‘Valentina Santiago, I’ve loved you since you were a girl and I was a boy, and I will love you until my dying breath,’ he said. ‘I just wish I knew how to live without you.’
‘Live knowing that your love is returned, and that it’s okay to be in love with your wife and still love me. Just as I will always be a mother even though I will never hold my child in my arms again.’
She watched as Felipe’s tears left his cheeks damp, at the same time as a steely resolve settled over her. She’d fought, andwon. She’d loved, and lost. But she was still here, on the land that had meant everything to her father, with her entire future ahead of her.
‘Goodbye, Felipe,’ she said, turning away from him and nudging her heels against her horse’s sides.
But unlike when she said her final farewell to her daughter, this time she did look back. Valentina turned in the saddle and glanced at the man she loved one last time, before urging her horse into a canter and racing back to the stables.
She doubted she’d ever ride again; it was something she had only ever done to be close to Felipe, but she had another idea. She would continue to foster her father’s love of polo and open the estate to retired ponies, breeding only a handful of new horses each year to ensure the bloodlines he’d been so passionate about weren’t lost. And she would sponsor young riders who had the talent but not the finances to play polo, to make the sport accessible to all.
There were dark days ahead, with the war still raging through Europe, but her father would have been the first to tell her to look forward; to visualise a future after the darkest of days. She may have lost the love of her life, but her life was still hers to live, on her terms, with no man dictating to her what her future looked like.
And as she slowed to a walk when the stables came into view, giving her horse time to cool down, Valentina vowed to make the very most of her life.
She would never stop watching over her daughter, and she would never stop loving Felipe, but it didn’t mean her life wasn’t worth living. To the contrary, it meant she knew what true love was, and for that, she would always be grateful.
30
PRESENT DAY
Rose stared at the test in her hand. She’d thought it was scary when she’d first waited for a Covid test to show two lines, but seeing the two dark red lines on the pregnancy test was like nothing she’d ever experienced before, and she had no idea whether to be excited or terrified or both.
‘Sweetheart, I thought you could use a coffee,’ Benjamin said as he pushed open the door.
She looked up, her eyes meeting his as the smile on his face hovered into something resembling shock. Rose was surprised he didn’t drop one of the two coffee cups he was holding.
‘That’s a, a?—’
‘Pregnancy test,’ she whispered, curling her toes against the cold tiles as her stomach lurched.
‘A pregnancy test,’ he repeated, as if he wanted to say something but was at a loss for words so just repeated what she’d said.
‘I’m pregnant.’
Benjamin started nodding. ‘Right. I, ahh, I’m just going to set these cups down here.’
Rose was about to reach for him when he disappeared, and she found herself dropping the test in the bin and staring intothe still-full coffee cups he’d left behind.I’m going to lose him. Tears pricked her eyes as she placed both hands on the basin, turning on the water and running her hands beneath it for something to do.
Everything had felt as if it were falling into place, as if it was meant to be, and now she felt as if history was repeating itself. Only she had control over her own body and her own life in ways that her great-grandmother hadn’t.
After taking a moment to gather herself, she picked up one of the cups, lifting the steaming liquid to her lips to take a sip. She couldn’t see any point in letting the coffee go to waste.
But when she walked out of the bathroom, she was surprised to see Benjamin walking back into the room.
‘Sorry, I?—’
‘It’s fine, it came as a shock to me, too.’
‘It’s not that,’ he said, as he came towards her and took the cup from her hands, setting it down beside the bed.
‘Honestly, it’s fine. I’ve only just come back and?—’
‘Rose, stop,’ he said, taking her hand and shaking his head. ‘Just stop and let me talk for a moment, would you?’
Rose pressed her lips together, seeing how serious Benjamin looked. But it wasn’t until he dropped to one knee that she understood what was happening.
‘Rose, this isn’t how I planned this, but?—’
