He’s trying his best not to look at me too much, but not to look away too much, either. I know, because I’m doing the same. I don’t want this to be awkward. It can’t be awkward. I need him out there with me, fully focused and ready to guide me to the top of the podium.
‘Yeah, of course you can join me.’ The words are said through gritted teeth because I’m not sure it’s a good idea at all, but we need to get over this quickly or my track times will suffer. That’s the brutal reality of the mindset that’s required to be an elite athlete– and another excellent reason why you shouldn’t fuck your coworkers.
But I’d be lying if I said I don’t already miss speaking to him, and it’s only been two days. In such a short period of time, he’s become an integral part of my life. I spent years watching Kian build a deep bond with his race engineer, then Harper and now Elijah. I never had that with my last guy. He did a good job, but I don’t think he ever actually liked me. This connection Caleb and I have developed is good for my racing– the result in Hungary proves that. And now that we know each other even better? That must be a good thing. I just need to keep it out of the bedroom. I can do that, surely?
I hear Caleb take a deep breath, but he doesn’t say anything. He takes another one and rushes out with, ‘Look, I really want us to carry on being friends and working well together. So can we just forget the other night happened and move on?’
It hurts that he makes it sound so straightforward, but I need to turn my brain off and stop thinking about how it never felt like that with Jackson. And how I’ve never felt so at peace with someone in my space. I have to. I have to if I want to achieve anything this year.
Professional, friendly relationship. Yeah, let’s go, I think without enthusiasm.
‘Yeah, absolutely. We can do that. I could do with a big win this weekend.’ I nudge his shoulder with mine and the spark that jolts my body has me pulling away almost immediately. Okay, that was a mistake. I’m addingtouchingto the list of things I can no longer do with Caleb.
‘Did you, uh, have a route in mind?’ he asks, hands now tugging nervously at the strings on his windbreaker.
‘No, not really. I was just gonna go for half an hour and turn back. You?’
‘Sounds good. There’s, um, this coffee shop like thirty-five minutes away I thought we could head to and then come back if you’ve got the time?’
‘Sure,’ I agree. It sounds very like a date to me, but at the same time it’s just a coffee. I can gulp it down quickly and then once we’re running again we won’t have to talk.
‘Shall we go?’
I nod in reply, not trusting my words. At first, I’m slightly behind him, but once I realise it gives me a great view of his ass jiggling– which almost sends me tripping up a kerb as we cross a road– I speed up so I’m slightly ahead. Much better.
Professional thoughts.
Come on. I can do this.
I focus my eyes straight ahead and think about my calendar for this week. I run through all the meetings we have scheduled, the race weekend, the fact that it’s a sprint weekend and there’s an extra eight points available that I desperately need to keep me in contention for the championship race.
I’m doing well, until we come to a stop in front of a cute coffee shop with a little outdoor patio area. It’s got perfect vibes.
‘Oh, this looks nice,’ I comment as we step inside, the smell of freshly ground coffee beans hitting me.
‘Yeah, it has great reviews.’ We’re the only ones in the queue this early in the morning so he orders his tea and I order my coffee and we quickly take up one of the patio tables.
He’s researching good coffee shops? As a non-coffee drinker. This isn’t fair. We just agreed to forget everything that happened and keep this friendly and professional. The way I feel about him doing this for me is neither just friendly nor professional.
‘You okay?’ he asks.
‘Yeah,’ I lie, desperate to push my thoughts back into the professional zone. I shake my head to clear it. ‘Just starting to think about the week ahead. How much I could do with those extra points.’
‘You’ve got this. I’m going to make sure of it.’ He sounds like he truly believes that, too.
‘I could do without all the media commitments and that documentary filming.’ I don’t usually mind the documentary people being around, but I know they want us to film some reactions to the last bunch of races and I’m not sure I’m ready to answer all the questions that will undoubtedly be posed about my performance recently.
‘Did they tell you they’re doing a whole episode on the support teams this year? Apparently, it’s like a ‘behind the pit wall’ kind of episode. They want to get footage of the race engineers, strategists and principals.’
‘Makes sense. Unsung heroes and all that,’ I say. I can already picture it, especially with the members of certain teams who already have a solid public profile, like Cole and Ash.
Oh. And Jackson. Fuck’s sake. They’ll lap that shit up, I think. The handover of power from father and son. That’s one episode I’ll definitely be skipping.
‘I’ve signed the form to be interviewed,’ he says with an artless enthusiasm that’s incredibly charming. ‘Fingers crossed I don’t come across like too much of an idiot.’ He swirls his tea but doesn’t meet my eye.
‘You won’t. You’re way too smart for that. I’m sure you’ll dazzle them with all your–’ I wave at his face before realising what I’m doing ‘– expertise.’
He’s downright gorgeous. The girls and the gays will absolutely lap him up– expertise or not.
