‘I think I’m eight months,’ she said.
‘Did the hospital send you here to me?’ Hope asked.
‘Yes,’ Evelina replied, nodding and thanking Hope for the coffee.
Hope sat across from her, wanting to comfort her and take away any worries she might have. She could see how nervous she was, and Hope had no idea what the hospital might have told her.
‘The reason I started this place was to help women who were made to feel unwelcome, for whatever reason, at the hospital or by their families,’ she said, wrapping her fingers around thecoffee cup. ‘I’m horrified that women are treated so badly, often because of circumstances they can’t help, and I want to provide a kind, safe home here for any pregnant women who might need me. My only worry was that the hospital might not recommend my services, sending young women to the convent instead, where the church gives very little choice to the mothers in their care.’
Just talking about the place that had taken so much from her made Hope want to cry, but she steeled herself against it. This was about helping Evelina;thiswas how she’d heal. She could cry later, when she was alone.
‘They said you find new parents for the babies, and that you care for women until the birth?’
Hope nodded. ‘I can, if that’s what the mother wants. But I’ll be honest with you, Evelina.’ She paused, knowing she needed to tell her the truth. ‘You’re the first woman to knock at my door, so this is as new to me as it is to you.’
Evelina took a sip of her coffee, her eyebrows raised. ‘You’ve never done this before?’
Hope could sense her concern, and she understood it. Maybe it would have been easier to share her story with her, so that she understood how similar their situations had been, but she wasn’t ready to open up to anyone about what had happened to her. She wasn’t sure if she ever would be.
‘I’ve only recently moved here and opened my house,’ Hope said. ‘I didn’t realise how difficult it would be to share my home with the community, to get support from those who should be helping women, but who, sadly, are coercing them by taking away choices that are rightfully theirs rather than offering them support.’ She fought against the emotion rising within her. ‘It seems that no one wants to talk about pregnancies conceived out of wedlock, even though it’s something that happens frequently to women and girls from all types of families.’
She watched the way Evelina stared down into her coffee cup, and Hope saw the tears she was trying to hide. ‘I never thought I’d have to give her up,’ Evelina said. ‘I thought I’d start a new life here, that it would be easy to find a home to rent, to establish myself…’
Hope immediately leaned across the table, reaching for her hand.
‘There’s nothing easy about being pregnant and alone, and this war isn’t going to make things any better, unfortunately. But what I can tell you is that you’re safe, and we can sit here for as long as you like and talk, if that’s what you want.’
Evelina’s fingers squeezed Hope’s as she whispered, ‘I imagined raising her on my own. I have money, but it’s running out fast, and?—’
‘You thought the father might change his mind?’ Hope asked, as gently as she could. ‘That perhaps the two of you might have had a chance together?’
Evelina’s eyes met hers. Her eyes were drowned in tears, her gaze so sad it broke Hope’s heart. But this was why she was doing this; women like Evelina were the reason she’d wanted to open her home. And who more than her knew the pain a young woman in this very situation could feel?
‘Yes,’ Evelina murmured, her voice barely audible.
‘You’re welcome to stay here with me for as long as you want, Evelina,’ Hope said. ‘Whether that’s a week or a month, whether you choose to have your baby here or not. But what I can promise you is that you’ll be safe and cared for, and so will your baby.’
‘What if I don’t want to give her up after she’s born?’
Hope fought the rising tide of overwhelming emotion, trying to push it down; to not think about those moments when she’d been so desperate to hold her own baby, when that right to choose her daughter’s future,theirfuture, was taken from her.
She took Evelina’s hand again. ‘Then you don’t have to. I established this house to give women choices, and it will be your choice and yours alone, whether you want to keep your baby and care for her, or whether you want me to find a family for her.’
Hope watched as Evelina nodded, seeing the relief on her face.
‘I can trust you?’
Hope squeezed her hand, not blinking as she fixed her gaze on Evelina. ‘You can. I’m dedicating my life to mothers and babies, and it would be a privilege for me to count you my first guest.’
A short silence stretched between them before Evelina spoke again.
‘When do I have to decide? Whether I want to stay or whether I want to…’
Hope tried not to falter over the words. ‘Put your baby up for adoption?’
Evelina began to cry then, and as she choked out a sob, it took everything Hope had not to cry along with her, as the hazy memories of her own daughter being taken threatened to overpower her. Instead, she moved her chair to sit beside her, holding Evelina in her arms and rubbing what she hoped were soothing circles on her back.
Perhaps she should have waited until she’d come to terms with what had happened in her own life, to make all this easier, but Hope knew that if she hadn’t chosen to open her doors, then Evelina would have found herself alone.
