‘In the beginning, I’d go to call Elly or send a message all the time, just the little things that I’d usually share with her, and then it would hit me that she was gone,’ he said. ‘It’s taken me a long time to stop doing that. Even meeting you, my first thought was how much she would have liked you, and trust me when I say I know how strange that sounds.’
Charlotte swallowed, a lump forming in her throat as she listened to him.
‘It’s one of the reasons I took this job and chose to come to Norway. I could have done much of the design work for the hotel in London and just travelled to the site when needed, but moving gave me the chance to start over, in a way. I was able to immerse myself in work rather than face what had happened.’
‘And now?’ she asked.
‘I can’t not think about her sometimes, about how much she would have loved something, but it’s not the thudding pain it was in the beginning. It’s more of a reminder of what we had, if that makes any sense at all.’
‘When my mum left us, the hardest part was all the times when I wanted to tell her something. I’d go to call out to her or text her, or even just walk past her bedroom, and it was such a punch to the gut knowing I couldn’t share it with her.’
Charlotte had never opened up to anyone properly before about her mother, not even her friends, because at the time she’d been so embarrassed and confused about why it had happened. And she’d also expected her mother to come walking back in the door one day, for it all to have been a big misunderstanding, imagining that maybe she’d just needed a break.
‘I remember once, when I had really bad period cramps, and my dad and brother were yelling at me to hurry up. I was too embarrassed to tell them, which seems silly now, but as a teenager those things are so hard to talk about. And I remember just thinking that if only Mum were there, she’d have understood. I wouldn’t have had to explain it, because she would have been the one person who got it.’
‘I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you at that age.’
‘My grandmother told me once that one day I’d look back and realise that everything I went through had served to makeme the strong woman I’d grown into,’ she said. ‘At the time, I couldn’t understand, but now I get it. I guess I learnt how to be resilient the hard way.’
‘No offence to your grandma, because I’m sure she’s right, but I hated all the people who’d tell me that I should be grateful for all the good times we had together,’ Harrison said. ‘I’d be like, and please excuse my language, butfuck you. You have no idea the pain I’m going through, and I don’t need your pep talk.’
Charlotte burst out laughing, and as she tried to bite her bottom lip to stop, Harrison started to laugh, too.
‘I’m sorry, it’s just you’re so right. Screw the unnecessary pep talks,’ she said.
‘Hell, yes! Screw the pep talks!’
When their laughter finally subsided, Charlotte went to say something else, but her words caught in her throat.
‘Harrison, stop,’ she whispered.
He held his paddle when he saw that she’d stopped paddling, and Charlotte pointed ahead to what she was looking at. There, in the near distance, was the unmistakable rise and fall of dorsal fins gliding through the water.
‘I don’t believe it,’ he said, glancing over at her.
And so they sat there, their kayaks bumping together as they watched the small pod of dolphins moving through the water. There was something about seeing nature up close and personal that made a fresh lump form in Charlotte’s throat, and when two of the dolphins leapt out of the water in play, she placed a hand over her heart. It was one of the most special things she’d ever witnessed in her life.
They sat quietly and watched them until they disappeared into the distance, and when she looked across at Harrison, she saw everything that she was feeling reflected straight back at her.
‘Thank you for today,’ she said. ‘I would never have thought to book kayaks, but it’s been perfect.’
‘Well, I can’t take credit for the dolphins, but when you see the whales that I organised…’
Charlotte laughed, giving him a push in jest, which she seriously regretted when her boat began to tip side to side, threatening to wobble her straight out into the water.
‘Lunch,’ Harrison declared once they’d steadied themselves. ‘Let’s find somewhere to pull the boats in. And if you’re game, I think we should swim.’
A short time later, Charlotte and Harrison had found a perfectly secluded spot and had consumed the most thoughtful picnic lunch, full of freshly baked breads, cold meats and cheeses, and they were now spread out, lying in the sun. It was nothing short of perfect, as far as relaxing days went, and she didn’t want it to be over.
‘You know, maybe I could get the hang of this lying about, relaxing business,’ Charlotte said, rolling onto her side to look at Harrison.
He reached out and strummed his fingers across her skin, staring back at her. His gaze made a now familiar heat pool in her belly, and she wriggled closer, intending to kiss him.
‘Funny, I was just about to suggest a swim,’ he said.
They lay there a while longer, him tracing a pattern on her skin and her lying still as she blinked back at him.
‘Are you happy?’ she asked. ‘Right now?’
