A day later, I’ve been at work for two hours, and I can’t stop thinking about Johnny’s TED Talk. If I hadn’t known him personally before watching it, I would have instantly fallen in love with him. His topic was “How to Leverage Your Weaknesses.” He spoke about what led him to develop Brainy Biz and how he and this company have helped millions of individuals and companies connect and prosper by forcing them to become aware of their own quirks and branding themselves by calling attention to what makes them different, as opposed to familiar. There was a moment where he referred to “someone I grew up with, who has always been a friendly critic of my own particular shortcomings.” He said that he’s grateful to this person for helping him to see himself from another perspective, and rather than change who he is—as long as it’s not harming anyone—he has learned to change how he interacts with people. “For the most part.” He had this poignant smile on his face when he was talking about “this person,” and I just fucking know he was talking about me, and I love it.
I’m both touched to find out that I’ve been such a significant person in his life and also annoyed that it never occurred to him to tell me this directly.
He was somewhat self-effacing in the TED Talk. He said he realized that he sounded like a deep-learning, artificially intelligent robot, but it was like when someone made a joke about himself on a first date. It was charming, and you didn’t read into it until it was too late. At the end of the talk, the camera showed all the women in the audience applauding him like he was Deep-Learning Robot Elvis.
“Um, O?”
I snap out of it and look over to see Tara, the hostess, heading toward me. There is an enormous flower arrangement where her torso should be.
She manages to poke her head around a peony. “Hi. This just came for you. I signed for it, but there’s nowhere to put it out front. You’ll have to leave it in the break room. I think I have a hernia, so just let me know who to send the hospital bill to.”
“Oh, God. I’ll take that!” I say. “And I have a feeling the person who sent this can afford tobuyyou a hospital.”
I cradle the large vase in my arms and manage to rest it on one hip so I can get to the back without knocking anyone or anything over. This is the Johnniest romantic gesture ever. Of course, he wouldn’t even stop to consider what the hell I’m supposed to do with a forty-pound vase of flowers at work. Not that I’m ungrateful. Not that I don’t find it incredibly adorable that he did this. Although it might have been one of his assistants. The arrangement is stunning, and it includes every type of flower that I love and none that I don’t. It would be perfect if it weren’t such a fucking pain in the ass.
Kind of like Johnny.
“It’s from Hot Guy, isn’t it?” Tara says, grinning.
“Um. Probably. Thank you.” He obviously had his assistant send it for him.
Milo doesn’t offer to help me carry this gorgeous monstrosity; he just whispers, “Hate you even more now!” under his breath as he passes me by.
There’s a bench in the middle of the small break room, but I don’t want anyone to knock the flowers over, so I place them on the floor in a corner, by the trash bin. When I pull out my phone to text Johnny to thank him, I see that he has sent me a text asking if I’ve received the flowers he sent me.
ME
Just now! So beautiful! Thank you! I love them.
JOHNNY
I can have my driver pick you up after work to help you get them home. Just realized you’ll have to carry them ten blocks.
ME
Is your driver in the area?
JOHNNY
No, he’s in Palo Alto, but he’s free for a couple of hours before he has to pick me up and bring me to you for dinner.
ME
I can carry it. It’s fine!
JOHNNY
I should have another arrangement sent to your home. You can leave that one at the restaurant.
ME
There really isn’t room here. It’s fine! Thank you again.
JOHNNY
Did you see the card?
ME
