I calm myself down by texting Sanjay and replying to some emails.
When my pulse has returned to normal, I ask her what she wants to do when we get to my apartment.
“I want to order takeout, eat it in bed, and watch dumb movies with you. Watch you squirm until we fall asleep.”
“How do you know I’ll squirm?” I ask.
She laughs. Is it possible she knows me better than I think she does?
She’s right.
I’m squirming.
We order pretty much everything off the menu from the restaurant on the corner, and she makes me watchHot Tub Time Machine 2.I actually liked the first one, but the sequel just makes me angry. Not only because they don’t even attempt to make sense of the time-travel aspect—because where the fuck is John Cusack?
But mostly I squirm because her arm is around me and one hand is resting on my abs. I promised myself I would refrain from having sex tonight because we cannot afford to have sex hangovers tomorrow. I have three important meetings before checking out a potential investment in Midtown, and then we have the gala event tomorrow night, where we will have to pose for pictures.
I keep telling myself this while she’s clearing the dishes off the bed and while she casually removes her sleep shirt and climbs under the covers beside me, totally naked. While she turns away from me and says, “Good night,” with her huskyvoice and a tone that saysGood luck with that no-sex thing, buddy.
And then I drink a bottle of water, take a double dose of Vitamin C, and have New York–style sex with her—hot and dirty like Times Square in the 1970s—because she’s here and I’m here, and I may be a nerd but I’m not an idiot, and whatever power or resolve I once had to resist her got lost somewhere over the Atlantic.
I can’t believe how much this scares me, but fuck it.
I’m a genius.
I’ll figure it out.
CHAPTER 23
OLIVIA
CALLIE
Hi! Hope you’re having an AMAZING trip!
Did you know John asked Gracia to come clean our apartment again?
She’s here now.
I love her.
Also, I will waterboard you with delicious cucumber, lime, watermelon, and spring water agua fresca if you ever break up with John.
Unless we can hire Gracia even if things don’t work out between you and him. Then never mind!
ME
How much of Gracia’s iced coffee have you had today?
CALLIE
She’s already made me two servings! My brain and internal organs are perma-frozen, and I love her so much.
But how are you?!
I’m soaking in a gigantic bathtub in a luxurious spa bathroom in my billionaire fake boyfriend’s condo in Tribeca, that’s how I am! This is a whirlpool bathtub, and I have recently turned off the jets. Earlier, I held on to the edge of the tub, placed my feet on either side of one of the jets, and gave the most girl part of me an intimate hydromassage.
John is attending meetings all day. I’ve been working out and swimming, wandering around the neighborhood, and vlogging. It’s the first time I’ve lived a life of leisure in my entire life, and I don’t hate it. And I’m not even going to worry about what it means that I don’t hate it. I don’t have a care in the world as I recline in this now-still water, replying to all the texts I’ve been too busy to reply to since arriving in New York.
