‘I’ll always love painting, but I wonder if I wanted to be an artist because I didn’t know what else I could be,’ she said, uttering the words out loud after holding them inside for so long. ‘I don’t ever want to stop painting or making things, but what’s most important to me is keeping my independence. That’s what I’m prepared to fight for.’
Gus stepped towards her, and she didn’t back away when he reached for her. His hand came up to softly cup her face, and she found herself staring into his eyes, his breath touching her skin.
They’d touched before, but never like this, and Hope found that her breath hitched as she parted her lips, waiting for him to kiss her. She might have been fiercely independent and older than her years in many ways, but one thing she’d never done was kiss a boy. She’d never truly wanted it before; never understood why so many of the girls she’d grown up with had swooned at the thought ofanyboy kissing them. She’d been too focused on her independence for that.
And now, all Hope could think was that it had been worth the wait for the kiss to be with Gus.
His hand slipped down her cheek and neck, skimming along her arm until it came to rest on her hip, but his lips never strayed from hers. Not until they were both breathless, her lips feeling bruised as Gus stroked her hair from the nape of her neck all the way down to the middle of her back.
‘Come with me,’ he said, whispering against her ear as he held her close.
Go with him?
As if sensing her question, he smiled down at her, gently stroking her hair again. ‘I know you want to be independent and not have a man whisk you off your feet, but you’ve just told me that you want to try your hand at something else. You’ve told me that you need something more, that you need a new dream.’
‘Gus, I can’t just give up everything I have here and leave with you. I’ve fought so hard to even be here, on my own.’I can’t say yes. I can’t just leave on a whim with you, Gus. I can’t change my life for a man, even one as incredible as you. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t.
His smile made her want to take back the words and the angry thoughts, because for the first time she could see howpeople fell in love so quickly, something she’d never understood before. There was a part of her that wanted to fall into his arms and let him take care of her, to throw caution to the wind and follow her heart. But she knew better than that. She wouldn’t have survived so long on her own if she didn’t.
‘What if it were for a business opportunity?’ he asked.
‘With your father’s company? I know nothing about gin.’
‘Hope, I haven’t been entirely honest with you,’ he said, slowly letting go of her and taking a small step back.
Hope stared up at him, unblinking, as fear caught her like a hand around her throat. Was this when she’d find out that he’d lied to her all this time? That she’d been a fool to give him her trust? She closed her eyes for a beat. What opportunity could he possibly be talking about if it didn’t involve his family’s business?
‘What have you kept from me?’ she whispered.
‘It’s about my business interests.’
‘Your family doesn’t have a gin distillery?’ she asked as her heart began to pound.Please don’t let it be something worse, something that would break her heart. ‘Did you just tell me that to try and impress me?’Why did he just ask me to go with him if it was all a lie?
‘Nothing I told you was a lie, Hope, but I omitted part of the truth,’ Gus said. ‘I’ve been in Paris, particularly at the types of bars that you and your friends frequent, because I have a small business of my own. I didn’t lie about my parents’ distillery, it’s how I have so many contacts, and I will have to continue working for them. But I can’t ask you to come with me without telling you everything.’
Hope blinked, still staring at him, waiting for him to continue, her heart rate slowing a little. ‘What type of small business?’
Gus didn’t answer immediately, and she felt anger rising inside her. She’d trusted him, and now he couldn’t answer a simple question?
‘What type?—’
‘I distil absinthe,’ he said, quietly, as if someone might overhear them. ‘I’ve only made a small amount, and if my parents found out they’d be furious, not to mention that I could be arrested.’
‘Absinthe?’ she repeated. ‘But it’s illegal.’
Gus nodded. ‘It is.’
‘You lied to me about making an illicit spirit that is revered by artists and writers throughout France? That is thelifebloodof the creative world?’
He nodded again as Hope began to laugh, tipping back her head, unable to help herself. Relief coursed through her as she understood what he was telling her; he’d hidden it from her because if he were caught, he could be arrested.
‘I didn’t expect you to find it so amusing,’ he said, his face still contorted into a grimace. ‘I was worried you’d?—’
‘Gus,’ she said, stepping forward and taking his hands in hers. ‘I thought you were going to confess that you had a wife, or…’ Hope shook her head, now not wanting to detail all the things running through her mind. She’d never been so relieved. ‘But absinthe? I was not expecting that. An illegal bootlegger! I can’t believe you kept it from me all this time, with all the conversations we’ve had, but I understand.’
Maybe she should have been more upset, but compared to what she’d conjured in her imagination, it could have been far, far worse. And in the world she lived in, there was nothing more revered than a green cocktail.
He glanced down at the hand she held, his fingers gentle as they strummed lightly over hers.
