‘I’m sure I could teach you a thing or two.’ Our eyes lock and his are ablaze with surprise and… heat? It can’t be. I must be imagining it. Fucking hell.
Shut up, Caleb. Don’t ruin it now.
The sudden jolt of the plane landing breaks the tension between us. My stomach is still churning with adrenaline.
As everyone’s phones pick up signal, there’s a series of buzzes and beeps across the cabin. I look down at the notifications on my phone, and I’m immediately met with news headlines of Kian and Harper’s wedding last night.
‘You were ‘just out with friends’ last night, were you?’ I ask, flashing the phone screen at Johannes.
He shrugs. ‘Well, you know, it was a secret wedding for a reason.’
‘You’re clearly good at keeping secrets.’
His face falls and I wish I could stuff the words back into my mouth.
‘For Harper, always.’
This man knows loyalty, even when it’s with his biggest competitor. It’s admirable– one of his best qualities. The more I get to know him, the more good qualities I see.
As soon as we hit the tarmac, Nils and Johannes are whisked away in a car to their photoshoot.
As I watch him go, I kick myself for spoiling things with my stupid comment.
ChapterFive
Johannes
When I wake up and open my eyes, for a second my mind is free of everything that went down in the UK and I can breathe. Then I sit up, and it hits me.
Tenth place.
The wedding.
The break-up.
Three monumental things in the space of twenty-four hours come at me full throttle. I feel winded.
I can find neither the energy nor the will to get out of bed. It’s Wednesday. I have two days till I’m due back at the track. These should be rest days, but I’m so booked up with appearances and events that rest is impossible. I can’t remember the last time I wasted my days off in bed, but right now I can’t imagine doing anything else.
I never cancel. I never bow out of commitments. But a moment later, I’m sending a text to my agent to get me out of anything I have today. When he asks why, I say I’m sick. Heartbreak is a form of sickness, right?
He obliges without protest– presumably because I’m normally so conscientious– and my calendar is wiped clean for the day. I want nothing more than to turn my phone off, lock my bedroom door, and be left in peace for a little while, but I know that going dark on my friends will only bring them to my door, and I don’t want that right now.
So, I reply to some texts, let people know I’m sick, then turn on the shower in my en suite. The water is scalding hot on my shaved head, but I let the water splash over me until the steam is thick and my skin feels seared. I head out into the lounge, sweating from the hot shower and clutching my water bottle like it’s a lifeline, and I force out a bit of a cough.
‘You look like shit. Don’t come near me,’ Nils warns from the couch, pulling a cushion up over his mouth and nose like a mask.
‘You’re all good,’ I croak out, pushing my bottle up against the water filter on the fridge. ‘Just filling my water bottle up and then I’m going back to bed.’
I cough a final time at the fridge for good measure, then scurry back to my room and lock the door. Mission accomplished.
Once I crash back down on my bed, reality truly hits. I hear the front door go and assume it’s Nils leaving for the gym. I am alone again. But like, really alone. Solo. Single. Alone. For the first time in almost three years. It hurts more than I thought it would, considering how strained my relationship with Jackson has actually been.
What do I do now? How do people start again after so long? After being so in love? Except I don’t feel in love right now. I don’t feel desperate to go and beg for him back. The relief I felt when I fell asleep after it was all over is still there, but now it stings.
Stings like an absolute bitch that he had the power to do this. That he strung me along for so long.
My blood bubbles angrily that I allowed that. I could have broken up with him. I could have listened every time he told me that him taking over Hendersohm was inevitable and he could not be in a relationship with the driver of a rival team. When he started dropping breadcrumbs, I shouldn’t have acted like that was all I deserved. I should have been stronger and walked away first.
