Later that night, Hope lay in Gus’s arms in bed, the apartment quiet. It was long past the time they should have been asleep, but they were both wide awake. She doubted sleep would find her at all, and from the way Gus was staring at the ceiling, his eyes wide, she imagined that he felt the same.
‘Do you know, the first thing I thought when I saw the letter was that we could run away?’ Gus said. ‘I thought I’d come home, tell you to quickly pack a bag, and that we’d just flee. That we could still go to London.’
He held her hand and pressed it to his lips.
‘I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind,’ she said, snuggling closer to him. ‘I pictured us packing and leaving tonight, so that no one would even know we’d gone.’Could they do that still? Could they get away with it?
‘But if we did that…’
She closed her eyes as his voice trailed away. They couldn’t run. She knew that. If they did, there would be consequences for Gus if they ever returned to France, not to mention that there was a strong probability that war would be upon them soon enough. And then what would they do? What if they were caught as they were fleeing? She imagined that Gus could be sent to prison if he was caught—the consequences would be far more severe than if he’d been discovered producing their absinthe.
‘If I’d been given the letter when it was first sent to me, we would have had time to get married. We could have put a plan in place, we could have?—’
‘We’ll marry as soon as you return. Once you know when you’ll be back, even if it’s only for a short period of leave, we can have a private ceremony,’ she said. ‘You can write to me and I’ll organise everything.’
Gus brushed a kiss to her hair as he sat up, moving her in his arms so that he could lean forward and place a warm palm to her stomach. ‘Whatever happens, Hope, nothing is more important to me than you and our baby. You have to remember that. Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise, don’t ever stop believing that.’
She smiled as he kissed her stomach, his fingers feather-light as he traced circles over her skin. If she lived for a hundred years, she would never tire of the way he looked at her or the way he touched her.
‘My family will come to accept you while I’m gone, I’m certain of it.’
She hesitated before saying, ‘And if they don’t?’
His eyes met hers. ‘Then we make a new life for ourselves without them,’ he said. ‘We leave like we said we would, just as soon as I return.’
She wanted to scream and cry and refuse to let him go; to curse the world for taking Gus from her and leaving her to fend for herself. But instead she smiled and lifted his face, cupped in her palms. Because he didn’t need to see her hysterical, he needed to see her calm and capable so that he could leave in the morning without fearing for her.
‘I can’t wait to be your husband, Hope,’ Gus whispered in the dark.
She blinked away fresh tears and kissed him, his lips so soft against hers.
I can’t wait to be your wife, Gus. Just come home to me. Please, make sure you come home.
Almost six weeks after Gus had left, Hope straightened her skirt, running her hands down the front of it before walking up the steps to the door. To say that she was surprised at the invitation would have been an understatement—she certainly hadn’t expected to be invited into his family home in his absence. But in his last letter he’d written that he’d implored his family to get to know her while he was gone, and she’d thought that perhaps they’d softened, that maybe he’d been right, after all. She could hardly imagine how worried his mother would be about her only son being in the army, even if they were just training, and a little part of her hoped that maybe they’d decided to intervene and use any influence they might have to have him sent home. Which was why her heart felt as if it were in her throat as she stared upat the imposing house, that was at least twice as large as the one she’d grown up in.
Hope knocked then stood back, to be greeted by a maid who didn’t make eye contact with her and who ushered her into the front room. Hope followed, sitting and running her hand over the soft, burgundy-coloured velvet of the chair. The last time she’d sat in this room, it had been on the sofa on the other side, and if she closed her eyes she could still feel the weight of Gus’s thigh against hers, or the warmth of his hand as he reached for her, his fingers light and soft against her back. His family certainly hadn’t given any indication of wanting to welcome her then—other than his sister, of course.
‘Hello, Hope, thank you for coming at such short notice.’
She turned at the clipped, cool voice of Gus’s mother, quickly rising to greet her and expecting to embrace her and kiss each cheek. But instead of coming close to her, she stood on the other side of the low table, keeping a distance between them.
‘Thank you for?—’
‘Please, sit down,’ his mother interrupted. ‘There’s no need to stand on my account.’
Hope sat, seeing the look his mother gave her rounded stomach. Dread pooled inside her then as she saw the horrified expression pass over the older woman’s face, and she realised that maybe she should have worn something that didn’t make her pregnancy so obvious. Though it was no secret that she was expecting, so it seemed silly to try to hide it when everyone already knew.
Perhaps the invitation to join her was nothing to be thankful for after all, and something told her that she was going to wish she’d never come once she heard why she’d been summoned.
‘Have you any word from Gus?’ Hope asked, as the maid entered the room, hoping that his family might have heard from him.
The maid received a swift shake of the head from Gus’s mother when she asked if they’d want coffee, and Hope began to wring her hands, suddenly feeling as if she might be sick. The nausea from her nerves was starting to feel even worse than when she was in the early stages of her pregnancy.
‘Just the envelope will be sufficient, thank you.’
Hope’s heart lifted. Did that mean there had been news from Gus? Why else would she be asking for an envelope? Although any excitement she might have felt was quickly extinguished by the look on his mother’s face when she turned towards her again. This was no friendly meeting; that was abundantly clear now.
‘Hope, I’m certain you can understand what a predicament your…’ she sighed and positively glared at Hope’s stomach again, ‘situationhas caused my family and my son.’
