Hope’s soft voice on the other side of the door pulled her from her thoughts. She quickly wiped her cheeks and cleared her throat. ‘Come in.’
Hope entered and came to sit down beside her, taking her hand.
‘She’s gone?’
‘Not yet,’ Hope said. ‘Alexandra, the mother has asked to meet you. She would like to speak to you before they leave.’
Alexandra looked up, meeting Hope’s warm gaze. ‘I don’t,’ she swallowed, trying to get her words out, ‘I don’t think I can.’
‘And that’s perfectly fine,’ Hope said, gently squeezing her hand. ‘But not many girls get the opportunity to meet the woman who will raise their child. So I’ll give you a few minutes in case you change your mind. We’ll be just downstairs.’
Alexandra nodded, sitting silently and listening as Hope closed the door behind her. She stood and looked out of the window, parting the curtains and looking down at the smart Ford Cortina parked outside the house. That was the car her daughter would be leaving in.
She took a deep breath before turning and hurrying across the bedroom.If I don’t meet her, if I don’t do this, I’ll regret it forever.
Alexandra walked down the stairs, hearing voices, and she paused outside the sitting room for a moment, listening. She could hear them, this couple who had adopted her daughter.
‘Sorry to interrupt,’ she said, as she found the courage to step into the room.
‘Alexandra,’ Hope said, immediately coming to stand beside her. ‘My dear, thank you for coming down. I’d like you to meet Maria and Simon.’
‘Hello,’ she managed, finding it almost impossible to speak as she stared at the woman in front of her, holding her baby. She fought against the desire to snatch her daughter back, to tell them they couldn’t have her. Alexandra stared at the dark sprinkling of hair on her head, the perfect little pink, Cupid’s bow lips, her tiny fingers reaching out over the blanket as she stretched.
You are my heart, little one. I love you more than you could ever imagine.
‘Thank you for coming down to meet us,’ the woman said. ‘Could we have a moment in private, just me and Alexandra?’
Hope looked at her and Alexandra nodded, and soon they were standing in the room, just the two of them.
‘I want to start by saying thank you for the gift you’ve given us. We’ve been trying to start a family for three years, so this little one has truly made our dreams come true.’
Alexandra hated the way she looked down atherbaby with such contentment, but she knew that was wrong. She should have been grateful that the other woman was so immediately smitten with her.
‘Promise me that you’ll give her the life she deserves,’ Alexandra whispered, stepping forwards and touching the backs of her fingers to her daughter’s warm, soft cheek.
‘We will. But in turn, I want you to promise me one thing too.’
Alexandra studied the woman’s face. ‘What could I possibly promise you? I’ve already given you my baby.’
‘I want you to promise me that you’ll never come looking for her. She’s our daughter now, and from the moment we walk out through that door, you’ll have to let her go.’
Silent tears ran down Alexandra’s cheeks as she forced herself to nod.
‘There will be no photos sent to you, no contact whatsoever, and we have no intention of ever revealing to our daughter that she was adopted. Do I make myself clear?’
‘Yes,’ Alexandra whispered.
‘Good,’ the woman said. ‘Now that’s settled, would you like to hold her one last time?’
Alexandra would have preferred to cry and tell her how cruel she was, but instead she held out her arms. This was the very last time she’d hold her baby. ‘I would very much like that. Thank you.’
The moment her daughter was in her arms again, the pain that arrowed through her was more excruciating than childbirth. It took every ounce of strength not to call Hope in and tell her that she’d changed her mind, but she’d already gone through this countless times. If she were to keep her, where would she go? How would she find a job and care for her daughter all on her own? She could beg her aunt to take her in, but the last thing she wanted was to ask such a thing of another.
Alexandra pressed a kiss to her baby’s forehead, her lips lingering as she inhaled, committing the smell and feel of her to memory. ‘I love you,’ she whispered. ‘I love you so much it hurts.’
And as her tears started to fall all over again, she passed her back to the other woman and turned away, hurrying back upstairs so she didn’t have to witness them leaving with her. For once they walked out of that door, her daughter was gone forever.
* * *
