You can’t be gone, Oskar. You can’t be.
Just come home to me. Please, let this be a horrible dream. Just come home.
Amalie didn’t leave her bed for three days. She kept her curtains drawn and her bedcovers pulled over her. Rachel sent up a maid who insisted on spoon-feeding her chicken broth and something to help her sleep, and Amalie obeyed only because she didn’t want the child growing inside of her to go without. But she refused to rise or leave the bedchamber.
Until the same maid came back, this time not with broth but with a renewed determination to get Amalie out of bed. She pulled the curtains wide and let in the sunshine, before throwing back the covers.
‘It’s time to bathe,’ she insisted.
Amalie groaned but let her guide her from the bed to the bath that had already been drawn. She raised her arms like a child as the maid stripped her nightgown from her, and obeyed when she told her to get into the tub. She didn’t even know the woman’s name, but her touch was gentle and she washed her hair for her, and her words became even kinder.
‘I can see that you’re in the family way,’ the maid said.
Amalie had thought she was all out of tears, but more filled her eyes now that someone had said her secret out loud.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ Amalie whispered.
‘Rachel will ask you to leave once she finds out. She won’t want an unmarried pregnant woman in the house, not with the children here. And there’s been a letter.’
Amalie froze. ‘A letter?’
‘From your Mr Oskar’s family. I overheard her and Mr Benjamin talking.’
‘Where will I go?’ Amalie asked as fear gripped her. ‘What am I supposed to do? I only have enough money to tide me over, without Oskar…’ She closed her eyes and slipped beneath the warm bathwater, only for the maid to hold her head up by her long hair.
‘I know a place. You’ll be safe there, and you won’t be forced to make any decisions you don’t want to.’
Amalie considered her words, realising what kind of place this woman was talking about, the kind of place that women like her ended up in when they were pregnant and alone.
‘I know what you’re thinking, but it’s called Hope’s House. I have a friend who’s a midwife, she’s told me all about the woman there, and I can tell you that she’s not like anyone else.’
‘You know where this Hope’s House is?’ Amalie asked.
‘I do, and I’ll even take you there myself if you need me to. Women like us have to stick together in times of need.’
Amalie reached for her hand. ‘I don’t know what I’ve done for you to be so kind to me, but thank you.’
‘I can tell you’re not like Miss Rachel and her friends, that’s why I want to help.’
‘I don’t even know your name,’ Amalie whispered.
‘Helen,’ she said. ‘My name is Helen.’
Amalie cried as Helen rinsed her hair and sponged her body, caring for her in a way that no one had cared for her in a very long time, not since she was a girl.
‘Everything will be all right, I promise. You just need to give it a little time.’
Amalie bit down on her lip, trying not to think about Oskar, even though his face was all she could see every time she closed her eyes.
Time was going to do nothing to heal her pain. Not with a child on the way.
23
‘I hate doing this to you, Amalie, you know how fond we are of you and how special Oskar was to us,’ Rachel said. ‘I wish we could have had you to stay for longer.’
Amalie forced a smile as they stood awkwardly by the door, her suitcase at her heel and a bag slung over her shoulder. Rachel had packed a fresh loaf of bread for her as if she was seeing her off on a picnic, and kept talking as if they would be great friends who’d see each other again soon, but Amalie was no fool. This woman wanted her out of her house before there was even a hint of scandal, and she couldn’t imagine what Oskar’s mother had said in her letter.
‘Thank you for having me,’ Amalie said politely, biting her tongue when it came to what else she’d like to say.
