I won’t let her do this, Papa. I won’t let her take away everything you wanted, I promise. I will spend the rest of my life making you proud.
And she wouldn’t stop seeing Felipe, either. He might not be wealthy or from a landowning family, and he would never live up to her mother’s expectations, but he loved her, and right now she needed to be held, to be comforted by someone who’d loved and respected her father. By someone who knew her for whom she truly was, and who knew the man her father had been.
Valentina whispered her goodbyes to her papa and tiptoed from the room, taking off her shoes so she could walk silently through the house and slip out the door, running across the grass barefoot and not stopping until she came to the stables where she knew he would be waiting for her.
Felipe would know what to do, and if he didn’t, then they would both find a way to honour her father’s name and be together.
15
PRESENT DAY
Rose stood in front of the wardrobe and tried to tell herself that she wasn’t doing anything wrong. But it still felt strange to be going through the private things of another without permission.
She gave you permission when she left everything to you in her will.
Rose stood on tiptoe and took the large plastic box down that had been placed on one of the shelves—not hidden away but in full view, almost as if it might have recently been opened. She’d already looked through the clothes and other personal effects that had been left behind, but they were simply the clothes of a petite older woman, as well as some very impressive pieces of jewellery that she presumed had been gifted to Valentina when she was much younger. Rose would have them carefully packed away and stored while she considered what, if anything, to do with them, but her curiosity had been piqued with the discovery of the box.
Holding it, she sat on the bed, opening the lid and gasping when she found a matching piece of blue silk to the one she’d found in her tiny box. She took it out and felt the familiar touch of the soft fabric, before setting it aside and carefully going through the rest of the contents in the box.
There were a handful of photos in an envelope, and she took them out and slowly looked through each one, smiling at the beautiful girl looking back at her. Valentina had been a gorgeous child, with thick almost-black hair that curled down to her waist, and the biggest eyes Rose had ever seen. There was a man beside her in some of the photos, sporting a thick moustache and a smile that always seemed to be directed towards the young girl, presumably her father, and in one of the photos there was a very attractive woman, slender and tall, with enough of a resemblance to the child to make Rose believe she was Valentina’s mother.
Rose ran the tip of her index finger over the face of the little girl, studying her before filing the photos back into the envelope. There was another photo that she found once she put the envelope aside, of a young man sitting on a horse and holding a polo mallet. Rose turned the photo over to see if it had anything written on it, and she was pleased to find the nameFelipealong with the date 1938. She stared at it a while longer before going through the rest of the treasures, knowing in her heart that these were the things that Valentina had held dear, the things that she hadn’t wanted to part with, for them to have been kept in the box, separate from her other belongings.
There was a little velvet box, which held a small gold ring, and she ran her thumb over it and held it up, hoping to find an engraving on the inside and smiling when she did.
She held it a while longer, before trying to fit it on her ring finger and failing. Valentina’s hands must have been incredibly petite, as the only finger Rose could slip it onto was her little one. She stared at it, wondering who Felipe was and why his name had never come up when the lawyer had given her the name of Valentina’s one and only husband, from whom she’d received an annulment. Rose guessed the ring was from her wedding, although she couldn’t be sure.
There was a pretty dress with soft blue dots on it at the very bottom of the box, along with a well-loved teddy bear with its arms barely hanging on by a thread. Rose placed the teddy on her bed, propped against the pillows, and took out one of the last things in the box: a small bottle of perfume. She took off the lid and held it to her nose, expecting it to either smell bad or not at all after so many years, but the scent was divine still and reminded Rose of the peonies her mother had had such a penchant for. She dabbed some to her wrists and behind her ears, liking the fact that she had something to connect her to the great-grandmother she’d never known.
But as much as a trip down memory lane she imagined the contents of the box had been for Valentina, to her they only told snippets of a story that failed to provide answers to any of the questions she had. Her only clue to the past was the name Felipe, who must have meant a great deal to Valentina for her to have a ring with their names engraved inside it.
And the piece of silk. She’d left it behind for her daughter all those years ago, and she’d kept a matching piece for herself, which showed just how important it must have been. Rose reached for it again, lifting the silk to her face and inhaling, as if the scent of it might give her another clue. But it smelt of nothing.
Who were you, Valentina, and why, with everything at your disposal, did you choose to place your daughter for adoption? Why did you never come back for her?
Part of Rose wondered if she’d ever find out the answers she sought, and after she’d packed the box away, she tucked herself up in bed, hugging one of the pillows tight to her as she thought about her Mum. She would have given anything to have her to talk to. To tell her about Benjamin and their day at the polo, to ask her about her grandmother and whether she’d even hinted at being adopted, to have her to explore Argentina with and to poreover all the clues from the past, so they could try to figure out the mystery together.
She squeezed her eyes shut tight, knowing that it didn’t help to wish for what could never be, but finding it impossible not to when all she wanted was her mum back.
You never did tell me how I was supposed to navigate life without you, Mum.
If only there were a manual for how to deal with losing the single most important person in your life. Because if there was, Rose would have been first in line to buy it.
The next day, Rose was sitting outside in the courtyard, tucked beneath the shade of the pergola looking over the latest round of documents sent from the lawyer, when Benjamin appeared. He looked dusty and hot—the exact opposite of how she felt—and she smiled, putting down what she’d been reading, happy to see him. She’d been hoping to see him since the polo game on Saturday, but other than waving to her from a distance, they hadn’t spent any more time together since.
‘You’ve finished for the day?’ she asked.
‘I have. But I’ve come to convince you that there’s another game of polo you have to attend next weekend.’
‘Another game?’ she asked. ‘I’ve only just recovered from watching the first one.’
Benjamin laughed, before indicating the seat across from her.
‘Please, sit, I’d be happy for the company. I’m so tired of looking through all this paperwork.’
He leaned forward and took the orange juice she’d poured earlier and then forgotten about, taking a long, slow sip. Shewatched him, drawn to his easy manner and how comfortable she felt around him already. Although she could feel the creep of a blush when she thought about how close they’d come to kissing the other day.
‘I’d offer to help, but paperwork isn’t my thing.’
