My darling B, my heart, my soul. I only wish we’d had longer.
I only wish we’d had longer to search for the daughter that I should never have given up. The daughter that I should have been brave enough to keep, brave enough to tell you about, brave enough to tell the world about.
She would have to live with that regret for the rest of her life, wondering what had become of her beautiful little girl, with eyes as bright as her father’s, who’d stolen her heart in the short time she’d held her in her arms.
And she would always wonder if her child would one day come looking for her, so that she could tell her what a beautiful soul her father was. A man who’d taken her hand when she was just a girl of eighteen and promised to never let go, who’d stood in the wings and told her to be brave, who’d have stood by her side when she was alone and pregnant, if only she’d given him the chance.
35
PRESENT DAY
Ella walked along the beach, barefoot and with her hat hanging from her fingertips. Her mother was back at the house, packing—she’d managed to get on the same flight as Ella going home—but Ella was having a hard time even thinking about returning to London. Greece had changed her in a way she could never have imagined. She’d arrived on holiday with a thought of what she wanted to do, with dreams of painting and filling her spare time with trying to understand the clues in her little box. But her time away had been so much more than a holiday.
She’d gained a grandmother, which in itself was almost impossible to process, but she’d also begun to understand herself and what she truly wanted from life. She was re-energised about going back to work at the gallery; being away had made it clear to her that she loved her work, but she no longer wanted it to be her entire identity. She wanted to paint and find that creative part of herself again; she wanted time to be herself and fall in love, to see what might develop between her and Gabriel. Suddenly, she couldn’t imagine her life without him in it.
Ella wasn’t yet sure if he was her Bernard, but she wanted to take the time to nurture things between them and see if perhaps he might just be to her what Bernard had been to Alexandra.
She stopped walking then and took the little wooden box from her pocket, bending low and scooping some sand and pebbles into it. Alexandra had the sheet of music and the photo now, both returned to her on the day she’d met her, but Ella hadn’t felt ready to part with the box. Without it, she would never have come to Greece, and she wanted to keep a little piece of Skopelos with her at home. She would give it pride of place somewhere so that she could always look at it and smile, remembering the days she spent on the beautiful island.
Ella traced her thumb over the box one last time before putting it back in her pocket, knowing it was time to do one last thing before she went back to the house. Gabriel would be leaving the next day for his tour, and she didn’t want to miss her chance to wish him luck.
The phone rang at least eight times before going to voicemail, and although she hesitated and considered hanging up, Ella instead clutched the phone tighter, staring out at the sparkling blue ocean stretching before her.
‘Gabe, it’s me. I told myself that I was calling to tell you to have a wonderful time on tour, but to be honest I’m calling because I wanted to hear your voice. Maybe I’m mad, maybe it’s hearing about Bernard and Alexandra and getting carried away with their story, but I miss you already. Anyway, this is me, saying that when you get back, I can’t wait to see you.’ She hesitated, before forcing out the words. ‘Because I think that I might love you.’
Ella laughed at herself as she finally ended the call. She was mortified, but also happy that she’d been honest. Alexandra would have been proud of her, she was certain of it.
And as she strolled back down the beach, past rows of umbrellas and loungers that had been abandoned now that the sun was going down, Ella felt her phone vibrating. She glanced at the screen and saw that it was Gabriel.
‘So you think I’m your Bernard?’
Ella burst out laughing. ‘I really wish I hadn’t left you that message.’
‘Ella, I’m at the airport, we’ve just boarded, but I saw your voicemail and listened to it just as—’
‘Sir, please turn off your mobile device.’
Ella could hear the flight attendant reprimanding Gabriel in the background.
‘I miss you too,’ he said quickly. ‘I promise I’ll call, but if I don’t go now I’m going to be removed from the flight. I love you too.’
The line went dead then, but Ella didn’t care. She smiled to herself all the way up the quaint stone path that she knew she would miss walking up every day, barefoot with her sandals in one hand. She could hear the faint sound of laughter and the clinking of glasses—either tourists celebrating their holiday in paradise or locals happy to be sharing a meal together.
Her mother opened the door when she arrived back, as if she’d been waiting for her.
‘That’s a lovely big smile.’
‘I think I’ve found my Bernard,’ she blurted out.
‘Well, then, I can’t wait to meet him. Where is he?’
Her mother looked out the door, as if perhaps expecting that he was waiting to come in behind her.
‘He’s in London. Actually, he’s on a plane.’ Ella groaned. ‘It’s a long story.’
‘Let’s have one last dinner by the water, and you can tell me all about it.’
Ella stood and stared out at the view, at the wooden easel she’d left outside in the hope that someone else might discover it, at the endless blue ocean that stretched as far as the eye could see. Greece was part of her soul, she could feel it, and she knew that she would return, no matter what.
