‘But now, now the group is bigger and we both welcome it. Plus, obviously Harper has Kian, which has changed our dynamic. Not in a bad way– like, Harper’s found something that I couldn’t and didn’t want to give him.’
I’ve no idea how true the stories claiming the two of them were an item are, but I have no desire to pry further.
‘Yeah, him and Kian were a shock, huh? When that news broke, I had to read the article twice.’ I remember the newsblast, the way everyone in the garage stopped working and had to pinch ourselves because it didn’t feel like a possibility that there could be a couple in this sport, never mind in the same team.
Not that there’s anything wrong with Harper, it’s just that they seemed like two wildly different people.
‘I know, right! Harper was a mess when he told me. I couldn’t understand the words coming out of his mouth. I was convinced he was off his head, but now when I see them together, I can’t imagine them being apart. I’ve never seen two people more in love.’
I’ve seen the wedding pictures and that checks out. Themore I scrolled, the more a tiny bit of loneliness gnawed at my heart.
I didn’t feel lonely tonight. Not surrounded by a great group of guys, all very different but with a shared common interest. I decide to make an effort to get to know Ash and Cole, because I’m great at agreeing to things when I’m in a social situation and poor at following through.
‘Good for him. Honestly, don’t we all deserve a bit of love like that?’ says the guy whose whole life was turned upside down by a bad relationship and hasn’t been on a date ever since.
Johannes goes quiet. The strains of music from bars on the strip are now far behind us as we turn into a more residential area.
Did I say something wrong? I go over everything I’ve just said in my head and hope I haven’t offended him. After all, I hardly know him. One evening out and a couple of coffees doesn’t give me the right to pass judgement on his friend’s relationship.
The silence hangs because I’m afraid to break it. I notice Johannes shiver and I realise the man’s made no attempt to button up his shirt.
‘You want my jacket? I at least have a shirt with more buttons done up under this.’
A smile pulls at his plush lips. ‘It’s the look, you know?’
‘My chest is way too hairy for that. It would be like an auburn bush peeking through.’
‘Oh, really?’
Why did I say that? I can feel my face flushing. I’m grateful that it’s pitch-black out here and the streetlamps are doing a poor job of illuminating our way, never mind shedding light on my strawberry cheeks.
‘I rescind my offer. You shall freeze.’
‘I’m good, thanks. It’s not too far now.’
And he’s right, because as we reach the end of the path it joins the road to the complex where we’re staying and before I know it, I’m pointing out which block I’m in and he’s leading me up the path to the door of the part where most of the RBF engineers have been allocated accommodation.
We stand on a doorstep that isn’t really big enough for both of us, and I’m grateful that the security light doesn’t seem to have come on because if anyone were to look out the window right now this could seem… compromising.
Even though we aren’t actually doing anything.
Just standing really close. To the point I can hear him breathing and see the glimmer in his chocolate-brown eyes.
It would be oh-so-easy to lean in a fraction and test the waters. I’m not even sure what I’d be testing for, because this is Johannes Müller. Supermodel. Millionaire. One of the best racing drivers in the world right now. And I’m just me. A decent guy, but still an average person.
Yet there’s definitely curiosity in the way he’s looking at me, and in the way he runs his tongue across his generous bottom lip.
‘You were right earlier. We do all deserve a bit of love like that,’ he whispers into the small space between us, the night air absorbing the words before I can process what he’s referring to.
I almost throw caution to the wind. I almost kiss him, even though I have by no means forgotten what it’s like to have a man ruin your life, but before I can make the move he’s stepping backwards.
‘See you in the morning,’ he calls over his shoulder as he jogs away, small white clouds puffing from his lips as he goes.
I have to take a second to catch my breath in the cold air, hoping it’ll knock some sense into me. Because there is absolutely no reason for me to be watching Johannes until he disappears into the night. And absolutely, definitely, no reason to think about kissing him.
ChapterNine
Johannes
