For a second, I think Robbie might punch something. Or tell me off for being a fucking hypocrite. But Thom jumps up with a grin and, way too much like Quinn, enthusiastically signs, ‘PAH!’
I snort and kiss Dex one more time before standing upright and grabbing Robbie by the wrist, pulling him toward the back door. It slides open, and we step into the afternoon, the sun warm but the breeze cool.
Robbie flops into one of the patio chairs and stares across the grass toward the small lake. I can see a few geese waddling around, but Robbie doesn’t let me distract myself for long.
He kicks me in the shin and points to the chair, so I sit.
‘Go on,’ I urge at his stillness. ‘Tell me what an asshole I am.’
He stares for a long, long time. ‘Are you messing with him?’
My chest aches that he would ever believe that about me, even if it’s fair. I shake my head. ‘No.’
‘You love him?’
I swallow heavily. ‘I haven’t told him that yet.’ His arms and hands tense to reply, so I quickly add, ‘But I will. After everything calms down.’
Robbie sinks back into his chair and drags his fingers around his mouth and down his chin—his nervous thinking habit. ‘I want you to be happy.’
‘I am.’
‘I didn’t think it would be with Dex, but it makes sense.’
God, does it really? I feel like I’m still trying to figure out why it feels so perfect. That someone else could see it before makes me a little uncomfortable.
‘He’s a good person,’ Robbie adds.
‘I understand I wasn’t handling what happened to me with John in the most healthy way,’ I tell him. ‘I hurt you. I hurt Dex.’
Robbie cocks his head to the side. He says nothing, so I don’t know if he knows that Dex and I had been circling each other for so long.
‘We’ve moved past it,’ I eventually add.
He nods, then bites his lip. ‘I’m going to ask Thom to marry me.’
Months ago, that would have gutted me with envy. Now, I just feel quietly happy for my friend. ‘He’ll say yes.’
Robbie laughs and rolls his eyes. ‘I know. I was going to wait, but thanks to the fire…’ He trails off, his fingers hovering in the air for a bit. ‘Maybe it’ll make him feel better.’
I’m not there yet. I’m not going to propose to Dex just to help his stress levels or feelings. But I can do something. I can be good to him. I can make him forget every relationship he’s ever had before me.
Robbie reads something on my face and laughs again. ‘You’ll be next.’
I pull a face. I’ve never been a marriage guy. I don’t know that I am now. But I might be a forever kind of guy. If it involves Dex.
The door slides open, and Thom appears, looking haggard. ‘Ready to go?’
Robbie nods and stands up, walking over to me and yanking me into a long hug. He breathes heavily against me and pulls back. ‘I’m happy for you,’ he mouths.
I nod. Hugging him feels different now. Better. Kinder. Like it means something. Thom comes in next without hesitation. He’s always been affectionate, even when I was a raging asshole to him, and I know I owe him for being such an asshole to him.
He hums as he squeezes me, the rumble heavy in his chest. He lifts me a few inches off the ground, then drops me to my feet and pulls back. ‘Thank you for taking care of my brother. He needs it.’
‘I know. I won’t stop.’
Thom’s face softens, and he holds out his hand for Robbie, who takes it. The moment feels both tense and still as they leave, and I look at the door, debating if I want to go back inside, but Dex appears a moment later and wraps around me.
It’s so easy to hold him. So easy to tilt his face up and kiss him until he goes loose and pliant against me. So easy to pull him into my lap as I drop onto one of his loungers and stretch out beneath him.
