It had been the perfect way to end the day as far as Mia was concerned. The weather had been balmy, the restaurant was barely a ten-minute walk from their accommodation and the food had been fabulous. Not to mention she was struggling to keep her eyes off Joe. He’d been so easy to talk to that it had been hard to remember they weren’t actually on a date, and it wasn’t helping that Ella had encouraged her to be a little reckless.
‘I think we go to the distillery, ask a few questions and show them your bottle, and see if we can’t arrange a visit to the elderly man my mother mentioned,’ he said. ‘Maybe we could even show the bottle around, see if anyone knows anyone else who might be able to help us?’
‘Even just talking to someone who was in the industry when Hope was might feel like a step forward. I just, well, I have the strangest feeling in my bones that I’m following the right path, but I know full well that might be me getting carried away. Maybe I just want it to be true.’
‘There’s every reason to believe you’re right, Mia,’ he said. ‘And I think you’ll be surprised at how much some of these people know. If their families have lived and breathed this industry for generations, then it’s likely you will discover something tomorrow.’
Mia nodded, happy to follow Joe’s lead, and they sat a while longer, chatting about everything and nothing, before it was suddenly time to go. Joe insisted on paying and before she knew it they were walking back, and she was wishing the walk would never end—wishing that she’d suggested dessert, or a walk or quite franklyanythingthat would have made their time together last a little longer.
‘Well, I guess this is goodnight,’ he said, and she watched as he pushed his hands into his jeans pockets.
‘Joe,’ she said, looking up at him and thinking how easy it would be to become lost in those cocoa-brown eyes.
He watched her, expectantly.
‘In the car, you said something about this not being a charade.’ She swallowed, her skin igniting at the way he was looking at her, or maybe it was from the two glasses of wine that had gone down so easily. ‘Did you mean it?’
‘Do you want this to not be a charade?’ he asked.
Mia didn’t know what she wanted, but as she stared up at him, finding it impossible to look away, she slowly shook her head.No, Joe, I do not want this to be a charade. I want to know you really want to be here.
Joe nodded and took one step forward, and then another, and her gaze dropped from his eyes to his mouth.
‘I don’t want this to be a charade either, Mia,’ he murmured. ‘I was being truthful when I suggested it, but pretending this isn’t real feels a long way from the truth now.’
‘We barely know each other,’ she whispered.
‘I know.’
She swallowed again, hard, as he slowly dipped his head, his fingers curling softly around her chin as he angled her face to meet his.
He’s going to kiss me.
Her heart was pounding, but the second his lips hovered over hers, the moment they were about to touch, she couldn’t go through with it. She couldn’t kiss him.
He’s not Ethan.
She looked up at him, into his eyes, her fingers splayed against his chest, her breath fast as she registered the confused look on his face.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered as she pushed away. ‘I can’t do this, I’m not ready, I…’
His eyes told her that he understood, but she didn’t wait long enough to hear what he was about to say.
‘Mia—’
She fled then, fumbling with her key and hurrying into her room. She closed the door behind her and sank to the floor, her head in her hands, her chest heaving as she fought for breath.
Get up.
She gulped air, drawing her knees in to her chest, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her.
Get up.
The voice in her head was becoming louder, drowning out her fears, telling her how stupid she was for being so scared.
Ethan wouldn’t have wanted her to hide from the world; he would have been the first person to tell her that life was for living. He would have told her to kiss all the men and dance at all the parties, to follow her dreams and let nothing stop her. He would have hated to think of her living the rest of her life alone.
You get one chance at life, Mia. So go out there and live it.
