‘Hey, superstar!’ Caleb calls over Ian’s shoulder, and I realise I must have zoned out while watching him, because Ididn’t even notice they were packing up.
‘Hey, Caleb, Ian.’ I offer Nils’s race engineer a nod, which he returns with a tight smile before tucking his notebook and laptop under his arm and heading back into the garage. ‘Did I say something to offend him?’
‘Ian? Nah, think he’s got a bit of a headache. Nils was chattier than normal on the radio today. Boy, he’s got a comment for literally everything, good or bad.’ He shakes his head, but he’s grinning at the same time. I can imagine watching Nils and Ian work together is a real treat.
Not that he needs to tell me about how much Nils can talk, I have to live with him when we’re in Europe. ‘He’s absolutely buzzing about coming sixth today, so I can’t blame him. He’s doing so well the second half of this season,’ I say.
‘Trust me, Ian is happy with his performance, too. In his own way.’ We both laugh, but I’m completely distracted by the way the corners of his eyes scrunch up as he laughs, even if it is a godawful sound that he produces– like a cross between a wheeze and a cackle. How have I never noticed that before? ‘You okay? I thought you’d be off celebrating already,’ he asks.
‘I had a press line a mile long to deal with first. Apparently, I made a comeback today.’ I can’t help but smirk as I say it.
‘You did, indeed. Focus was back on point, and you made well-timed decisions like the Johannes we all know and love. Itcould have been either of you for the win. Harper was sneaky today, but next time it’ll be you.’ I’ve heard it from almost every journalist out there, but it’s much sweeter hearing it from him because I know it’s genuine.
‘Thanks, man, and, fuck, I’m sorry for being such an arsehole recently. I’m not going to give you a sob story, but I shouldn’t have been rude or disrespectful to you. I hope you know that’s not the kind of guy I am.’ My parents, my mom especially, would have been so disappointed in the way I’d spoken to him. ‘And thanks for keeping me going. I mean it. It’s been a shitshow, but you’ve listened and helped and kept me motivated when I didn’t want to be motivated. I appreciate that more than you know.’
I’m word-vomiting, but I want to make sure he understands. So much of the time I don’t think we value the guys outside of the car who make every single race weekend possible.
‘You’re welcome. I’m just glad you’ve been able to pull it back?—’
‘We.We’vebeen able to pull it back. We’re a team, Caleb.’
‘Sure, yeah, but my point still stands. You work hard, Johannes. You deserve this, and we’ll prove it at the end of the season when you win the championship.’
My phone pings, and I see that it’s Harper asking for an update about whether I’m coming tonight and I realise I made sure Nils was in, but didn’t actually give Harper an answer.
‘Sorry, I have one very demanding best friend. He gets needy if I don’t respond within ten minutes,’ I tell Caleb, and quickly fire a text back letting Harper know I’m in. His response is rapid, asking how many people I’m bringing as they’re booking a table for dinner first.
‘Yeah, I can’t imagine patience is one of Harper’s finest skills, either on or off the track,’ Caleb says.
He’s tucking his things into a satchel as I contemplate what I want my next move to be. No, notmove. I’m not making any kind of move on him.
‘Do you want to get dinner?’
‘Dinner? With you?’
Yep, I see exactly how that might sound, because his face registers a confusing array of emotions. This was not the way to go about it.
‘Um, Harper’s asked me to go for dinner with him and Elijah and I’m guessing some of the other guys from the Hendersohm team– they’re pretty tight. Nils is coming, and I wondered if maybe you’d like to join us. Celebrate the weekend. Might be some drinks after if you fancy seeing the reformed and happily married version of messy Harper.’ He’ll still want to drink everyone under the table, but he’ll be sober enough to have FaceTime sex with Kian. His words, not mine.
Caleb’s eyebrows tug as he rearranges something in his bag. Shit. Maybe I should have organised dinner with just me, Nils, and Ian instead of throwing him in at the deep end. We don’t have to be besties, but it would be nice to properly get to know the guy I trust with my life. Plus, from everything I’ve seen over the last couple of weeks, I think he’d fit in well with our weird little mish-mash group of racing people we’re collecting. The group includes both of Hendersohm’s race engineers, Cole and Ash, so he could at least talk shop all night with them if he truly desires.
The silence lingers for a second too long, and now I’m trying not to regret asking him.
‘I mean, obviously you definitely don’t have to. I just thought it would be nice. I dunno, we live in this crazy bubble for nine months and it’s hard to be friends sometimes with the competition, but we make it work and I feel like you might enjoy getting away from the garage to celebrate our win, you know?’
Stop talking, Johannes, you fucking prick.
‘Yeah, um, I would, you’re right. I’m in. Text me where you guys are heading. I need to finish a few things up here and head back to my room to get changed, but I can probably be ready for seven?’
‘Perfect. I need to round up Nils. I think he’s taking selfies with every single fan in the stands! See you later.’
I throw him a wave, glad the awkward moment is over. I’m pleased he’s coming out tonight, but I wish I could read him better. I guess that’s the point of getting to know him.
* * *
Two hours later, I’m throwing yet another outfit on the floor, unable to decide what to wear. Nils walks in, fully dressed and ready to leave.
‘You can’t go out like that! Or, well, I guess you can if you want to spend the whole evening being ogled.’ Nils is the straightest person I’ve ever met, but even he’s eying my mostly naked body.
