‘Gus, what are your thoughts on the conflict in Europe?’ his father asked. ‘I’ve heard that France will have to strengthen its army quickly if we’re to stand a chance against Germany.’
‘Germany is a friend to France,’ his mother declared. ‘All this talk of war is just scaremongering, don’t you think?’
‘Regardless of whether it is or not, we’d be foolish not to take it seriously, and it was Gus’s opinion I asked for,’ his father said belligerently. ‘Who knows what could happen with that madman growing in popularity?’
Hope had purposely tried not to listen to any rumours of a possible war in Europe, but for once, she was relieved the conversation had turned to anything other than her.
Later that night, Hope sat in bed, the covers drawn up to her waist as she tried not to think about what a disaster the evening had been.
She’d temporarily forgotten about her stomach, and thankfully this time it only did a small lurch when she took a sip of the drink Gus passed her. She put it down to the dinner she’d eaten, rather than drinking on an empty stomach. Or perhaps the interrogation from his mother had been enough to make her feel unwell.
‘They hate me,’ she declared, trying not to pout as she reached for her cigarette case and took one out. ‘Even a fool could have seen that.’
Gus sat down next to her on the bed, their legs stretched out in front of them, backs against the headboard, and she offered him the cigarette. He’d been quiet ever since they arrived home, even as he’d held her hand tightly all the way back to their apartment.
‘They don’t hate you, they just don’t know you,’ he said, blowing the smoke away from her and passing it back. ‘Besides, we knew this wasn’t going to be easy. They’ll accept you when they realise how serious I am.’
They sat in silence, smoking and sipping, until Gus spoke again. She didn’t want to ask him what might happen if they never accepted her, and what it might mean for them.
‘Anyway, they’ll have no choice but to accept you once we’re married,’ he said.
Married?She put her drink down and turned to Gus. ‘You can’t just say things like that! Marriage is something else entirely.’
‘You haven’t thought about us getting married? You haven’t pictured a future together that involves us reading our vows?’ He shook his head. ‘Hope, I wouldn’t have invited you to live with me if I didn’t want to marry you.’
‘Of course I’ve thought about it!’ Marriage might not have been something she’d wanted or thought of before, but this was different.Guswas different. If she married Gus it would be because she wanted to, not because someone else was telling her to. ‘But you’ve never said anything, so I didn’t want to presume. We’ve never really talked about what this is, or what we’re doing together.’
He took the forgotten cigarette from between her fingers, and she had the sudden realisation that he was enjoying teasing her.
‘I think your sister is the only one who’d approve of us marrying, anyway,’ Mia said. ‘Your mother will probably have a list of suitable young women ready for you tomorrow, to get you away from me.’
‘Let her try, Hope,’ Gus said with a grin. ‘But I’m certain they’d run at the faintest hint of a scandal, and me living with a beautiful woman and running an illegal business would probably put off even the most desperate of her candidates.’
Hope laughed, but he wasn’t wrong.
‘Besides, there’s no one else I want. There is no one but you, Hope. I promise.’
She sighed, even though his words meant so much to her. ‘I only hope your father doesn’t find out what we’ve been doing. The way he spoke tonight…’
Gus didn’t look worried at all as he extinguished the cigarette and finished his drink, his hungry gaze telling her exactly what he’d like to be doing with her, and it didn’t involve talking about his parents.
‘If he was going to find out, he would have by now. Which means we have the best-kept secret this side of the Swiss border.’
‘You’re certain about that?’
‘I am.’ He leaned in closer. ‘He’s never going to find out, Hope. I’ve been too careful with everything, from the building to the drivers.’
Hope let him kiss her, temporarily distracted by his touch. She only hoped he was right, because after meeting his father, she could see what a formidable enemy he’d be to them both, and something told her that he was a man who it would be almost impossible to keep anything from.
21
Hope stood and stared at herself in the small mirror in their bathroom, wiping at her face with a damp washcloth. She’d been sick all morning, having sent Gus off to work and telling him that she’d be fine after resting, but the queasy feeling at the bottom of her stomach wasn’t going away, and it had been replaced by a feeling of pure dread.
There was no other explanation for how sick she’d been or how tired she felt, or how tender her breasts were when she prodded them. Not when combined with the fact that she hadn’t had her monthly courses in…She tried to think back and remember when the last time had been. Was it two months? They’d been so busy since she’d arrived, as if they were in their own little world, but she should have realised sooner. She should have been more careful, they both should, and now she didn’t know what to do.
I’m pregnant.
Even thinking it in her own head was terrifying, but to say it out loud, to tell Gus…Hope groaned and sank to the floor, the tiles cool against her skin. This was not part of her plan. For years she’d told herself that she wouldn’t be married or pregnant until she decided she wanted to be, but here she was, expecting ababy when she most definitely hadn’t planned for one. Gus had spoken of marriage, but she’d wanted him to ask her when he was ready, for them both to choose what they wanted rather than being forced into a decision.
