She’d never believed in fate, and she wasn’t about to start now.
14
Hope didn’t know where the time had gone. One moment, she was closing her sketchbook and accepting a drink from a handsome stranger and now, hours later, they were walking slowly down the footpath, his coat draped across her shoulders. Somehow, they’d talked for most of the night, until the restaurant was closing and they’d had to leave, and she was finding that the last thing she wanted was for the night to be over. One drink had led to another, which had led to dinner, and now they were on their way home. He’d insisted on walking her to her apartment, and even though she’d started to protest, Gus wouldn’t hear of it, and she liked what a gentleman he was.
‘Have you always lived in Paris?’ he asked.
Hope smiled across at him as they stopped, arms resting on the bridge as they faced the dark water below. Paris looked so different at night, but she loved every part of the city, and she knew she’d never tire of it.
‘My family comes from a village a few hours away by train,’ she told him. ‘They could never understand my fascination with the city.’ She paused. ‘Or the life I wanted to lead.’
‘What kind of life is that?’ he asked, turning to her. ‘If you don’t mind me asking.’
She snuggled deeper into his jacket, liking the smell of his cologne that clung to the collar. It was unlike her to be so taken with a man, but there was something about Gus that had drawn her straight in and made her want to spend as long with him as she possibly could. On the few dates she’d gone on since moving to Paris, she would have a drink or dinner and then make up an excuse to leave, but Gus was different. It was the first time a man had seemed genuinely interested in her; asking questions and seeming to want to hear the answers rather than finding a way to talk about himself. With Gus, she felt unusually comfortable. She also didn’t feel that he’d laugh at her when she told him about her dreams to be an artist.
‘My parents didn’t want me to go to school, and they liked the idea of me being married off as soon as possible. It was almost as if I was an inconvenience because I wanted a life, because I didn’t want to be transferred from my father’s care to another man’s, and when I refused, I had to leave.’ She paused, watching his expression. ‘I wanted more than the life they had, and I don’t know why, but I wanted something different.’
Gus reached out and touched a strand of her hair, but his hand fell away as quickly as it had risen, and she wished he hadn’t second-guessed himself. She’d never wanted a man to touch her so badly in her life before, and if she’d been braver she might have reached out her hand to his. Her fingers trembled as she uncurled them, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
‘Sorry, I—’ He cleared his throat. ‘What do you mean when you say you wanted a life?’
Hope looked away, out into the endless dark of the night sky and the water below, wondering if she’d regret being honest with him. So few people understood what she wanted, other than the arty crowd she’d found herself moving within. But even they were different from her; they’d all grown up near the city and came from families so unlike hers. ‘I don’t want to get marriedand be told that the only thing I’m worthy of is having babies. Not yet.’
She gasped, having barely paused for breath, realising that she’d said far more than she’d intended.
‘I suppose I’d never really thought about all that before.’
Hope sighed, appreciating his honesty. She imagined most menhadn’tever thought of it. ‘It’s true though, isn’t it? It’s all women are good for, in the eyes of most men anyway. But I want more, and as long as I can provide for myself, I’m determined not to give in.’ She shook her head. ‘I can’t go home, no matter how hard it is to keep myself here.’
‘It’s like there’s something burning inside of you, Hope,’ he said, his eyes fixed on hers. It was like someone else was seeing her,trulyseeing her for the first time. ‘Maybe your family was scared of your ambition? Or maybe you were born before your time, because it’s possible things won’t always be this way.’
Gus was right, therewassomething burning inside her. It had flared to life when she was just a girl, fighting to go to school just like her brothers, even though her father had done everything to discourage her. And that flame hadn’t disappeared even when she’d moved to the city and struggled to pay her rent, with barely any money to her name. She didn’t care how hard it was; she wasn’t going home with her tail between her legs. She’d left her family behind, she’d left her village behind, and she had no intention of ever going back. Going home would be failing at doing the one thing she’d always wanted.
His smile was kind when he leaned in a little closer. ‘Maybe that’s why it’s taken me so long to talk to you,’ he said. ‘There’s something different about you. I could tell just from the way you were sitting, so immersed in whatever it was you were working on.’
Hope couldn’t believe that he’d watched her from afar before tonight. And she wasn’t sure if it was a line, or if he was beinggenuine, but she had no intention of leading him on. ‘If you’re looking for a girl to settle down with?—’
‘I’m not,’ he interrupted. ‘I’m not so different to you, in the fact that I’ve resisted all my mother’s efforts to introduce me to young women she thought would be suitable for me. But I just, when I saw you again tonight, I wanted to meet you, even if it was only for a few minutes.’
They stood for a long moment, and she thought he might kiss her, but instead he held out his arm for her, and Hope tucked her hand through it. She resisted the pull to drop her head to his shoulder as they walked, her low heels clicking on the pavement in the otherwise silent night air. For the first time in a long while, she didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t not like it.
‘Where are you from, Gus?’ she asked as they walked, suddenly wanting to know more about him.
‘I’m from a village near the Swiss border,’ he said. ‘My family is like yours, very traditional, but I’m their only son. I suppose I’m fortunate in that I’ve always wanted to work in our family’s gin distilling business. If I hadn’t wanted to, I can’t imagine how they might have reacted.’
‘You have no siblings?’ she asked.
‘A sister, but she’s eight years younger than me,’ he said. ‘Perhaps, after speaking to you tonight, I will fight for her if she wants to stay in school and do something more with her life. Stand up to my parents if she chooses to challenge them.’
His words warmed Hope’s heart; the fact that this man had listened to her and been thoughtful enough to think of his own sister…she’d never been quite so taken by surprise. Many of the other artists she’d met were free spirits, but that was not unusual. Gus, on the other hand, was most unexpected.
‘How long are you in Paris for, Gus?’ she asked, slowing her walk as they neared her apartment.
‘Just for a few days.’
She nodded, disappointed. But what had she expected? She’d told him that she didn’t want to get married, that she wasn’t a good French girl doing what was expected of her, so she had no right to be sad that he was going. She doubted he’d want to see her again, anyway. Not after making it clear that she didn’t need or want a man, even if his thoughts did seem more modern than other young men she knew.
‘This is my apartment block, here,’ Hope said, slipping her hand from his arm and taking the coat from her shoulders, wishing they’d had a little farther to walk. She’d convinced herself she wasn’t interested in meeting a man, but she was starting to wonder if that was just a story she’d told herself to avoid feeling lonely. Or maybe she’d convinced herself that the type of man she wanted didn’t exist, and then along came Gus and made her wonder what it would be like not to be lonely anymore.
