I’m about to speak, but it turns out this rant isn’t over yet!
“Back to sleep at ten p.m., with sleep masks and brown noise machines on. Wake up at six thirty a.m. Breakfast on the terrace or in the garden. We’ll be slightly groggy in the morning but totally functional and adjusted to the time change.” John leads me into a stunningly appointed bedroom and places my suitcase on the rug next to the exquisite queen-size bed that he clearly does not intend to fuck me on.
“So, you aren’t planning on fucking me tonight is what you’re saying.”
Without blinking, he answers, “Correct. My plan is to fuck you once George Merrick has agreed to become the CTO of the food-tech company I have now invested over seventy-five million dollars in.”
I let my bag drop to the floor and hop onto the bed. “Oh, so I’ll get fucked as a reward if I successfully aid in securing his trust and interest in you.”
“Olivia.”
“Got it. No, I get it.”
“No, you don’t get it.” He proceeds to close the fabric blinds and floor-to-ceiling curtains. “I need to stay focused. I don’t think you understand how high the stakes are for me here.”
“Yeah. You’ll only have one billion nine hundred twenty-five million dollars left if it doesn’t work out. Did I get that math right?”
Now he’s switching on the noise machine on the bedside table and setting the digital alarm clock. “You did not get thenumbers right, no. Are you trying to get me riled up? I’m not going to be riled up. I’m going to take a nap.”
“Great. Have a restful nap.”
“I intend to, and I shall.”
“Oh, shall you? Are you going to fake an English accent too while you’re herenotfucking your fake girlfriend?!”
“Perhaps I might!”
I toss an accent pillow at him as he exits and shuts the door.
Covering my face with my hands, I declare, “This blows!” to absolutely no one, because absolutely no one is fucking me right now. I didn’t even pack a vibrator. For TSA reasons, but also because I thought for sure I wouldn’t need one, becausesurelymy fake boyfriend who masterfully cunnilinguated me in his gym intended to fuck me while we traveled.
I don’t remember what John said about when we’re supposed to shower, but I’m going to take a shower now, and then I’m going to mess up that nerd’s sleep schedule, and he’s going to thank me for it later.
It took me a few minutes to figure out how to turn the shower on, for no reason other than the fact that I haven’t slept in approximately infinity hours. I am now clean, dried off, and wearing the fancy lingerie I was planning to dazzle Johnny with when we’re in New York. But he would rather take a nap than fuck me, so this means war.
This lingerie set is see-through black tulle, the bra features an underwired half-cup that makes my tits look sensational, it only took me three tries to get the suspender belt on around my waist, and I only cried once during the thirty minutes it took to attach the garter belt clips to the thigh-high stockings.
My hair is brushed and flowing past my shoulders.
I have a pack of condoms in hand, and I am now ready to rock John’s optimized cock’s world.
As soon as I find him.
He is not in the room across the hall.
I go up another flight of stairs to where there is a short hallway with two doors, one of which is closed all the way. I open it and find a dark room that is quiet except for the noise machine and illuminated only by a digital alarm clock and the light that is now entering from the window in the hallway. I see the outline of a floor lamp in the opposite corner of the room and turn it on.
John appears to be fast asleep, which is so obnoxious.
I strut over to the bedside table to place the condoms there and to turn off the stupid noise machine. Next, I switch on the lamp, hoping to find the correct button to turn off the alarm clock. I don’t have the patience to figure it out, and it’s set to go off in eleven minutes, so I unplug the clock. I then turn off the bedside lamp and carefully remove the silk sleep mask from John’s face.
He doesn’t stir.
At all.
He is sleeping so soundly. He is a living ad for deep, restorative, sexless sleep. He is really making a case for sleep right now, the fucker.
I strike a seductive pose and say, “You awake?”
