look on his face made me want to stay. It made me want to break my promise to my dad and say fuck work and live in Dex’s bed like his hidden little sugar baby, living off orgasms and whatever garbage protein drinks he force-fed me to keep my strength up.
It had been a near thing too. I had almost sent a text to my dad letting him know I couldn’t do it—that I had to stay.
I couldn’t help wanting it. I couldn’t help lying there fantasizing about what it would be like waking up with him every morning with my mouth around his cock or his own buried deep in my ass.
I couldn’t help picture having breakfast after—watching him take down a disgusting protein shake while I sipped mycoffee and admired him every time he lifted his shirt to scratch his abs. And his smile,god, he had such a gorgeous smile.
If only he were a different person. If only he belonged in my world.
But he doesn’t, and I have no business feeling this way.
That thought kept me up, and after that, it was easy to slip out of his house without a word and get on with my life. France isn’t going to be forever. Three years if everything goes to plan, which I can only hope is the exact amount of time I need to scrub not just Dex from my brain, but also the last, lingering bits of feeling I’ve been carrying for Robbie.
A couple of months back, when my dad told me he needed someone to head up his office in Paris, I literally jumped at the chance. I needed space from the way it felt like my life was falling apart.
It was an easy choice too. My dad was born and grew up in a little town outside of Versailles, so I grew up exposed to both French and la langue des signes française. My dad is hearing, but his father was Deaf, so he grew up with LSF as his primary language at home. It meant being shouted at with his voice and his hands in that second and third language every time I pissed him off.
Which was a lot.
He was a single dad and exhausted and stressed, and he took a lot out on me. But our relationship is strong now, and I can’t help but wonder if he noticed that I was starting to fall apart after Robbie and Thom made their relationship official.
And, if I’m being honest, I wasn’t holding it together very well before then either.
The saving grace of this whole thing is that there’s a shitload of work to be done at the new office. Most of the time I’llbe too busy making sure the coding for the captions system is correct to care about what’s going on back home.
And the rest of the time, I’ll be too busy stuffing my face with fresh baguettes and a mountain of cheese to worry about what life is going to be like after these three years. Like how Robbie and Thom will probably be married. How Dex will probably meet someone gorgeous who actually smiles and treats him the way he deserves to be treated.
How I’ll be left behind. As usual.
But hey, if I find a nice, hot, Deaf Parisian to spend my time with, well…there are worse things that can happen while I’m away.
I close my eyes and attempt to envision the perfect Frenchman, only to have a hot, doe-eyed gym rat in his obscenely cut tank top appear behind my eyelids. God damn it. I needed to escape him.
He’s not for me. He doesn’t know my culture. He doesn’t know my language. He doesn’t belong in my friend group. We’re the wrong match, no matter how good we are in bed.
Fuck, my dick feels a little thick behind my zipper, and I shift, trying not to alert the person in the seat next to me that I’m feeling a certain way. Glancing out the window, I see land now. The sun’s midway through the sky, which means I’ll have a few daylight hours left to burn as I get settled into the cottage.
It’s my dad’s childhood home that’s been rented out for families on vacation, but it’s been vacant for a while, and the cleaning service sent a message right before takeoff that they were done cleaning and stocking the place.
My new life is ready for me. And I’m ready for it. As ready as I’ll ever be, anyway.
Tapping my fingers on the armrest, Idebate about putting in my hearing aids. My hearing is shit at best, but with a lot of concentration, I can usually make out some of what the captain is saying over the intercom.
