My heart tumbles down to my feet, and I wish to god I hadn’t asked. I wish to god I hadn’t seen Thom at all. I want to go back to living in ignorant bliss because what the actual fuck?
I hadn’t actually expected Thom to have seen him, but I also didn’t expect him to tell me the fucker had moved to fucking France.
“When did you find out he was leaving?” I ask Thom as we head toward the language building. “Was it a spur-of-the-moment thing?”
Was it because of me, is what I mean. Was he leaving because he and I hooked up?
Thom shrugs. “Nah. He told Robbie about it like a month and a half ago. Robbie was pissed, of course. He accused Rome of running away from his problems or something.”
I frown. “What problems?” A month and a half ago was before our night together at the club, so it couldn’t be my fault.
Thom scoffs. “Who the fuck knows. That dude is too much for me, so I try not to pay attention. Why do you care though?” He gives me a firm side-eye.
He knows about the night after the club, but he doesn’t know about the rest.
“No reason. I was just…curious.” God, the lie tastes bitter on my tongue, and I bite back a few angry words, my hand tightening on my phone as I fight the urge to pull up Rome’s contact and FaceTime him to cuss him out.
Rome moved. He snuck out of my house before dawn and left the fucking country for a job.
So what the hell was that last night? A goodbye fuck? God, he’d lied right to my face when I asked him to stay and he said he would. And instead of giving me even a hint that this could mean something, he ghosted me and got on a plane without somuch as a “thanks for the great night, but I have to go to France forever now.”
He was such adick.
I take a deep breath so I don’t let on that I’m upset because at this point, I don’t want anyone to know my feelings are hurt. “Yeah, kind of sounds like him though. He’s a bit of an asshole.”
Thom eyes me and then waggles his eyebrows. “Yeah, but his asshole is good, right?”
I stare at my brother and then throw a punch at his arm. It bounces off his muscle, and he giggles.
“Sorry, that was rude. I don’t know if you’ve fucked yet.”
“We aren’t fucking. It was a drunken mistake,” I say. I do my best not to give anything away.
Thom lifts a brow. “So you’re not bi, or?—”
“No, I am. I mean…IthinkI am. The mistake was fucking Rome,” I amend.
Thom studies me for a moment, then shrugs. “Well, you must like him enough to ask.”
I wish he were less observant sometimes.
“Why does he hate hearing people so much?” I can’t help but ask.
Thom’s face does something complicated, and he sighs. “I can’t give you details. It’s not my story to tell. But he had a shitty ex back in college who was hearing, and the guy did some fucked-up stuff to him.”
My heart twists in my chest. Not that it matters now that he’s gone, but still. I wish I’d known. Even if that wouldn’t change anything. “Doesn’t seem fair for him to take it out on everyone.”
“No,” Thom says slowly, “but I also kind of get it? I mean, it’s hard enough navigating a world where everything is built to make your life harder, not easier. Then throw in people whotreat you like a trained circus monkey or some sideshow while also expecting you to accommodate them instead of the other way around, and it can make people bitter.”
Like Robbie. Like Rome. And I do get it. More than I want to admit right now because I’m so fucking pissed at him. But it is what it is.
“Well, I think I’m done talking about him.” That’s a lie. I want to talk about him all the time, but not with someone who will judge me. “It’s probably good he’s gone. It’ll give you and Robbie some breathing room.”
Thom considers that just as I see his boyfriend walk around a corner. Robbie’s scowl turns into a small grin when he sees my brother. Thom lifts his hands and sim-coms, “Thanks for walking with me. Message me when you’re done meeting with Denver.”
I nod and watch as Thom picks Robbie up and spins him around. I can hear the gurgle of annoyance from Robbie, but it’s laced with happiness as well. They really do love each other.
One day, I’ll have that, I think as I jog up the stairs to Denver’s office.
